The Mischievous Puppy

Thanks to Pirate for the pictures.

The Mischievous Puppy.
By Amanda Jay Clark.

I’m a mischievous little puppy dog,
Who loves to play and run.
My owner says I’m naughty,
But she means it all in fun.
I'm not sure what my name is,
But I think it might be, No,
Cos that’s what people shout at me,
Everywhere I go.
No, don’t do this, and don’t do that,
They yell out loud and clear.
I tuck my tail between my legs,
And run and hide in fear.
But, I don’t hide for very long,
Too many adventures to be had,
So many things that need exploring,
For me to stay cooped up, and sad.
I’m not sure what my breed is.
I’m a mix of this and that.
My mum and dad were mongrels, too,
And I’m what they begat.
My tail looks like a foxes brush,
My ears are long, and floppy.
My big brown eyes look awfully sad,
And make my face seem soppy.
My coat is short and rather course,
In shades of brown and black,
With a small white spot near the tip of my nose,
So you can pick me out of the pack.
I try to stand up tall and proud,
But my legs are still weak, and bandy,
Except for the fifth one that hides under my tail,
That one makes me feel rather randy!
Although I’m a pup of a tender age,
I can’t wait until I meet,
The owner of that smell I keep sniffing,
Cos I know it’s a bitch on heat.
So, I carefully mark my territory,
Spraying my wee all around.
I’m leaving that lady a message,
To let her know where I can be found.
I have a long and dangly tongue,
That loves to lick and taste.
As soon as my food is before me,
I gobble it down post-haste.
When I kiss my owner to thank her,
For the delicious food I’ve just had,
She giggles, but turns her face away,
Cos my breath smells really bad.
She scratches my ears, and pats my head,
Rubs my back, my chin, and my belly,
Which gets me all over excited,
And suddenly, the air is smelly!
Cos a big bottom-cough escapes through my bum,
While she plies me with wonderful fuss.
At this point, even my owner agrees,
That a big waggy tail is a plus.
I swish it backwards, and forward,
At high speed to clear the air.
I create such a strong velocity,
That my fleas are shot everywhere.
My owner screams in shock and horror.
I leap to cuddle her with my paws.
But I only end up making her more angry,
As I catch her posh frock with my claws.
To apologise for her anger,
We go for an afternoon walk,
Where she shows me off to all of her friends,
And uses some very strange baby talk!
"Errs a g’boy, ‘es oo are, ‘es oo are,
Who’s mummy’s pwide and joy?
Mummy find you a tweat soon as we get home,
Cos ‘ees been such a vewy good boy!"
In my very best puppy dog accent,
I talk back to my mother.
I say, "We may not speak the same language lady,
But we sure understand one another!"
I pee, which strangely excites her.
Cos when I peed on the sofa at home,
She didn’t seem over excited then,
As she cursed and scrubbed at the foam.
After peeing, I still wasn’t empty,
So I stooped down and unloaded some poop.
I think that it must have been valuable,
Cos mother picked it back up in a scoop.
Once home, my treat wasn’t what I’d expected.
A thick steak? I had been full of hope.
I won’t go into all the horrific details,
But it involved a tin bath, and some soap!
I paid her back, no mistaking.
As she worked the shampoo to a froth,
I shook hard and soaked her all over,
Before she could rub me down with a cloth.
Then things got even more frightening.
I was scared that I would catch on fire,
As she brushed and blowed at my dripping fur,
With a powerfully big hair dryer.
After that, I’m completely exhausted,
So with a yawn and a sleepy whine,
I’m about to curl up and fall asleep,
So I can show you some dreams of mine.
When I grow up, I want to be ferocious,
So I can be one of those dogs that keep watch,
And if some thug tries to steal what I’m guarding,
I’ll bite him hard, right on his crotch!
I could be one of those dogs that chase sheep,
And help herd them into a pen.
If I’m really lucky, I’ll get my fair share,
When they are eaten my women, and men.
If I grow up to be really clever,
I could help to guide the blind.
If there’s a career I could do that’s more worthy,
Then it’s a job that I can’t find.
But for now, I’m perfectly happy,
To just be a family pet.
Being cuddled and fussed all over,
And taking all the food I can get.
Being taken for walks in the sunshine,
And kept safe and warm every night.
Some people say, "It’s a dogs life."
I say, "It’s a dogs life, and that’s all right!"

The Mischievous Puppy, is protected by copyright, and remains the property of the author, Amanda Jay Clark.

©

Author of Rhyme "N" Reason

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