Subjects of My Sanity - Part 11 by
Terrasa
Standard disclaimers apply
~Subject: Wufei Chang~
The darkness of the streets was starting to get on my nerves as I
made my way alone the deserted path. And the creepy feeling that someone
was watching me did not help any. Though, I think it was just the
paranoia that was looming over me. Afraid… of what would happen
when the boss sends someone after me. I wouldn’t even say the
‘if’ word, if he comes after me. Because it was already
too stuck in my head that I was going to be chased, I was going to
be beaten, maybe to death. Then why was I running, with that thought
that it was useless?
I had no clue.
Maybe this is a temporary freedom. A couple days away, on my own,
free from the boss and his rules… his money… the customers.
This is what I wanted… always wanted. To just be on my own,
make my own money, feed myself without having to use my body to get
the food.
I growled as my feet hit a crack in the sidewalk, causing me to stumble
forward. It would have been easy to retain my balance if not for the
fact that I had just gotten beat up only an hour or so ago. I fell,
hard, against the pavement, palms scrapping the rough ground, causing
me to wince as the skin tore. Well, I guess it didn’t really
matter that any more injuries were added to the list, but my foolishness
was what I was not willing to overlook. I needed to stop daydreaming
about the past and get my head cleared. I needed a plan.
The whole night was spent walking, my head filled with places I could
go, places I could acquire food. By the time early morning hit, the
slightest of light filling the streets, I was to the school. I predicted
it was about five in the morning, seeing as it was just on the brink
of day, the dark sounds of night still hanging on.
I made my way quickly inside the grounds, hopping over the short
gate that stood to keep intruders away. I knew I probably looked like
hell, and that was why my feet turned me towards the direction of
the gym. With any luck, I might be able to find some decent clothes
in the lockers. Picking the locks was going to be tricky, but I had
at least two hours to work on that, before the majority of the student
body made their appearance.
Surprisingly, it only took me an hour to find something suitable
to wear. Only one locker seemed to contain black clothes, shirts and
pants alike. I had forgotten how guys weren’t usually the ones
to keep anything in their lockers other than the gym wear, so I had
been disappointed on almost all accounts in my search. But, the locker
closest to the back was a lucky draw. It was filled almost completely
with various clothes… some of which…. were really odd.
All were dirty it seemed, but I was more willing to wear something
once worn than the bloody mess that was on me now.
A small black shirt, I looked at it for a moment, examining the size
with my eyes, determining if it would actually fit me. It was a tight
fit, but it worked alright. Pants… were a whole different story.
There was no way I was going to wear something… like ‘that’.
The only thing that even resembled a pain of jeans was torn at the
knees, had a bunch of black patches, and looked at least three sizes
too small. I tossed the idea of trying them on out of my mind quickly.
I could go without changing my pants. They had a little blood on them,
but nothing a little water couldn’t help with. Well… that
was what I had assumed. But after scrubbing the annoying garment for
about five minutes, I came to the conclusion that I was just making
it worse. Oh well, I didn’t think anyone would have noticed
it anyway. They would probably be too absorbed on the bruising of
my face.
I was left with an hour to roam the school grounds, maybe rest up
a bit. Moving around all night with no sleep was really taking a toll
on my already sore body. I ended up walking around the perimeter of
the school, looking for any place where I could take a nap. That was
when I came across the back part of the school, where I had never
really gotten around to going before. Stairs, blocked off by an old
wooden gate, seemed to lead up to the roof from what I could see.
They were right beside the dumpsters, and a big door which was most
likely the kitchen exit. My guess was that no one ever came around
over there, seeing as it smelled like rotten food.
I mustered up just enough strength to climb the gate, falling hard
on the other side, palms sliding flat on the ground surface, reminding
me of my fall earlier. I sighed as I started the short way up to the
roof, I really wanted to sleep now. I was exhausting myself with all
of this exploring.
The stairs turned, ending at a closed door. I would have been able
to get onto the roof, maybe sleep on the flat surface, face to the
sun if I was willing to hop over the short wall. But, my curiosity
got the better of me, and I found myself turning the handle to the
door in front of me instead.
Locked.
I cursed, seemingly angry with my luck lately. My foot came out,
kicking the bottom of the door with the tip of my boot. Imagine my
surprise when the door swung open, wide, revealing nothing but the
darkness within it. I stood, eyebrows arched, eyes trying to adjust
to the dimly lit area in front of me. The door, it seems, was not
locked. There wasn’t even a lock on it to begin with. The only
thing keeping it closed was the tight squeeze, probably old age, foundation
settling the wood closer together.
My feet dragged me forward, eyes finally adjusting enough to see
that the room was small, maybe a little bit larger than a closet.
I couldn’t stop the grin that settled on my face as I explored
the shelves. This would be a perfect place to stay. Even if someone
came here during the day, I would not be here to get caught. I guess,
luck finally decided to give me something, a safe haven for the time
being. And what could be safer than school? There was no way that
the boss would ever try something here… well, in the day time.
But it would be pretty hard for him to discover me, right?
Whatever would happen, it would not happen for awhile. I would not
be able to stay here forever, but this would be a perfect place to
hide out until I came up with a plan. And, who knows, I just might
be able to sneak into the kitchen to steal some food.
Yes, my day was looking much better.
Even though I tried to sleep, get some sort of rest, my mind was
in too much turmoil. School would be starting soon anyway and I knew
that I should be leaving, before anyone happened to see me coming
down the stairs. I walked out of the dark room, most likely for storage,
seeing as there was piles of computer paper and old art supplies.
The door was a little hard to close, and it made a loud squeaking
sound as I finally pulled it into place. It took me a couple minutes
to get back down the steps, seeing as I was reluctant to leave my
new safe place so soon. But, I really needed to go to school, maybe
grab some breakfast in the cafeteria.
The day started normally, me trying to avoid that annoying Duo. Though,
he ended up sitting with me at my lunch table anyways. Annoying, irritating…
ugh! I could think of a few choice curse words that would definitely
describe him, but… in actuality, I was a little more than relieved
with his behavior today. It was a good distraction, his annoying jabber
kept my mind from wandering into depressing thoughts. So, I listened
to him, though every so often I couldn’t help but steal a glance
out the window, in fear that I was being followed, in fear that I
would see the ugly form of the boss staring in through the cafeteria
window.
I really needed to figure out a plan soon.
I really needed to get out of there.
But… I didn’t know how. I was not very keen on the idea
of just hitting the road without some sort of destination. I’ve
done it before, and it only ended up with me in that damn whore house.
And there was no way I would ever go back to that… at least
alive. I would probably die… save myself from it… like
I should have done in the first place. Refused… not given in…
but I was a coward… or maybe just a child. I was surprised that
I had even made it this far. A few days ago I felt like I would only
leave that place in death. Was my luck going to run out on me?
The days went by, uneventful. Still, I could not gather the courage
to leave yet, still, I could not figure out my destination. But, for
some odd reason, I felt that things would work out. A false hope maybe,
but… it helped me… the thought… no… the feeling
that I would be alright, I would make it through this hell of a time
alive.
Yeah, it did seem like a pretty inaccurate prediction. But I could
not help thinking it, because… in truth… no one really
wants to die. No matter how many times I have told myself that it
would be better to die… I know I couldn’t do it…
bare it… not in this way. Not without finding some answers.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
~Subject: Trowa Barton~
o/` o/`
“I love you… I love you… I LOOOOVE YOOOOUUU. That
is all I have to saaaay, until I find away, until I dooo I’m
hoping you will know… how I… uh… why I…”
“Maxwell! Will you please spare us that hideous voice!”
Wufei’s loud voice caused my ears to ring slightly from where
I sat at the lunch table. I wasn’t upset though, I was actually
relieved that someone finally decided to shut Duo up. It was pretty
irritating after the third song, each one getting louder and louder.
“What? My voice is wonderful!” Duo, of course, seemed
to love the attention he was getting… even though it was not
the attention one would want. A good twenty people were probably glaring
at him from their seats in the cafeteria by now.
“Well, maybe if you could actually remember the words to the
songs!” Wufei grumbled, crossing his arms as if to pull off
the ‘I’m pissed’ look.
“What would you know about old American songs, Wu? I didn’t
think you were the type to listen to anything besides Japanese Pop.”
Duo grinned as Wufei’s face turn a shade darker. One would think
he was blushing, but people who knew him would know that he had a
pretty nasty temper.
“I do not… listen to Japanese Pop. I am not Japanese
for your… information.” Wufei’s voice was deadly
calm, and his hand was shaking slightly as if he was holding back
from exploding.
I could hear Quatre chuckle in amusement from where he sat, drinking
his usual soda, eyes moving back and forth between Wufei and Duo.
He was the only other occupant at our table at the moment. Heero had
long since run away, seemingly to embarrassed to put up with Duo any
longer. There was also probably the fact that he was shivering again,
maybe he went off to the classrooms where it was warmer.
Hmm… It seemed I wasn’t the only one who noticed the
absence of the Japanese boy.
“Eh?! Where’d Heero go?” Duo jumped up from his
seat, eyes scanning the cafeteria quickly before he sat down with
a disappointed huff. I guess, during his little singing rant, he was
too occupied to notice Heero running away with his hands covering
his ears. “Why the hell is it that everyone runs away from me!?”
That question was directed more towards Wufei then the rest of us.
Obviously in attempt to make Wufei feel sorry about last weeks disappearing
act.
The Chinese boy just smirked slightly before going back to his meal.
He seemed to be in a rather good mood today. Well, he was before coming
to lunch, anyway. His change of mood was a little odd, considering
how he was acting just the day before, almost paranoid.
“You know… it’s Friday and we haven’t thought
up a plan for what we are going to do.” Duo’s big eyes
looked to me in question. “What should we do Tro?” Right,
ok… I was suppose to think of it this time, I guess.
“Who the hell said we were doing anything today?” Wufei
mumbled into his food, his demeanor seemed to darken again.
“Aw, don’t be like that Wu. You know we would miss you
terribly if you… ran away again.” His last words were
dripping with determination. I don’t think Duo was planning
on letting Wufei escape this one if his life depended on it.
Wufei was just about to say something, I guess his big comeback,
when Heero suddenly reappeared. The small Japanese boy quickly sat
in his once earlier spot, head down, eyes darting from under his bangs,
scanning his surroundings almost as if frightened.
A couple seconds of silence permitted before Duo cleared his throat
from beside me, causing Heero to look up into the amused violet eyes.
“What’s wrong Heero? A certain blond girl chasing after
you?”
Heero paled considerably before shaking his head. I think he was
worried about what Duo would do if the Relena girl really was chasing
him.
Oh! Well look at that. Relena sighting from across the cafeteria.
I guess he really was running from her, not surprisingly. It was a
little obvious. Nothing seemed to bother Heero more than that odd
girl that wouldn’t leave him alone.
“Aw, Don’t look at me like that! I wasn’t going
to call her over or anything.” Duo snickered, grin spreading
across his lips.
Heero just crossed his arms as he turned his head to the side, in
order to not have to look at the amused Duo.
I could hear Quatre chuckling again from where he sat. I think he
enjoyed these small battles between Heero and Duo the most out of
all of us. Though, I was pretty high in the amusement, also.
Reaching into my bag, I pulled out my notebook. Seeing as they were
done with their short bickering, I decided to answer Duo’s earlier
question. I didn’t get far though, seeing as my eyes caught
a glimpse of Heero’s leg, bouncing up and down, almost as if
he was cold. Well, I could already assume that he was cold, he always
was, wasn’t he now? Duo, being the ever observant person he
was, bent down to see what I was looking at also, much to Heero’s
annoyance. His dark blue eyes widened slightly before his hands came
down, stopping the bouncy rhythm of his feet.
“You alright?” Duo’s voice sounded a bit worried.
Though it was lined carefully with his usual cheerful tone, as if
he did not want anyone to know that he was actually concerned over
such a matter.
Heero glared across the table, but would not answer the question.
Maybe because it was so obvious of an answer, or he assumed that we
would not believe his lies. Yes, a very smart move on his part.
My next surprise came when Duo threw a sweater at Heero, one that
had been carefully folded in his backpack. The only reason this was
a little surprising was because of the fact that I had never seen
Duo wear anything but black t-shirts. The sweater, was a darkish blue,
with a hood around the back. It was not something I would have thought
Duo to own.
Heero stared at it in confusion, like he could not comprehend that
he was suppose to slip it over his head. Duo hadn’t asked him
if he wanted a sweater, that would have gotten a definite ‘no’.
Instead, his voice took on that demanding tone as he said, “Put
it on Heero.”
Heero scowled and was about to push the blue cloth off the table
when Duo shot him a warning glance. Hesitantly, Heero pulled the baggy
sweater over his head in defeat, glaring the whole time, causing me
to smirk slightly at his actions. He was one of those people that
could not easily show that they were thankful. I bet Wufei would have
done a similar thing, glaring at Duo like he was mad, or he would
have disregarded the sweater altogether.
“There! That wasn’t so bad was it? So stop looking at
me like you want to chop me up and feed me to your dogs.” Heero
just rolled his eyes at Duo’s remark as he pulled his hands
into the long sleeves and re-crossed his arms. One might have thought
that he was in a straight jacket. I guess he was really cold.
The bell rang, signaling the leave of Heero from us once again. I
was about to follow his lead in going to class when I noticed that
Duo was not getting up, and his expression was not so cheerful anymore.
I joined Quatre and Wufei’s questioning stare.
“So.” Duo stood, raising his eyebrow at me slightly.
“Why’s he always cold?”
I don’t know how he assumed that I knew, maybe it was because
I had been looking at Heero weird at the diner, or maybe it was because
of the note I gave him that day. But, Duo was right in his assumption,
I did have a fairly good idea as to why Heero was like that, though,
some things still did not make sense to me.
I pulled open that notebook I had out before, opening it to the middle
where I would write on a blank page. I smirked at the thought that
this was the first time I had ever communicated with Duo other than
with gestures.
I handed him the notebook.
Quatre and Wufei were leaning in towards where Duo was standing,
curious to know what I had written. After an annoyed Duo pushed them
away for reading over his shoulder, he decided to read it out loud.
“He lives downstairs?” Duo’s eyebrow was raised
slightly, in humor of my short statement. “And… what has
that to do with the fact that he is a walking ice cube?”
Hmm… good point. I guess they haven’t actually been to
the orphanage to know that the downstairs is like a refrigerator at
night.
I grabbed the notebook back, scribbling the words:
{The downstairs of the orphanage is always cold.}
Yes, another simple statement but it would get the point across.
“You live in an orphanage?” Quatre, it seems, had taken
the notebook from Duo and was looking over my note with a crinkled
forehead. He then looked to me, catching my shrug of an answer.
“That still doesn’t explain anything.” Duo was
seemingly irritated with my responses. Hell, he should have been happy
that I was not jumping at this wonderful chance to lie. Though, I
never lied in serious situations, and this one seemed to be really
bugging Duo, for unknown reasons.
I snatched the notebook back, writing a little longer response than
the first.
{I don’t know. It was just my guess. Everyone else sleeps upstairs.
I asked the head why he was sleeping down in one of the old storage
closets , but she wouldn’t tell me anything.}
“That’s so sad.” Quatre seemed to be the only one
willing to talk at the moment. I smiled, seeing his worried face.
I didn’t think Heero would be all that thrilled that I had told
them this, he would probably freak out on me, but they were only concerned
about him. Though, he was definitely not the kind of person that wanted
someone feeling sorry for him.
The notebook came back to me and I felt that maybe I should share
the last piece of information I was willing to give.
{I hadn’t even known he was there. No one else seems to remember
anything about him, either. }
It was the truth. I had asked a couple other people about Heero,
though none gave me any answers. They didn’t have any to give,
no information at all.
“What do you mean? You forgot about him? You never see him
at the orphanage?” Quatre’s worried questions had me smiling
softly again. I shook my head, answering his concern.
“Fucking bastards.” Duo had his eyes to the ground, fist
clenched slightly like he was angry. I couldn’t really understand
why he was so upset, maybe it was at me, for not realizing Heero had
disappeared a year ago. Actually, I never really asked how long he
had been living on the bottom floor…
My thoughts were interrupted by the bell, signaling that we were
all tardy to our fifth hour class. Oh well, I didn’t like that
class anyway. I just hoped I wouldn’t get a detention, seeing
as this wouldn’t be my first lateness.
“Shit! Damnit Trowa! You made us all late.” Duo screamed,
braid flying as he ran down the hall, yelling something about a stick
up the ass teacher having his head. Yeah, of course he blames me.
I sighed, running a hand through my bangs in annoyance. As I started
to make my way down the hall, I noticed Quatre waiting for me. Hmm,
he was in that class with me wasn’t he?
He fell into step beside me, not saying anything, or seeming the
least bit annoyed with the silence. That was strange. What was even
more weird was the fact that he didn’t speak one word until
we came to our class, where he then just chuckled to himself, mumbling
something about making sure to bring his Oreo pudding for lunch tomorrow.
Strange indeed. But, what really threw me was the feeling I got when
sitting down in my seat, thinking that he was probably the first person
in a long time to not be disturbed, nervous by my quietness. Duo had
always been annoyed with it, talking to himself to make up for it.
Other people usually never associated with me, finding me too frightening
and unknown. It was kinda nice walking in comfortable silence with
Quatre.
My eyes turned to the side, taking in the blonds slumped form by
the window. He didn’t seem to be paying attention to the teachers
dull lecture, his eyes were taking in the surroundings outside. I
got the same impression from him that I noticed on the first day,
the bored, laid back person.
The funny thing was, his head turned towards me, like he had known
I was staring at him, and he smiled. It reminded my of the first day
of school, when he had caught me trying to classify him into a category.
I couldn’t help but return the smile, my heart thumping a little
faster in my chest as I did so.
*******
TBC
*******
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