Where The Heck Is My Thing-A-Ma-Jig?
I wrote this strange little poem last year after doing my spring cleaning. I found, or more accurately, found that I couldn’t find, certain things. It was really strange. I had lost my best trousers, my Linda La Plante books, and an old bag of wool that I had been saving to crochet the cat a new blanket. What an odd assortment of things to lose. To this day, I don’t know where they are! It’s like I’ve had some sort of peculiar burglar come in and steal them, though I can’t imagine what they would to with them, especially the wool. Since then, I can’t shake the feeling that other things are missing, too, but I can’t quite put my finger on what they are. So, if you happen to find my Thing-A-Ma-Jig, will you please mail it home to me. I can’t offer a reward, but I can offer my heart-felt thanks. Have you ever had an eerie experience that you would like me to write a poem about?
Where The Heck Is My
Thing-A-Ma-Jig?
By Amanda Jay Clark.
Where the heck is my
Thing-A-Ma-Jig?
It was next to the Thing-A-Ma-Bob.
I need it now so desperately,
Nothing else will do for the job.
I’ve searched every kitchen cupboard,
Under the fridge, and the washing machine.
I found some things I’d lost years ago,
But no Thing-A-Ma-Watzit was seen.
I moved on to the
dinning room,
And looked under every chair.
I checked underneath the table,
But I didn’t find it there.
It wasn’t in the wall unit,
Or in the cutlery drawer.
I knew it wouldn’t be with the table cloths,
Cos I’d looked there once before.
I put my hand down the
back of the sofa,
Searched the stand that the TV sits on.
But my wonderful What-D’ya-Ma-Call-It,
Was well and truly gone.
On my knees, I rolled back the carpet.
Looked behind the pictures on the wall.
But I still wasn’t able to find it.
It was not in the lounge at all.
Nothing but clothes in my wardrobe,
And the drawer with my delicate stuff.
It wasn’t hiding under the bed,
There was nothing under there, but fluff.
I even checked the plug hole,
In the bath, and in the sink.
I started to think it would be easier,
To find the missing link.
I emptied out the
broom closet,
But found nothing in there but brooms.
It was no good searching any more,
I’d run right out of rooms.
I think that it has been stolen.
I should probably call the cops.
But it’s quicker to buy another one,
So I’m off now to the shops.
Where The Heck Is My Thing-A-Ma-Jig? is protected by copyright, and remains the property of the author, Amanda Jay Clark.