Summery: The guys of Schwarz mysteriously turn into women...how will they cope?!It was a beautiful day, full of sunshine and fresh dew sprinkled on the lawn. Red robins sang in the lush, green trees outside the Schwarz mansion while, inside, the four members slept soundly on their day off. The paper boy rode by on his bike, tossing a wrapped up newspaper on the porch with a thwack. Suddenly the peaceful silence was is interrupted by a loud, almost painful sounding alarm clock.
Brad: (*Snort* Jerking awake with eye lids half closed) Whu? (*Snort*, hair all messed up with a huge cowlick in front held up by his drool) I'm up...I'm up...I'm up... (Throwing the alarm clock across the room)
He gets up slowly and drags himself into the bathroom before relieving himself and staring into the mirror. That morning there was something a little bit different about his appearence.
Brad: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!The scream can be heard for miles around and, down the street, as the paper boy turn around to see what made the awful noise, a double decker Charter Bus smashes him to smithereens.
Elderly woman on side of the road who has no other line in the Fanfic except this one: Tsk Tsk...Youth these days...Watch too much Jackass...Schu: (Jerking awake from a really raunchy dream) GAAAA!
Farf: (Tied upside down in the basement) Death to thee who wakist me up so damn early.
Nagi: (Mumbles in sleep) Tot....(Mumble mumble mumble)
Back in his room, Brad almost faints in his discovery but forces himself to run out into the hallway connecting all the other group member's rooms.
Brad: I HAVE BOOBS!!Fifteen minutes later the rest of the group is sitting around the table. Each other member has discovered what had happened to them during the night. As Brad silently sobs in his chair, Schu checks himself out in a full length mittor, Farf continuously pokes himself, and Nagi complains that he's only an A cup.
Nagi: I could have at least been a B...but NooooOOOoooo I'm an A...I don't even think that I could fill a training bra...(Pout)
Schu: (Grinning) I'm a C!!
Farf: (Poke poke) I don't like them!! (Poke poke)
Brad: (*Sob*)
Schu: (Looking away from the mirror) It's not that bad Crawford. We already phoned Kritiker, they said it was a painless mistake and that it should be fixed in a few days. (Points to his boobs)
Brad: (*SOB*) That's not it!!
Schu: (Raising an eyebrow)
Farf: (Pauses for a minute) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Jumps up and runs out of the room in terror)
Brad: (Watching him through teary eyes) SEE!! Even the retarded albino figured it out before you.
Schu: (Not understanding) I don't...
Nagi: Oh My God....
Schu: (Eyes widen) You mean...
Brad: (*Nods*)
Schu: (Looks down "there") NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Nagi: (White and completely freaked out) I'm a GIRL!
Somewhere in the background we can hear Farfarello scream and then the bathroom door being forced open.
Farf: (Running into the kitchen again, looks around at everyone, before fainting on the floor)
Nagi: (Raises an eyebrow) What's his worry, like he's ever needed to use it. It's not like he's ever done it before.
Schu: Like you've ever did it before. Do you even know what IT means?
Nagi: (Crinkles face up) I'm not 8 years old, stupid face!
Schu (O.o): What did you just call me?!
Nagi: (Telepathically picks up a few kitchen knives and flings them at Schu who sucessfully dodges each one of them)
Brad: (Stands up and heads for a bottle of Asprin) This job is going to kill me. (In a strained voice) I'm going to die a young, rich, handsome guy at the age of 27.
Schu: Ew don't flatter yourself, Crawford. You're not THAT good looking.
Nagi: (Under his breath) I'm the cutest.
Schu: I heard that monkey-boy.
Nagi: (Sticks out tongue) Well I am. Everyone loves the little, cute teenager with the difficult heart-wrenching past. It gives them something to connect to. Cause they can't connect with a big-old lame-ass who can tell the future, or an insane freak, or some $5 dollar man-whore.
Everyone: (Except poor Farfie who's still lying on the cold floor) WHAT?!
Nagi: (Covers his mouth with his hands) Woops...did I say that outloud?
Schu: Oh your dead, Naoe.
Brad: You get his feet...
Nagi: Nooooo! AHHHHH! (Keeps them away with his powers and escapes to his room)
Brad: I'm going to strangle him in his sleep.
Schu: You can use my pillow...
On the floor, Farfarello starts to move again. He shakes his head hard to clear it out and stands up.
Farf: (Watches as Brad and Schu walk back into the room) I want some Fruit Loops!!
Brad: (Pout) AM I a "lame-ass"? (Starts crying)
Farf: Do we even have any Fruit Loops? (Being ignored)
Schu: No...no buddy (Puts his arm around Brad) Nah, Nagi was just being mean. You're a wonderful man.