this is my music
Retrospect
this song was written about another girl i met at the salty dog named Natalie. she was there to see a friend of hers play at the open mic that night. she stayed to hear me play. so i got her phone number and called her and we went to lunch a couple of times. she seemed like she had a better relationship with God than i did. thats part of the idea behind this song. am i good enough for her? was she put there to challenge me? i just didnt feel adequte to be a spiritual leader in her life. i was chastised by my friend for thinking this way. in the end she told me she didnt want to date. she was still trying to heal from a long term relationship that ended suddenly the year before. This song here marks the beginning of our friendship. I wrote another one that marks the end - Porchlight.

on this night i wouldn't expect
to meet someone that doesnt reject
and so now i must reflect
on our time with circumspect

was i just one of the elect
to be placed with you to connect
or are you the next thing in my life
to make me more like christ

over life i ponder
wondering what lies beyond here
eager to  move onto
bigger and better things

now this developes before me
who am i to ingore the
goodness of my lord he
for my sake has brought this
beauty into my life

        destination is her view
        and she sees the end to come
        too much love to be received
        too much heart to not fill the need

        desperation leads me here
        and i'm wondering who i am
        too much wrong to receive it
        too much good to deny it

my conscience is upon me
who am i to fondly
look at you for godly
companionship and trust

you deserve a better man
turn away and let me stand
alone with my guilt in hand
save yourself from me

        cause you need more than what i can give
        i need more than you posses
        are we happy where we live
        to this truth i can not confess

now alone i sit and wait
wondering what will it take
after all these prayers i've prayed
i wanting to hear from you

but all that i can hear you say
is patiently wait on me today
fall down at my feet and stay
this is my one request

        cause you need all that i have
        she needs all of me to live
        together you can search and find
        the true happiness i give
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1