See Prologue (A) for Disclaimers

Chapter Three

The dreams eased somewhat, but Dar quickly became accustomed to waking to see Miren already by Tao's side, waking him gently.  Sometimes it seemed as if she knew before he made any noise that he was having a nightmare.  A few nights more and she had made it almost a habit to sleep closer to him; Dar would wake in the night or morning to find Tao curled close to her as he had fallen asleep that first time, with his head pillowed on her breast and Miren's hand resting lightly on his shoulder.  There was a total relaxation and comfort on their sleeping faces that made Dar smile, although he kept his reaction hidden from both scholar and girl.

Miren still seemed to him like a wounded animal, her reaction to sudden sounds an instant awareness and caution that made Dar's jaw clench in anger at the Terrons every time he saw it.  Tao's information that Zad was more than likely the girl's father made him hate the man even more.  No human being should suffer what the Terrons did to their slaves, but for a father to allow it to happen to his child because she wasn't of a different gender . . .   He's more of a monster than anything the Sorceress ever created, Dar thought, watching Miren as they traveled.

She and Tao had a connection that was explained by the scholar's previous acquaintance with her, but it was more than that.  There was a genuine affection on both sides that grew by the day, and an attraction undiminished by her pregnancy, but Tao always seemed to shy carefully away from any hint of it.  Dar knew his friend and he knew that Miren, from the qualities of intelligence and courage she had displayed, was exactly the kind of woman Tao liked best.  But though Tao felt a connection to her from their shared experiences and her kindness to him, he would never act on it -- Miren had been hurt too badly, and the scholar would not push for something she might never be willing or able to give.  Trust was not something with which Miren had a great deal of experience.

Still, Dar made sure to give them plenty of time alone together, as Tao had granted him and Kyra when they had been reunited so briefly.  So Dar went scouting, perhaps a bit more often than strictly necessary, and ignored the looks Tao gave him when the scholar caught on.  The animals, to Dar's surprise, were in complete agreement with their friend the BeastMaster.  Ruh kept a good distance from Tao and Miren while Dar scouted, although he was always close enough to defend them.  Sharak's warm amusement and approval was a palpable sense against Dar's mind, and Kodo and Podo had a serious case of cupboard-love since Miren, with an almost child-like joy, gave them treats almost any time they "asked" for them.

On their eighteenth day of journeying, the group settled for a rest midday by the banks of a river they had been following at Sharak's instruction.  Dar went scouting, as was his wont (ignoring the look Tao gave him, as was also his wont), and Tao decided to set up a fishing line to provide for lunch.  Miren watched him with interest, having never seen such a device, and listened with a slight, fond smile as he explained enthusiastically about weights and counterweights and leverage, and how the fish's own weight would pull it up into the air on the slender branch.  She paid the words themselves only some attention; she was just glad to see him smiling freely again.

It had been a long time since Miren had dreamed, either good or ill.  Her mind had stopped producing images in her sleep for its own protection: good made one regret what was not available in reality, bad relived experiences that were too much to bear even once.  She had only had one dream in the past six years, and that had been the night she realized she was pregnant.  In that dream she had seen the life her child would live, be it a girl or a boy, and had woken the next morning with the resolve to escape.   But now, after so many weeks of travel in the company of two men who actually made her feel almost safe, she had dreamed one more time.

The images had been vague, tumbled, completely unable to be recalled upon waking, but it had been something good.  A sense of comfort and contentment, the latter of which she had never known in her short life, had been very clear in the dream -- and followed her into waking.  She contemplated that sense as Tao set up a small ring of stones for a fire, and her gaze rested unseeingly on the shimmer of noon sun on the river.  Suddenly the ripple of the sunlit waves was disturbed around the line that Tao had tossed into the water.  Miren frowned and concentrated on that spot.  Again the line seemed to dance a little, pull slightly deeper into the water.  And then suddenly the arched branch came upright with  twang, a silvery fish struggling on the end of the line, held safely away from the water.  Miren's eyes widened and she smiled in delight as she called for Tao.

The scholar turned and saw the fish, and a brilliant smile lit his face.  Miren laughed as he scrambled down to the bank, almost tripping when he reached the bottom and the fishing-pole.  Getting their lunch down proved trickier than Tao had anticipated, however, for the fish's struggles were of epic proportion, swinging its body back and forth with amazing accuracy as it came close to hitting Tao.  "Just leave it," Miren suggested, laughing lightly as Tao ducked.  "It'll stop soon, I'm sure."

But Tao shook his head.  Almost absently as he tried to get a grip on the thing, he replied, "No.  Fish drown in the air.  It would be cruel to let it die so slowly."

Miren blinked, then smiled slowly.  Finally, Tao managed to get hold of both fish and pole, setting both on the ground and hitting the fish once, hard, on the head.  It stopped flopping immediately.  Tao straightened, flushed from the effort but grinning as he lifted the line holding the fish.  Miren grinned back at him, surprising herself with the ease of the expression.

Scaling the fish she knew how to do, and set about it before Tao could say otherwise, though he tried to protest.  Seeing that she wouldn't be put off, he set to work preparing herbs to season their catch.  Every once in a while, they would glance at one another and smile.  Tao felt his heart soar every time it happened, not only from the feelings she inspired in him but in joy at seeing her relaxed.

The first week of the journey she had constantly been tense, her silences and heavy looks broken only when he posed a riddle or when Dar pointed out a new animal.  When his nightmares had gripped him, his conversations with her had lagged, his mind laden with thoughts on how she must have suffered at the hands of the Terrons, and memories of the few times they had actually spoken when he had been a slave in the camp.  He felt guilty for what he considered a lapse in the attention she deserved.  Especially with her occasional bouts of morning sickness.

The first morning had startled and greatly concerned him when she suddenly ran to the bushes.  Hearing the beginning of her retching, it was a moment before his worried mind provided the explanation.  Dar had been just as concerned, and figured it out as quickly.  Miren had been greatly surprised, in between the violent demands of her body, to find both men kneeling beside her.  Tao had wet a cloth with water and gently pressed it against her forehead and the back of her neck.  Dar had just as gently smoothed and held her hair away from her face, and murmured soothing words.  Which was when Tao found out that Dar's mother had been a midwife before her death in birthing her own, only son.

The little nugget of information had surprised the scholar, but he supposed that it explained some of Dar's gentleness.  Miren had still been visibly stunned, clearly used to men leaving such things as this to the slaves to deal with on their own, and extending their contempt for the women to use such moments as proof of their inferiority to men.  Tao, she said, she halfway expected such concern from -- but Dar, in her eyes, was too clearly a warrior to ever expect such gentleness from him.

Tao smiled as he remembered the dawning of that idea in her eyes that morning, and throughout the journey afterwards.  She had begun to finally feel at ease then, to realize that she could trust Dar as well as Tao.  Trust, as Dar had observed, was something fragile with Miren; she had been forcibly dependent on only herself for too long.  And despite her clear determination and courage, it still amazed Tao that she had been able to get as far from the camp as she had, all by herself, with no woods-knowledge to speak of.

She amazes me, Tao thought to himself, glancing over at the girl-woman.   In any other place, she would be a child, but she has survived horrible things and can still smile.  Of course, it's not easy, but she does . . . and she looks so beautiful sometimes . . .

It wasn't so much her looks as it was the proverbial glow given by pregnancy, but even that was not the full explanation.  When she was tense, her prettiness was hard to see through the tension in her face and frame.  But when she relaxed, it was as if a light was given permission to shine out from her soul and light up her eyes and smile.  The more she relaxed, the more it shone, and the more it shone, the more Tao felt his soul tugged towards her in response.

A gasp and muttered swear called his attention, snapping his thoughts into the present.  Tao frowned and looked at Miren, who was holding her hand to her mouth, sucking on the side of one finger.  He was on his feet and by her side instantly.  "What happened?"

Miren looked up at him and flinched back, her eyes showing fear for a moment as he suddenly appeared before her.  It lasted only a moment before her mind realized that this was not a Terron and firmly told her instincts to get ahold of themselves and relax the hand still holding the knife.  Tao noticed and took a step back, not out of caution but respect for the reason behind those instincts.  Miren smiled hesitantly at him for that, then said, "Knife slipped."

Tao frowned and knelt in front of her, taking her hand in his own before she could protest.  The cut was not deep, but neither was it shallow; blood welled and slipped down the side of the injured finger without showing any intention of stopping.  Tao winced in sympathy.  He took a scrap of cloth from his travel-bag and wrapped it about the cut to stop the bleeding, then told Miren to wait a moment while he went to grab his water-bottle and the right herbs.

Miren smiled softly as he set about cleaning the cut, remembering times like this in the Terron camp.  She winced only once or twice, instinctively pushing down her reaction to the pain.  Tao glanced up at her occasionally to see how she was handling it and frowned slightly.  He knew the cut must hurt like hell, but there were not even tears in her eyes.  He remembered that about her.  After a while, as he packed a few herbs into a clean scrap and tied it in place gently, he said, "I've never seen you cry."

Miren frowned at the observation.  His eyes rose to meet hers and suddenly she felt that familiar warm tightening in her chest and belly.  It had nothing to do with the child she was carrying, she was certain of that now.  "Tears do no good," she answered, a bit bemused.

Tao sighed, his eyes more gold than green in the bright afternoon light.  "Not always," he told her.  "Tears can be healthy, cleansing.  The gods gave us the ability to produce them for a reason."

Miren chuckled slightly.  "So you would prefer I was weeping, gibbering mess?"

Tao shook his head.  "You could never be that," he answered dryly.  "You are far too strong, and far too stubborn."  He smiled up at her, then gently lifted her injured hand and, not really thinking about it, kissed the edge of her cut finger.

Miren stared at him, smiling back.  Their gazes locked and softened, changed from humor into something else.  That  something grew in the air between them, laden and sparkling with  possibilities.  Miren lifted her hand slightly and brushed her fingertips against his jaw, then mouth.

Tao froze in place, his pupils dilating slightly in a sign she knew well.  Only, this time, she didn't fear it.  Miren leaned forward and kissed his mouth softly.  There was a moment of not-really-surprise, hesitation, and then Tao's lips moved slightly, molding themselves against her own.  The kiss began softly, each gentle touch testing the idea of it, but slowly it became deeper.

Tao found himself leaning into the kiss, one hand rising to cradle her face while the other curled into her hair.  It was still gentle, undemanding, but it still seemed to hold a fever pitch that took him completely by surprise, as did Miren's response.  Her mouth was warm and soft, but it grew more demanding, asking for everything he had to give.  And Tao was more than willing to give it, though some part of his mind stayed enough in control to be sure he didn't do anything that her abused subconscious might translate as rough or threatening.  The rest of his mind, though . . .  The world seemed to disappear from around him, all his senses caught up in her scent and taste, and the silk of her hair and skin.

What am I feeling? that small, still-rational part of him asked.   This is not like what I felt for Asha, or for Tima, who broke my heart.  This isn't even what I felt for . . .  Miren's fingers curled against the short hair at his nape, slid down to the sensitive skin of his shoulders and neck.   . . . that girl we saved and left with the Amazons, his mind struggled to say.  What had been her name?  He couldn't remember.  He was having trouble remembering his  own name right now.  He gave up the effort and concentrated fully on the kiss.

Something that almost sounded like a cough came from a distance behind them, as soft and polite as a tiger could make it.  Miren and Tao pulled apart, hearts thudding in their chests, both of them aware of the interruption but too dazed by what had been interrupted to really pay attention to its source.

It took a few tries for Tao's mind to drag his thoughts onto the appropriate track.  When it did, he looked over Miren's shoulder to the soft rise of the hill.  Ruh looked down at them with an expression as close to amusement as was possible on a feline face (which was to say, a great deal).  Miren glanced up at the sky, where Sharak had appeared to glide above them before heading down to the trees close by.  Both Miren and Tao blushed, but were grateful for the warning that Dar was approaching.

When the BeastMaster came over the slight rise and looked down at the "camp," he saw Tao and Miren at their original positions, just finishing the preparations for cooking the fish.  He decided not to tell them Sharak and Ruh had caught a great deal more of their interaction than they had let on, or that that notice was why he had taken as long as he had to show up.  That was the easy part.  Not grinning was the real bitch.

It continued to take effort through the meal, so Dar was glad for Sharak's suggestion that they remain where they were for the rest of the day and night.   The girl needs rest, though she refuses to admit it.  Almost as stubborn as you or Tao, that one.  And you can use an excuse to scout far ahead and rejoin them in the morning.

Dar glanced up at Sharak with some surprise.   Morning? he asked, almost naively confused.

Sharak's mind chuckled against Dar's.   Morning, he repeated.   You did not see all that I did.  These two need greater time alone than we have given them thus far.  They have to decide what they are to do, though I suspect they already have in their own minds.  And once decided, for one action they need far more privacy.

Dar's eyes widened slightly, though he tried to hide it.   But--  I mean-- She's with child!

Sharak cocked his head slightly, and his eyes seemed to dance with laughter as he looked down at the mortals from his perch above them.   Your aunt was midwife after your mother, and yet you do not know such things do not matter?

Dar blushed, fortunately too soft for Tao or Miren to notice and wonder at.   She never told me that.  And I never asked!

His mind's tone implied the information and accompanying images were not something he had particularly wanted.  Sharak laughed aloud and in his mind, the former coming out as a  skreee that made Tao and Miren look at him with startled frowns.

So now you know, young BeastMaster, his voice rushed breeze-like across Dar's mind, laughter clear in every word.  Now, use that knowledge well and come scouting.  I promise not to fill your poor mind with more such information -- or pictures!

Still laughing, Sharak launched himself off his branch and winged into the sky, completely ignoring the glare Dar shot at his departing figure.  For a moment, the BeastMaster sincerely regretted ever having asked for his preternatural abilities.  But then he looked at Tao and Miren, blushed a bit more as the unwanted images arose again in his mind's eye, and did exactly as Sharak had suggested.  His two traveling companions looked, in succession, surprised, relieved, and suspicious.  Dar smiled as blithely as Sharak had in his mind and pretended not to see the last.

(continued)

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