Subjects of My Sanity - Part 5 by Terrasa
Standard disclaimers apply
~Subject: Quatre Winner~
He wasn’t at school yesterday, or today. I don’t know
if he will even be here tomorrow… why I care… is still
bothering me. I feel sorry for him again, I guess.
Wufei Chang…
Was it me that drove him away?
Did he get scared because I knew him?
Those questions were driving me mad!
“Hey lookit that!” Hilde, my first real ‘friend‘,
was sitting with me at lunch. We were currently pointing out various
interesting people… for some reason. I guess, Hilde enjoyed
making fun of other people. And who wouldn’t, I mean, it makes
someone feel good to know that they are better than another…
and pointing the obvious out! Pathetic really… us weak minded
humans are.
“That’s the boy who doesn’t talk!” She giggled
excitedly while pointing a couple tables down from us.
I looked over to where she wanted me to, and was surprised to see
an angry looking boy. His emerald green eyes were narrowed and I could
slightly make out the sunlight shining on his normally brown hair,
showing that he had a tint of red in it. I remembered him! He was
the one who was staring at me on my first day. He seemed to be really
pissed off about something, and the reason was sitting right in front
of him. A braided boy with a mischievous smile plastered on his face
was saying something to the silent teen. I couldn’t make out
what it was, but it must have been ‘bad’ for the emerald
eyes of the silent boy widened and he stood up quickly.
I was really curious… what could make someone who looked so
emotionless before, ‘that’ angry?
I didn’t get to dwell further on it though, because the bell
ran, signaling the end of lunch and Hilde started to drag me from
the lunch room.
Hilde was a very… interesting person. I learned that soon enough…
and I wondered if I had made the right choice in befriending her.
One of the things I noticed first off, was that she loved to talk…
not too much about ordinary people, but about boys. ’Why’
she had decided that I liked to listen to her talking about cute guys,
was beyond me. One of her favorite subjects was that braided boy I
had seen earlier. She had told me that he was “so amazingly
funny” and “his hair is so hot.”
She had a couple favorite subjects, actually. I wanted to groan aloud
every time she brought up the topic of Relena, the gossip queen’s,
boyfriend. A silent Japanese boy… whom really didn’t seem
to like Relena much. I wonder why everyone kept saying they were an…
uhh… what was the word? Item! That’s it!
Someone had asked if me and Hilde were an item also. I didn’t
understand what they were talking about at first. My vocabulary must
have been lacking more than I realized. Hilde had, of course, turned
bright red from embarrassment when I answered with, “Uh…
sure.” She had later explained that they were asking if we were
a couple. She didn’t fix my mistake though… I noticed.
I also noticed how she started to touch me more after that…
starting to bloom an obvious crush on me.
Truthfully… I liked Hilde. I think that I should give her a
chance. There isn’t really harm in trying to go out with a girl
that I was obviously attracted to… well… kind of attracted
to. I still had this weird feeling inside, telling me that kissing
or holding Hilde, a girl, would feel weird. Not that I’ve ever
kissed ‘anyone’ before. Drat… I need to stop thinking
so much.
The point is… that this is my chance. It may be my only chance…
to start liking girls. I’ve already stopped looking at guys…
already forced my eyes to only see what they are suppose to. A boy
my age should have eyes only for the opposite sex.
I was going to do anything to ensure that… to ensure that maybe,
just maybe… there will be a way for me to break out of my fathers
life.
To break out of the control placed over me and become my own person.
Heh, that was going to be harder than it seemed.
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~Subject: Duo Maxwell~
Ok… I know I said I wasn’t an idiot before… but
I think I have changed my mind!
I am SO stupid! I should have never, ever, ever said that to someone!
Who knew Mr. Silent could be so scary even without words. I felt kinda
bad… asking him that question…
Me equals stupid! Stuuuuuupid!
The wonderful idea that had filled me with happiness had turned around
and become a horrible, stupid, idiotic thing to ever do! I’ve
attempted to kill myself… but no one has ever attempted to kill
me… so it would only be logical that I should try and see if
I would die by someone else’s hand, no? No? NO? Ugh, the problem
was… if I ever asked anyone to nicely kill me, it wouldn’t
happen. And my stupid little brain didn’t think up the consequences
of asking someone that stupid question… the stuuuupid question
of ‘will you kill me, please?’ Ugh… I need to really
die now, to un-humiliate myself.
Green eyes of Trowa were staring at me angrily from his now standing
position. I would have run away if he wasn’t standing right
in front of me… blocking my wonderful little exit.
It was pretty amazing to watch him when upset. His mouth opened like
he was going to yell at me but nothing came out. Instead, his mouth
snapped shut and his nostrils flared a little. Then he was gone, walked
off in a storm of angry energy. He even pushed a small girl that happened
to be in his path. Poor little girl… ended up spilling her tray
on some poor little boy.
Gah! Why am I feeling sorry for ‘other’ people?! I am
the one who needs someone to feel sorry for me! Me, me, ME!
Looking around the room I searched for my prey. Aha! Prey found at…
uh… one o’clock? Anyway, it was in the direction of my
right hand, yup… ‘that’ direction.
I walked quickly over to the table that sat an upperclassman. Her
hair was loose, around past her shoulders. She was very attractive
when not wearing the glasses I had usually seen her wear. Yes, I’ve
talked to her before. It’s not like I was going up to some stranger.
Although, she ‘had’ been a stranger last week… when
I randomly went up to talk to her…
“Duo?” Une looked up to me, standing as she saw my lip
stick out in a pout. “Aww… having a bad day?” She
asked. Coming over to grab my arm, she pulled me down to sit next
to her.
I nodded my head up and down enthusiastically.
Her thin arm came up and she patted me lightly on the head. “There,
there… only two more classes left.” She tried to reassure.
Oh, how I loved the attention! But… her words only made me
feel worse… knowing that after two classes I would have to go
home.
Well… I guess I didn’t ‘have’ to go home…
maybe I should go pick up dinner elsewhere. Yeah, fast food! Haven’t
done that in awhile. Hopefully my parents would forget about me. It’s
not like they were going to actually ‘worry’ about me.
I wish they would though.
Une left quickly after giving me a slight hug. Her magic glasses
then appeared and she transformed into her smarter self. Well, she
‘said’ she only put on her glasses because she was far
sighted… and braided her hair during classes to get it off her
paper… but her personality always seemed to change slightly…
wonder if it was just my imagination though. Yep, probably just my
imagination.
After school found me skipping along the side walk of a very popular
street. Popular with students anyway… because of the large amounts
of fast food chains and hangouts that seemed to pop up over the years.
Buildings, overtime, surrounded the old popular soda pop hangout in
attempt to draw away the business. And of course, it worked, and the
old style soda pop shop went under… couldn’t compete with
all the new and more cooooool stuff. Yes, the world of business is
a very cruel world indeed.
As I made my way to Edwards, a popular old style burger joint- one
of the only old style places still standing nowadays, I felt a weird
prickling on the back of my neck. My head snapped around, looking
down the street for signs of anyone watching me.
No one. Well, that was weird. I think I felt the sensation of someone
watching me two more times before I finally came to my destination
and bolted inside the door. Eyes wide with determination to spot everything
that went in and out of the now closed door that had shut behind me.
“Hey! Duo! How ya been?” Bill, the owner of the place,
smiled brightly at me before coming from around the counter to pat
me on the back.
I sighed happily. More attention! Today was definitely turning for
the better.
Bill was the son of Edward, the founder of the place whom died only
a year ago. I don’t think he really had it planned to take over
the measly business his father left him, but it was hard to turn down
a dying mans wish. So, he was stuck here… he complained a lot,
but I knew he had come to love the place. Like so many of the regular
customers. I wasn’t a regular… only came maybe four times
a month, but I had befriended Bill long ago when I had met him at
the grocery store. I wont go into great detail about that… lets
just say we both had our eye on the last bag of Easter colored M&M’s.
I stood and chatted with the owner for awhile before taking my usual
order of a bacon burger and greasy fries. The table far into the corner
looked inviting. If I sat just right, I would be able to keep an eye
on the entrance.
Gah! What the hell was I doing? Shall I say… paranoid? I can
not believe that I actually had the stupid idea that someone was following
me. I think I need to go to the doctor… something is definitely
wrong with me… I might be delirious!
“Ketchup, ketchup, ketchup… ketchup, ketchup, ketchup…”
I sang my usual song while opening the little packets and pouring
large amounts of red goodness onto my burger and plate. One slipped
from my hand and the half opened ketchup packet fell onto my lap.
“Gah! Nooo, an evil stain!” I shrieked, while reaching
for a napkin which just ‘had’ to slip from my greasy hands
and fall to the floor. With a frustrated sigh, I slipped down under
the booth table and snatched the little piece of white trouble.
As I came up, I noticed one thing… the absence of nothingness
across the table from me. Yes, someone had decided to join me and
my dinner.
“Gyaaaa!!”
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~Subject: Trowa Barton~
I wonder why they keep this old place. Do they not realize that mustard
yellow booth tables are out of style? The only reason fast food places
like that one with the giant ‘M’ have ugly colors is because
it’s good for business… in the sense that they want their
customers to be as uncomfortable as possible… so they will leave
as soon as possible… in order to round up more customers. And
the funny thing is, most people don’t even realize that they
are being treated so rudely. It’s like saying, “Eat and
get out!” to every customer… the non verbal way.
Everything these days is analyzed… tested… in order to
improve profits, if only by one percent. Yet this old burger place
seems to want its customers to stay… because the cushions are
soft, but the colors are old and hideous!
Anyway, the reason I would know that about this place called ‘Edwards’,
was because I had come across the notion that it would be a good idea
to keep an eye on the suicidal braided classmate of mine.
I had slipped in just as Duo’s attention had left the door.
I had to admit, he seemed very much aware of his being followed. But,
I wasn’t going to show myself without a little bit of a dramatic
entry.
“Gyaaaa.” Violet eyes widened as I sat down at his booth
unnoticed. I mentally smirked as I saw his body jump slightly from
his seat in fright. Yes, it was a very good decision to follow him.
Ever since I met him, things have been more… interesting. Though,
my real motive for keeping an eye on him was to make sure he didn’t
pull a stupid stunt like the one before. I don’t exactly know
what is wrong with him, but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t
his first time trying to kill himself.
When he asked me to kill him at lunch, I had been so angry. It was
weird… that feeling… I hadn’t felt in so long. The
expression on his face when he asked me to kill him… it was
that of good humor… like he was joking. But, the tone in his
voice was serious… and for a split second I was scared, and
then my anger erupted, almost making me want to scream at him.
It took me awhile to calm down. At first I wanted to confront him
again and tell him, somehow, that he was a fool for trying to waste
his life. Then I realized that he wasn’t a fool… and he
probably thought about all the possibilities of dying countless times…
what right did I have to judge his motives… when I didn’t
even know him?
So, that is why I was here now. Sitting in front of him in the run
down eating place, looking amusedly at his shocked expression.
“YOU! You were following me weren’t you!” He accused,
voice loud enough to draw the attention of at least half of the restaurant
occupants.
I shook my head, denying his very rude accusation.
“Haha… very funny!” He growled, picking up his
burger and angrily shoving it into his mouth. His eyes never left
mine… never stopped their glaring. It took a couple moments
before he managed to calm down enough, finish off his few bites with
a sip of water, and start the questioning that was bound to come.
“Why are you following me?” He asked, arms folded in front
of him.
I smirked.
“Ah! You were freaked out by what I said earlier!” A
light bulb must have went off in his head somewhere. “You’re
trying to keep an eye on me.”
I shrugged.
“Jeez, cant you take a joke?” He asked, trying his best
to talk lightly, when I could clearly see by his body language that
he was fidgeting with nervousness.
Shaking my head I reached across and stole one of his fries. He just
sighed and rolled his eyes.
Silence filled the diner, I think people were listening in on our
little conversation…well, it was a one sided conversation since
one of us wasn’t do any talking. It was probably hard ‘not’
to listen to Duo’s loud voice though. Not that I really cared
if people were listening… I mean… I wasn’t the one
they were eavesdropping on, now was I?
“Ok, so you’re a hard cracker.” Duo said. He must
have seen my, not so easily read, confused expression, because he
added, “There isn’t any way that I can make you forget
the incident today is there? Anything at all? Shall I pull out the
bribes?”
I shook my head, smirking slightly when imaging what ‘he’
would consider a good bribe.
“Ugh! So what do you plan on doing about it? Hmm?” His
eyes squinted slightly as an evil grin appeared on his face.
Crossing my arms, I leaned back of the chair, looking at him with
a bored expression.
“You… don’t actually plan on following me around
all the time, right?”
I shrugged.
He sighed and then his head fell, banging loudly on the table surface.
His shoulders started shake slightly, my first assumption was because
he was crying… but he wasn’t. I don’t think I will
ever live to see that boy cry.
“You… are… SO going to be sorry!” As his
head lifted, I couldn’t help but feel a little nervous under
the maniac stare.
I think I might regret it too.
*******
TBC
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