See Prologue (A) for Disclaimers

Night had fallen like a velvet curtain across the landscape.  The moon hung full and bright high in the night-sky, surrounded by shining diamond-like stars.  Miren looked up at them and gave a soft, contented sigh.  Tao smiled as he looked over at her.  "You know, there are pictures in the stars," he told her.

Miren raised an eyebrow as she glanced over at him.  "Pictures," she repeated.

Tao nodded and went over to where she was seated.  She had chosen a spot a short distance from the sheltering branches of the tree, a perfect spot to look up at the endless sky, and was leaning back on her elbows.  He seated himself beside her and pointed up at the sparkling firmament.  "You see that bright blue one, in the center of that line of stars?"

Miren tamped down the little tingling feelings that started in her belly as he sat down close to her.  Instead she followed his gaze and spotted the star, shining like a small blue jewel.  "Yes."

"Now follow the line of the stars beside it.  See how they sweep down to the right, like a tail?  And the lines above it make something like a triangle?"

Miren nodded.

"They say that that is a dragon, and that he was put up there to serve as a guardian.  The bright blue star is his eye, always watching the earth below, and the lines are his body and wings."  Tao glanced at her and smiled.  "He keeps watch on the night and protects those who sleep."

Miren turned her head to look at him, smiling.  Their eyes met and Tao felt his heart skip a beat.  Miren's smile faded a bit, then simply became gentle.  "And what of those who do not sleep?" she asked softly.

Tao considered his answer for a moment.  He wanted to take advantage of the time they had with Dar away for the night (he had a sneaking suspicion that was precisely Dar's intention), but he also didn't want to push.  For that matter, he wasn't entirely sure  what he wanted -- or, more importantly, what Miren wanted.  She had been hurt and that she would wish for what their earlier kiss seemed to indicate was difficult to believe.  But what was far harder to believe, given Tao's past experiences, was that she would want it with  him.  Unless he was simply convenient.

Miren frowned at his silence.  "Tao?"

The scholar shook his head.  "Miren . . . what do you want?"

Her frown continued.  "What do you mean?"  She had thought it was fairly obvious what she wanted.

Tao sighed and changed his stance so that his arms wrapped about his bent knees.  "What do you want to have happen here, tonight?  What . . . what happened by the river?  What do you want?"

Miren sat up, beginning to understand now.  It wasn't enough for Tao for it to happen -- he needed to know why she wanted it, that he wasn't forcing her as others had, if only in a different way.  She considered her words carefully.  "I want to know what it is to be touched with caring, not simple need.  I want to know that it is possible, as it must be.  I want to know what it is to be with someone without fear and pain . . . .  I  need to know."  She shook her head.  "I escaped from the Terrons in body.  I refuse to let them continue to enslave my mind and soul."

Tao nodded, but it was not relief she saw in his eyes.  It was hurt.  "So . . . the sooner the better.  Why not choose Dar?  He's more of a warrior, the type that you would have faced before.  Unless that's part of it . . ."  Bitterness tinged his words.  "What am I saying?  Of course it is.  Better to start with someone like me."

Miren stared at him as he let out a bitter chuckle, completely taken by surprise.  Thoughts created a whirlwind in her mind as she tried to figure out his meaning.  "Tao -- what are you --  Have I shown any interest in Dar?  You're the one I've spoken with, laughed with, the one who's made me smile.  Of course it's you I want."

Tao nodded, but the hurt was diminished only slightly.  Suddenly the reasons were shifting -- not what he had first feared, but no better for that change.  "You're grateful," he said, too quietly.

"Yes, but --"  Miren froze as the import of his words and expression hit her.  Her expression grew stony, her eyes abruptly shuttered. "You think that I wish to . . . to repay you?  With my body?"  She pushed away from the ground, standing with some difficulty due to the roundness of her belly.  "A Terron whore, in the camp and outside of it.  Is that what you think me?"

Tao looked up, startled by her words, and shook his head vehemently.  "No!  Never!"  But Miren had turned and started to walk away from him.  He stood and went after her urgently.  "Miren!  That's not what I said, not what I meant!"

She stopped and turned to face him, her eyes flashing in the moonlight.  "Then what  did you mean?  What did you think?"  Tao froze as he realized that the glow in her eyes came from tears.  "Damn you -- do you think this is easy for me?  That I could make this request of anyone but a man I cared for and trusted?!  Someone I  wanted?"

Tao stared at her.  He shook his head and tried to remember how to speak.  "No," he managed finally.  "It's just . . . I can't . . ."

Miren frowned.  "Can't . . .?" she repeated into the silence of his pause.  Confusion and uncertainty filled her eyes, making her look terribly young.  "Do you not desire me?"

Tao was startled into an answer.  "Gods, Miren, of course I do!"  He stopped, blushed, and continued quietly, "How could I not?  You're . . . well . . ."

Miren shook her head.  "Then what can you not do?"

The answer was dragged out of him as if against his will.  "I can't understand . . . why you would want me."  He sighed and shook his head, then repeated what he had told Milina.  "It's been my experience that women don't . . . seem to take to me."

Miren stared at him, as taken aback as she had been moments before.  After a long moment, she spoke the thoughts that had blasted into her mind at his words.  "Then the women you have known," she said ardently, "have all been idiots."

Tao's eyes had left her face at his admission, out of pain and fear of her response.  Her answer took him by surprise and his eyes snapped back up.  Miren looked back at him, complete honesty in her eyes.  Then she took a step forward and spoke softly but sincerely.

"You are wise and clever and brave, and beautiful and sweet and kind.  You make me laugh, and think, and smile."  She paused, trying to put into words things she had never allowed herself to think through, let alone imagine when she was still a captive.  "You make me dream, Tao.  I haven't done that in a very long time, even when I first escaped.  Any woman who does not see those things about you is not worthy of your attention and even less so of your heart."

Tao blushed and started to protest.  Miren took a firm grip on her courage, stepped forward, and silenced him with a kiss.  It was as soft as it had been at the river and grew stronger, as it had then, as Tao's shock faded and he allowed himself to respond.  When she pulled away, his eyes were dazed.

Miren's were not much clearer but, her voice a bit husky, she said, "I want you to lie with me, Tao.  I want  you.  Not because you're a man who's been kind to me, not because you're a man who helped rescue me -- because you're  you."

Tao stared down at her and finally let himself believe what he knew she said as truth.  He raised a hand and cradled her face gently.  "I am honored," he said simply, and kissed her.

The kiss stayed soft this time, as Tao strove to show her exactly how much this -- and she -- meant to him.  Miren let out a soft sound against his mouth and he pulled her into his arms, holding her gently so as to not call up bad memories, his hands sliding into the cool mass of her hair to curve behind her head.  He hadn't done this in far too long, but he remembered every touch that had given pleasure to his previous loves, few though they had been, and repeated them now, determined to give Miren what she had been deprived of all this time.

He forced himself to release her sweet mouth and moved his lips across her face to gently kiss her forehead, eyes and cheeks before moving down to her jaw and then her neck.  Miren let out a little gasp that turned into a sigh as his mouth placed butterfly-light kisses along the sensitive tendons on first one side of her neck and then the other, her hands moving from where they had lain against his arms up towards his shoulders.  His touch was so exquisitely gentle, as if she was breakable, or the most precious thing in the world.  It brought a warm flush all over her body, and seemed to center in her chest.

Then he pulled away and she opened her eyes dazedly, in confused disappointment.  Tao smiled down at her sweetly, gently, and brushed her cheeks with the backs of his fingers in a soft caress.  His voice as soft as his touch, he asked, "Miren . . . will you let me make love to you?"

Miren blinked, confused for a moment by the term.  Slowly the difference filtered through to her, the new importance of the act, the tenderness that would be in it.  She blinked again, to clear her eyes of tears this time, and found her voice frozen in her throat.  So she nodded instead, slowly, fighting the sudden wave of uncertainty.  But Tao seemed to see it in her eyes.

"We don't have to," he said gently.

But Miren shook her head.  "I want to," she whispered.  To something of her surprise, she found that she really meant it.  This wasn't just to rid herself of demons -- this was something that, for the first time, she wanted to share with someone.  Wanted to share  herself with someone.  With him.

Tao smiled softly at her and kissed her lips gently.  "If at any time you wish to stop, just tell me."

Miren smiled at the novelty of that offer.  "Thank you."  Then she raised herself up slightly on her toes, her hands going behind his head to pull him down for a kiss.  She would not wish to stop -- she was quite certain of that.  She quickly found she was right.

The reader here has a choice between sticking with an R rating or detouring briefly into NC-17.
Chapter Four has both a Version A, which contains the full love-scene,
and a Version B, which summarizes somewhat.

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