Still Can't Diet!
It’s still a very familiar story. If you’re fat, you’re stupid and have no feelings, - right? Wrong. But for those of us who suffer from weight problems, we have to put up with being ridiculed in very cruel ways on an almost daily basis. If we were alcoholics, or drug addicts, we would get help with our addiction, and understanding from those who love us. But, us fatties are an ever ready target. So, what can we do? We can either cry, and let the cruel ones win, or we can laugh. I say, laugh. This is the second poem about dieting I have included in my collection, and it comes from my ability to laugh at myself before the others do. Enjoy. Why not let me know about some of the comments you’ve received about your weight, and we can laugh with each other, rather than at each other.
Still
Can’t Diet!
By Amanda Jay Clark.
I had
diet for breakfast, and diet for dinner.
This time I’ll make it, this time be a winner.
I’ve lost three pound already, maybe four,
That’s a good start, but I want to lose more.
I’ll have men at my feet when I’m gorgeously
slim,
Not a spare ounce of flesh on any limb.
Women will hate me with jealous displeasure,
As soon as I look like a million pound treasure.
Oh no, here it comes, the big temptation,
I’m going to fail. No more elation.
Someone’s walked past eating fish and chips,
There’s others with ribs and barbecue dips.
I don’t think I’ll have diet for tea.
The fantasy’s over, no slimming for me.
My stomach is growling with savage appetite.
Only a three course meal can put that right.
I’ll have soup as a starter, followed by roast.
All washed down with a gin and tonic toast.
For afters, I thought meringue would be nice,
With more gin and tonic, and a slimming cube of ice.
If there’s still room, I’ll have crackers and
cheese,
And if I still have hunger to appease,
I’ll eat after dinner mints until they’re all
gone.
What a fabulous meal to feast upon.
With stomach full, actually brimming,
And although it wasn’t slimming,
I don’t sit here with too much sorrow,
I can start my diet again tomorrow.
I’ve been saying that for twenty years,
And shed about a million tears.
But what the heck, I like my food,
Deprivation puts me in a bad mood.
So, to keep on trying, is pure folly.
I’ll be content to stay fat and jolly!
Still Can’t Diet, is protected by copyright, and remains the property of the author, Amanda Jay Clark.
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