| Author's note: This is a piece of satire based on the MOVIE, the fellowship of the ring, and the TV SERIES of neon genesis evangelion. It is by no means accurate to the actual printed book/comic for either of the stories. Pretend this is the disclaimer. I'm too lazy to write a proper one, so there! Apology: (To any NGE fans). I noe I keep explaining stuff. And there's even more explaining in this chapter; things which you would already know. But bear with me, k. Cos I've also sent the story to a LOTR fan site too. That's why I'm a bit on the long-winded side. I wanna try to make sure ALL the readers know what I'm talking about. And that done with, LETS GET ON WITH THE STORY! Chapter 4: Dirty Laundry The relationship between Misato and Kaji was a complicated one. Although it was clear they were madly in love, most people just assumed their relationship was based on no more than a sexual attraction. No doubt it started that way at first. But that was twenty years ago. Misato and Kaji were college sweethearts. At first it certainly was a VERY STRONG sexual attraction. As she told Ritsuko, then already her closest friend, she skipped a whole week of school because 'she was having non stop sex with her new boyfriend'. Later, she came to love him so bad it scared her. What scared her even more was that he reminded her so much of her father, someone she absolutely loathed till he died protecting her in the Second Impact. Terrified of her growing dependence on a man, she broke up with him. But it wasn't a clean break. She lied. She told him she had found someone new. And he believed her. Heartbroken, he slunk away, out of her life. And she never forgave herself for that. Because she never stopped loving him. Interestingly, the three stooges were united by NERV, where they all found a job- Ritsuko and Misato first, then, much later, Kaji. There, the emergence of an old flame brought out all the love and passion they had once shared. But they were in love. At least that much was obvious. Especially by the way she cried at his death. Before leaving on a deadly secret mission to uncover the truth behind NERV, he left her a message on her answering machine. It went something like this. "You're probably listening to this after all the trouble I've caused you. I'm sorry. Tell Ritsuko I'm sorry too. If I ever see you again, I'll say those words I never said twenty years ago�" Tough Major Katsuragi. She was a pillar of strength at NERV. Proud and strong-willed by nature, Misato is a woman who never cries. She could have choked to death on her own tears that day. And that's how the story ends in NGE. But seeing as I'm a huge fan of the Misato-Kaji relationship, and that this is MY fanfic, I HAVE THE POWER!!! (evil laugh) I CAN RESURRECT KAJI-SAN!!! But seriously, out TV screen blacks out and a gunshot is heard?!? Like that's supposed to be his grand exit? I mean, who's to say he might not have SURVIVED?!! Well, in this fic, he did. And he came back. Lying awake on his bed, feeling the warmth of his body against hers, hearing his rhythmic breathing as he sleeps, she realizes, not for the first time, just how very precious he is. "I love you," she imagined herself telling him. Kaji stirs. He opens his eyes and sees her looking at him. Misato takes a deep breath. Its now or never. "Kaji. Kaji-san. I�i�" she struggles to get the words out but somehow, they remain stubbornly lodged in her throat. "I�i�" her eyes glistened with tears. She didn't understand it. Why was this so difficult? Kaji looked into her eyes and kissed her. "Its okay. I know�" Usually she would have been relieved. Relieved that she had been spared the difficulty of speaking the unspeakable. Tonight however was different. All the time they had been together, it was a phrase that hung heavy in the air. Unsayable. Unspeakable. Not even when Kaji had returned from the mission alive. Never, never� it was so HARD! But she knew she would never be able to live with herself if she were to loose him again without ever telling him just how much he meant to her. "Kaji�." Her voice failed her. "I�." She gulped back tears. By then, he had sat up with her, and holding her gently against him, rocked her soothingly back and forth, a rhythmic motion that helped allay her fears somewhat. She took a deep breath. "Kaji. I love you." The rocking stops. He stares at her. Then, oh so slowly, an inkling of a smile plays upon his lips. Then, he hugs her so hard that for a second, she could hardly breathe, and buries his head in her hair. Then his touch grows gentle. So gentle, as if she were insubstantial as mist and might disappear if he held her too hard. Sitting there, with his arms around her, a tear rolls down his cheek, as if that was the most precious thing anybody has ever said to him. And Misato smiled. That look on his face� she would remember it for the rest of her life. * * * * * * * Ayanami awoke the next morning to find Legolas lying on top of her. AUTHOR: HAH AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! I was jus joking!!!!! She didn't really! Oh, God that would have been SO NOT HIM! But I gotcha there, didn't I? Hehe (giggles mischievously) but seriously, I thought the last scene was pretty heavy, so, just to lighten things up, I tried to think of the silliest image ever! Can you imagine him making out with a girl? I know I cant. Hmmm. But then again, 3 months ago I swore it would be impossible to get them to kiss and look what happened. (Btw, I still don't know if the kissing scene was realistic. Write in!!! PLEASE��� I beg of you!!!) * * * * * * * * Frodo awoke the next morning to find the sun shining brightly into his eyes. After the eerie gloom of the night before, the sunlight was almost blinding. Especially considering his headache� "Ooohh" he groaned as he sat up. The events of the previous night was still fresh in his mind. The Lady Galadriel had called him, and he like a fool had followed her, entranced. But he had come to regret his actions, for she had only confirmed his greatest fears. Still� He had remembered the look of confusion on her face as she looked into the Mirror. "The Mirror shows the course of time. And it is never wrong. But�" "Events have been changed. Reality is a delicate thing, Frodo. Mists gently swirling to an unseen wind. But the wind of change has blown your way, ushering a new era to the fate of the Ring." "Frodo, you must be patient, Frodo. For your case is a unique one. The Mirror has picked up discrepancies, events that may unfold not as it should. And what that really means, child, is that you must never give up hope." "For although the Fellowship may be breaking up, the Coalition will still stand strong. And that is where Hope lies. It is a thought that you must never let go of. * * * * * * * Since that day, something changed in Kaji. He felt different. Suddenly, he didn't need to flirt with other girls the way he used to. Sure, he'd LOOK at them, but it stopped there. Suddenly, there was simply no need for more. And it wasn't just that. He found himself thinking of Misato 24-7. Well, of course he always thought of her. Its just that� well� there was something different. Suddenly, something beeped, knocking him out of his reverie. Damn! He'd been daydreaming again! What the hell was wrong with him? Looking down at his monitor, he saw an 'urgent message' icon flash on the top left-hand corner of his computer screen. It was the Commander, summoning him into his presence. Kaji sighed in exasperation. Sheesh. His day simply CANNOT get any worse. * * * * * * * "Kaji." The voice of the Commander was cool and controlled. "It has come to my attention that you are not performing up to standards. Your work is slipping." "My apologies, then. I have been a bit distracted lately." "With regards to Misato?" Kaji was caught off guard. "I do have eyes, you know. The Major has also been acting� different lately. But do you know what's so different between you and her?" "No sir" "The Major knows better than to let standards slip! She knows that if she works for NERV, she must be able to differentiate between her work life and her private life!" he barked. Kaji hung his head. The Commander was right. He was behaving like a child. He felt so stupid. "Is she pregnant?" "BLOODY HELL!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING?!? Man, you have GOT to get out in the sun more often. It must be all the stuffy air. Gets to your brain. Its unhealthy." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Misato step out from the shadows. Grinning mischievously, she pointed at Gendo with her thumb, then held her forefinger out in a circling motion around her head, all the time, rolling her eyes in bemusement. "Commander Ikari. I appreciate your concern, but I must ask you not to interfere in my private affairs. I respect your work ethics enough to leave all that crap behind when I'm at NERV, and I hope that in return, you would respect my privacy "Major. This does not concern you." "No? Well then. I think you're mistaken. It does concern me. It concerns me very much indeed." "Isn't there something you should be attending to?" "Hell no." "The Children, perhaps?" Watching all the color drain from her face, Ikari knew his arrow had hit home. And suddenly she was lost. All the life that was in her just vanished. And she just stood there, swaying a little. Until Kaji mustered up the courage to walk across the silent room. Until he stood beside her and took her hand. And then, Misato could feel her strength returning. She raised her head and stared at the Commander, a defiant smile playing on her lips. And standing there beside Misato, Kaji could feel his own resolve growing stronger. No. He didn't have to take this shit from Gendo. And Gendo nodded. "Well, if that's the way it is, I have little more to say. But remember, Kaji. You are a heartbreaker. It is embedded in your very nature. You use women. You drain them dry, and when they can no longer satisfy you, you toss them aside." "One day, you would have drained Misato of all her sap." "And then what will happen?" "Will you just discard her like all the others?" * * * * * * Legolas looked around. He was� alone. In a meadow. And he couldn't quite remember just how he got there. He looked down. Arrows. Yes, arrows. He was fashioning bits of sticks into arrows, just in case his own supply would eventually run out. Wait! His sharp ears detected a rustle of leaves. There was somebody behind him! He jumped to his feet and reached for his bow� �only to find it gone. Hovering on the verge of panic, he lunged for a makeshift arrow and spun around to confront� �Ayanami? What on earth is she doing here? Wasn't she supposed to be somewhere? Somewhere else� Legolas could feel his mind slipping. Somewhere�warm. Fire! All of a sudden, the events of the previous night flooded past is eyes. He had kissed her. Oh, ye Gods, he had kissed her! He had never kissed a girl since� �.since� And suddenly she was in his arms. He could feel her warmth. And he kissed her. Again and again he kissed her, till he could feel her pulling him closer, tighter. His hands strayed down, caressing her, tracing the outline of her body, his fine elfin fingers making their way across her stomach, between her legs, her thighs, then back up towards her breasts. And suddenly his hands were on her zipper, undressing her, tearing off her plugsuit, desperate for a touch of the pale white skin beneath. He heard her gasp, in shock or in pleasure, he knew not what, but he pressed his lips to hers again, cutting her off. Oh ye Gods� And as his hands ran down her naked body, his thoughts were inevitably drawn towards a figure in his past� �a young girl� �HER!� Horrified, he slammed open his eyelids and jerked himself into a sitting position�. �and woke up gasping for breath. As his gaze took in the campsite, he could gradually feel his breathing grow calmer, more rhythmic, all his fears washed away by the familiar sights and sounds of the woods. "HIYA SLEEPY HEAD! It's late morning, bordering on noon! And here's me thinking you elves are early risers. Heheh. Seems to me that oim mistaken!" Gimli roars, slapping him playfully on the back. Legolas relaxed. A dream. It was all a dream. But it had felt so real. Too real almost. Oh, ye Gods. He had not been with a girl since� "Now get off your bum, ya big baby. We're almost off! Wont do to leave the great Archer behind, would it." He laughs. Then he grins conspiratorially. "You was dreaming of her, wontcha boy." Legolas turned a shade whiter. "Who?" "Her. The blue one." "No." "By all the gods of your people, you were." He said, then leaned over him and whispered so that nobody could hear. "You was. I heard you. You called her name, boy." Legolas turned paler still. Gimli flopped back and stretched. "But don't you worry! Nobody else was around! And I'm not telling!" he chuckles. The look of relief on his face was so great it caught Gimli totally off guard. "By the Gods! You were shagging her!" "I wasn't!" "Yeah, but in the dream you were!" "Was not!" "Was too!" "WAS NOT!" "WAS TOO!" "WAS NOT!!!" "WAS TOO!!!" "WAS NOT!!!!!" "BY THE GODS, YOU WERE!!!" "BY THE GODS!!! NO!!!�.NO�No��no�..no. I didn't. I didn't. Gimli." He looked up pleadingly. "Tell me I didn't�." Gimli considered him critically for a moment then shook his head. "Whatever you say, Sharp-Ears. It's your life it is. I'd just say you've got issues to deal with. Me, I've got my stomach to deal with. I'm getting meself some BREAKFAST!" he sang as he sauntered off in the direction of the hobbits, all of whom were clustered around the campfire, already indulging in their third breakfast of the day. Left alone, Legolas had nothing but his own thoughts to occupy him for awhile. What was real? What was a dream? The dream was, well, just a dream. The Song was real. Which meant the kiss was real. The kiss was real. Ye Gods, he had not been with a girl since�. Since�. HER. Oh, god. No! He tried to bring his mind back to the present but his thoughts were no longer under his control. Instead, they drifted back, back to his youth. Back to� But it had felt so long ago! He was young and stupid then. Too stupid to keep his head, as his father would often say. And they had fallen in love. At least, that's what he thought at the time. He had thought it was love. To tell the truth, he still didn't know. But by all the Gods of his people, there had never been one so fair as Dallandra. His thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of people returning to camp. He looked up to see Aragorn, Boromir and Ayanami, each carrying an armful of sticks which they promptly deposited beside the fire. "Ah, you're up, I see. We were just wondering wether his highness would care to join us in our journey today. Touji there was just about to suggest leaving you behind!", Aragorn smiled. "Hey, its either that or dunk him in the lake, and I for one, am STRONGLY against polluting the river water." Touji laughed back playfully. "Shut up, Touji!" Aragorn grinned. "Boromir, come with me. We'd better see to those boats we'll be taking. Ayanami. You can stay here and start packing. Legolas, help her. And all of you, get that breakfast of yours down quickly. We need to get moving soon to catch the sunset. * * * * * * * * Contrary to Aragorn's instructions, Legolas sneaked out of the camp with Gimli under the pretence of� of� of running an errand. Yes that was it. He was running an errand. And they all bought it. Marry, Pippin and Sam were too busy cooking breakfast, Ayanami never questioned anyway, Asuka simply couldn't be bothered, and Frodo and Shinji were nowhere to be found. Touji was a different matter altogether. He raised his eyebrows nonchalantly, but watched their retreating figures closely. He could sense that something was up. Once they were out of earshot (and definitely out of eyeshot) of the gang, Legolas sat down. Gimli joined him on the ground, all the while, grinning smugly. "I told you you've got issues!" he gloated. "Admit it." "I do not have issues." "Yes you do." "No I don't." "Yes you do." "No I don't." "You do too!" "Do not!" "Do too!" "Do not!!" "Okay, then why did you drag me out here?" "I did not. You followed me." "No, you dragged me here." "Did not!" "Did too!" "Did not!" "Did too!" "I so did not drag you here!" "Oh yes you did!" "Well I did not!" "OH YES YOU DID!!" "OH NO I DI- OKAY! OKAY! I ADMIT IT! I'VE GOT ISSUES, OKAY! HAPPY NOW!!! Gimli smiled to himself and let Legolas alone awhile to simmer his heat off. After about 5 minutes, he laid a hand reassuringly on his friend's shoulder. "So tell me. What's wrong?" * * * * * * * * continues.....(click next) |
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