.3.3.04
If you're feeling happy,
then, girl, we can get sappy.
If you're feeling blue,
then, girl, I am too.
If you're feeling afraid,
then you've only gotta call me,
and I'll be brave.
If you're ever feeling alone,
then, baby, just pick up the phone,
I'll be there in spirit, or in person too
Just remember, my love..
I'll always be there for you.
3.18.04
I wish all the pain would just cease and desist.
This doesn�t feel like rain, it�s more like piss.
What�s love got to do with this?
Why can�t I just be happy with my life?
Why am I always upset or mad?
Does it really have anything to do with something someone did?
Or is it simply because I can�t deal with it?
With life.
My rollercoaster, the ups and the downs,
the smiles and the frowns,
With people saying why can�t I just be a man?
Well if I am a man then how do I deal?
Do I just throw it all away, disregard how I feel?
You tell me � what�s worked for you?
Do you just simply ignore all the shit that�s in view?
You tell me � how am I supposed to act
When I feel like I�ve just been stabbed through the heart from the back?
Do you even have any answers?
No, I didn�t think so.
So I just sit here in silence.
Because all you do is sit there and point.
Point that little finger and name all my flaws.
As if I didn�t already know.
Why don�t you try telling me something different, something new?
Because all I really want it to just be happy too.
4.22.04
The seeds of bitterness are planted deep
by actions you never thought were significant.
And from those seeds sprouted pain unfathomable.
Pain that, it seems, you'll never understand.
So you can never say I don't love you.
Because each day I choke that pain down and smile,
just so you won't have to face it.
Sometimes I really think it's because you don't care.
But then other times I'm sure you do,
it's just that there's nothing you can do.
That's the way things are - and that's what we have to deal with.
But I know there are solutions, you just don't make the time.
So you can never say I don't love you.
Because every day I choke down that bitterness and smile,
just so you won't have to face it.
4.28.04 Words of Lament
How can I look into your eyes
Can you even bare to look at me
after what I've done to you?
I'm here, standing in front of you..
again..after all this time has passed.
What are you thinking?
Can I ever ease your pain?
I know I've hurt you deeply, again..
But will you ever.. ever..
be able to forgive me, darling?
I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel.
With such a tortured heart. I'm so sorry..
.8.22.05 A Place of Serenity
Feeling surrounded and stressed,
hammered, trapped, and depressed,
Everyone needs a place of serenity.
A place to go and clear your mind, purify your soul.
A place to go and rejuvenate, to regrow
all that was lost in our day to day struggles.
Whether it be by quiet ponds or lakes,
with shining sun or bright white snowflakes,
whether it be high in the mountains or low in the valley,
Or some quaint urban alley,
Everyone needs a place to go and be at home.
Free from all distractions, a place where the mind can roam.
A place to go and sit and pray
to relieve the stress from everyday.
Everyone needs this quiet space,
a place of calm, an piece of sanity.
Everyone needs...
a place of serenity.
10.14.05
It is finally time
For this tree to shed its leaves.
Autumn has come.
Shedding so many leaves,
How does the tree know
To which form to return in the Spring?
With changes all around
Could this possibly be
The season of change?
On the eve of a big change
How does one prepare oneself
For the days to come?
How can one tell
The direction that the wind
Will turn to next?
The chilling wind
Blows through, straight to the bone
That cold wind of the unknown.
.2.1.07
I want to get to know you; get into your world.
Baby, don�t hesitate. Just give it a whirl.
�Cuz I�m drowning in my own interest.
If I wait any longer I won�t survive.
No more putting it off, no more trying to hide.
My thoughts are like poison running through my veins.
I�ve got an unquenchable thirst and it�s driving me insane.
But girl, you�re my antidote--my antidote for real.
Please don�t hide yourself away; you�re my only chance to heal.
It�s so hard to be faithful when I�m losing my grip.
I�m holding on so tight, my life�s about to rip.
I�m not asking for forever, just a little bit of time.
To see if we could work; how far we can climb.
I want to get to know you; get into your world.
To see if there�s really something behind
That sparkling look in your eye.
If I refuse to live life, I might as well have died.
No more putting it off, no more trying to hide.
