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Home remedies
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Some short writings on various topics, taken from David's language arts
assignments
David's Home Remedies - David was asked,
"If someone would open your back-to-basics home-cure manual, what treatment
would it prescribe for common ailments such as headaches, toothaches, warts and
the flu?" See what he came up with. Warning - I wouldn't
actually try these.

Alien Armageddon - A myth by David Shealy
Click on the title to view David's latest story, then click the "back"
button on your browser to return here.

When asked the question, "Why should we respect the
flag?".......
I think we should respect our flag because it represents us. If we use it for a
rag, we're basically saying our country is an old worthless rag. Our flag is
also really old, about 200 or so, and you know the old saying, "respect
your elders." Those are a few of the reasons I say we should respect the
flag.
I think that if we respect our flag, we respect Betsy Ross. If we respect
Betsy Ross, we make ladies look good. The flag also went through wars, and we
respect war heroes, so we should respect the flag.
If the flag were a "who" instead of a "what", it would be
smarter than Einstein, because it saw wars, documents, and other important
events. So we should respect our grand old flag.

Superman vs. the Cheesinator
One day in the city of Gothem, the chief of police ran to Batman's office to
warn him about the Cheesinator's big jail break. Suddenly, he saw the
Cheesinator jump out a window! Robin suddenly dashed outside to tell the chief
that a piece of cheese was sitting at Batman's desk. The chief asked Superman,
"Can you help us get the Cheesinator?"
Superman replied, "Sure!", flew over and defeated the Cheesinator, and
the only boo-boo was a cheesey cape. Robin later found Alfred eating cheese at
Batman's desk! Oh no - poor Batman!!

A Letter to a new pen pal
Dear Pen Pal,
My name is David James Shealy. I have the usual type of family; a mom, a dad, a
small annoying brother, a younger sister, and a fish. I highly love science
fiction, and some monster movies now and then. I am a bit sensitive for a kid my
age, and love cute little puppy dogs. Do you like dogs too? Are you as big a
joker? If so, I think we'll be good pals.

"Write a different ending to Cinderella from the first-person
point of view."
I was just re-twigging my dam, and suddenly I saw pirates coming in on
surfboards! I could've sworn that I heard them planning to steal Cinderella's
magic slippers. I was a greedy little critter then, so I stopped their plan, but
nobody saw me do it! AHHHH!

The Pluto Mission
by David Shealy
Nov. 3, 1998
My name is David James Shealy, but you can call me Dave. I just woke up from
a year and a few months of hibernation. I checked my air, brushed my teeth and
all that stuff. After I ate, me and my team began our mission. We launched a
probe, checked Pluto’s temperature, and we landed on the planet. I was amazed
at the fact that we travelled 3,545,000,000 miles from Earth! We found that the
atmosphere was made of methane and a gas our scanners couldn’t identify. We
found one natural satellite named Charon. They are probably named that because
they are both cold and dead. Pluto was the Roman god of the underworld, and
Charon rowed souls across the river Styx. The thought makes me shiver, or maybe
it’s the cold. Our surveyors said that Pluto is 4,800 kilometers around. We
tried to play baseball (to test gravity), but we failed due to Pluto’s
gravitional pull is 0.04 of Earth’s. When the pitcher through the ball, it
went flying out of the atmosphere! Mission control said we shouldn’t make a
colony on Pluto because of how cold it is, and Santa would only visit every 248
years (that’s one Pluto year). A day is 6.4 Earth days.
After dinner we did more experiments, refueled, and said “bye-bye” to
Pluto and Charon. Mission control said someone else could explore Charon. Before
we went to sleep, we talked a while, then did stuff like brushing our teeth. We
woke up when it was time to land on Earth. Even though we were sleepy still, we
got through landing and were greeted by a man who said he was the president. He
must have been elected while we were sleeping. A few weeks later I found my team
in the Bahamas, and we sat down to drink birch beer.

Aug. 14, 1998 David was interested in learning about Hitler and the nazis. He
did some self-study and watched several shows on The History Channel. Here's his
final opinion paper.
Question: Who was Adolf Hitler? What did he do? What do you think about him?
Adolf Hitler was the meanest president of Germany, at least in his
adulthood. But in his childhood, he had it very rough. He didn't have it so good
in school. His best goal was becoming an artist. When he got closer to being an
artist, which his father would not stand for, he got caught up in politics.
After he learned about politics, he made his rise to power. Then he got
corrupt about his power. The reason he got everyone to vote for him was the fact
that everyone in Germany wanted Germany to be more powerful. In other words, he
told everyone that he would make the country more powerful. When he won the
election, he made all kinds of lies about Jews. Hitler also said only people who
had blonde hair and blue eyes were true Germans. Due to he hated Jews, he'd make
Jews wear yellow stars on their shirt, so everyone would treat them badly. Even
worse, he started sending Jews to concentration camp. Concentration camp started
as a prison where Jews went to rot in jail. Then it became a place where the
people who were young and/or old enough would work while they killed the women,
children, and weak or old. Near the end of WWII Hitler committed suicide to
avoid capture!
I myself think he was the cruelest man in Germany. Most people that weren't
Nazis thought he wasn't that nice, especially Jews. Ditto for me. Still, I can
see why he decided to die a quick, painless death instead of being captured by
America, which he probably thought would be painful. Serves him right!
Books I read: The Importance of Adolf Hitler; Hear, O Israel; Rose Blanche;
When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit.

Mission to Mars
by David
Mission log: We’ve just escaped Earth’s atmosphere. In three minutes
we’ll make our jump to hyperspace. “Commander Ben, report.”
“Huh? What do you mean, ‘report’? I don’t watch Star Trek!” Ben
answered in a slightly irritated voice.
“I mean, where are we?” I asked.
“Oh, ha ha! Sorry. We just passed Mercury.”
“How far till Mars, Commander?”
“Just 659 light years away, sir,” Ben answered.
“Better make the jump to light speed,” I ordered. “Another thing,
Commander.”
“Yes, Captain David?” (I’m the Captain.)
“How long will we be in hyperspace?” I asked.
“Just two minutes, sir.”
“Good,” I responded, “get ready to go. On my mark: one, two, Mark!”
EEEERRRR - POW! So we went into hyperspace. On the way we used our
experimental animals, but we got a little carried away, and the ship turned
around without us noticing it. By the time we got out of hyperspeed, we found
that we were heading for the Sun!!!
“We don’t have enough fuel to change course, Captain!”
“Transfer fuel from the cargo bay tanks to the main engines, and steer us
away from the sun toward Earth,” I ordered.
Commander Ben responded that that was a good idea, because we only have
enough fuel to return to Earth. We finally got back to Earth, even though we
didn’t make it to Mars.
Part 2
Megacruiser VII, mark X. If we hadn’t tried again to find Mars, we’d have
lost our careers as astronauts. So, we blasted off. We’ve been in space for
eleven months, twenty days, twelve hours and ten minutes. We’re just about out
of fuel; our fuel that isn’t in use is a bathtub’s- worth. Ben was getting
more worried by the hour. Then we saw a planet. I asked the computer to run a
scan.
“Population - zero. Elements: solid nitrophobin.” That’s the same
element that our fuel is! We turned it into fuel and our tanks were full. We
found Mercury and we mistook it for Mars. We wondered why we saw Mercury bubbles
all over. So, after we claimed it, we journeyed to Earth.
The trip was a real challenge. We never had to miss a meal. Space ice cream
isn’t as good as Earth ice cream, but we did fine.
End log.
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