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Religion is like farting: we like our own
but hate everyone elses.
-Homer Simpson
The worst moment for the athiest is when
he is really thankful
and has nobody to thank.
A woman is the most fiendish instrument
of torture ever devised to
bedevil the days of man. - Some Crazy Guy
The Most wasted of all days is one without Laughter.
You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one
calorie, not evil enough.
-Dr. Evil
The more you sweat in peacetime the less you bleed in war.
Yeah I do want to have kids someday and
I would show them everything.
I wouldn't hold anything back from them. I think if you show kids reality
and stop trying to protect them from it, then they can handle it.
-Maylin Manson
B-Basic
I-Instructions
B-Before
L-Leaving
E-Earth
If you place a frog in boiling water, it
will jump right back out. But if
you put the frog in cold water and heat it gradually, it will sit there and
slowly roast alive.
Dealing with the inevitible is sometimes
the harshest reality.
If god does not exist, one loses nothing
by believing in him anyway, while
if he does exist, one stands to lose everything by not believing.
- Blaise Pascal
When the game is over, the king and the pawn go into the same box.
Well kids, you tried your best and you
failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
-Homer Simpson
Love is a perky little elf dancing a merry
little jig and then, suddenly,
he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.
-Matt Groening
Son, when you participate in sporting events,
it's not whether you win
or lose: it's how drunk you get.
-Homer Simpson
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons,
for you are crunchy and taste
good with ketchup.
Life is not counted by the amount of breaths
we take, but of the
moments that leave us breathless.
Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot
pool with a rope.
-Monty Burns
The girls that are always easy on the eyes are never easy on the heart.
Fear less, hope more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Hate less, love more;
And all good things are yours.
We cannot really love anybody with whom
we never laugh.
-Agnes Repplier
Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its
troubles; it empties today
of its strength.
-JRR Tolkien
Every Saint has been a Sinner.
-Michele Lewis
The trek upward is worth the inconvenience.
-Morya Khan
Last Update: March 08, 2003
© January 2003 BanjoBarry®/Barry Lewis All Rights Reserved.