Chapter12

                                                         To Be Desired
                                                           Chapter 12

I felt someone watching me. I opened my eyes and blinked slowly. Paul was lying next to me on his side propped on his elbow with his head in his hand. �Are you awake?� He whispered. I smiled. �No� I stage whispered back. He smiled. �See, I knew you�d say that� He whispered back. I shook my head. �Well, You just know everything don�t you� I whispered. �Why are we whispering?� He asked. �You started it.� I laughed. He laughed. I looked at the clock. 6:30pm. �Nell is going to get dinner...what do you want?� He asked in a normal speaking tone. �Where is he going?� I asked pulling sleep from my eyelashes. �Wherever you want.� He said. I looked at him. He shrugged. �He gets paid.� He said. I laughed. �OK� I said slowly. �I don�t want to make him go like 5 different places. What is everyone else getting?� I asked. He shrugged. �Ok, What are you getting?� I asked. He shrugged again. �I was going to see what everyone else was getting.� He said smiling. I shook my head and smiled. �You nit� I said pulling back the covers. Paul stood up. �I am not a nit� He said. I nodded. �Sure� I drawled standing up. He faked hurt. �I�m not� he said. I smiled and patted his head. �Of course not, Dear.� I said sarcastically. He looked up at my hand on his head. �If I �sit� do I get a Milk Bone?� He asked sarcastically. �Sure� I said. He sat down on the floor. I laughed. �Good Boy� I said in that voice, You know the one you use when you say certain things to dogs. I patted my thigh as I opened the door. �Come on, Boy� I said in that voice. Paul crawled through the door into the common room. I followed him to find everyone staring at us. I burst out laughing and doubled over. I couldn�t stop laughing and fell to my knees, sitting on my heels still doubled over. I finally stopped and stood up slowly before I started laughing again and put a hand over my mouth. I walked swayingly towards the couch. �That, was soooo funny� I said giggling. Everyone was looking at me. I coughed. �As you were� I said gesturing. Everyone looked away slowly and started conferring about what was for dinner.

I giggled. Paul sat down next to me with a smile on his face. �That was so funny� I repeated trying not to laugh. I don�t even know why it was funny...It just was. �Um Sorry, I don�t have a Milk Bone, I lied.� I said smiling. �That�s OK� He said smiling back. He grabbed my hand. �Come here� He said pulling my arm gently. I stood up and sat back down on his lap. I laid my head on his shoulder. I was still tired, I don�t know why. I never sleep this much. He slid his fingers slowly up my side. I started giggling and flinch towards him. I slapped his hand. �Stop it.� I said. Laying my head back down. �You don�t deserve a Milk Bone anyway.� I said. �Or maybe it�s that you DO deserve a Milk Bone.� I said thinking. He looked at me strangely. �Well, * I * Know what I mean.� I said laughing. He smiled. �You�re the only one.� He said. I shrugged. �It�s like that a lot you know.� I said shifting my body back farther. �Hmm?� He asked. �People don�t understand what I�m saying� I said. �I was just joking, Luv� He said. �I know, I meant everyone else.� I said. �What do you mean?� He asked confused. I shook my head. �What do you guys want?� John interrupted. �What are you guys getting?� Paul asked. I closed my eyes. �We were thinking about getting Pizza� John replied. �Pizza� I said with a fiendish giggle. I nodded. �Get pizza� I repeated. �You just had pizza� Paul said. I nodded with a wicked smile. �I Know� I said. He shook his head jokingly. �I love Pizza� I said. �Yeah OK, Just get pizza for everyone then.� Paul said. Neil nodded. �OK I�ll have to order it then� He said grabbing the phone book. I closed my eyes again leaning more deeply into Paul. �tired?� He said softly. � I guess� I said. �I don�t know why, I never sleep this much� I said. �Why don�t you go back to bed?� Paul said. I nodded drowsily. �OK� I said softly. �In a minute� I said not wanting to get up. Paul put his arms under my knees and arms and started to stand up. I put my hand on his arm. �That�s OK, I can walk.� I said moving my leg. �Of course you can� he said walking towards my room. �I can really� I said softly laying my head on his shoulder. He laid me on the bed. �Want me to wake you up for dinner?� He asked. I nodded. I was not going to sleep all through the night. �All right� He said. �Goodnight again� He said. �Goodnight� I said pulling the corner of the pillow to my face. �Thanks� I said looking at him with one eye. �Anytime� He said. I smiled and shook my head weakly. He left and shut the door. I snuggled into my pillow and fell asleep quickly.

�Wake up, Luv� Paul said softly shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes slowly. �Hi� I said looking at him standing next to my bed. �Hi� he said. �Pizza�s here, You want some?� He asked. I nodded and sat up. I kind of felt weird. Like a little achy. I stood up and swayed a bit. Paul grabbed my arm. �Are you OK?� He asked. I nodded. �Yeah� I said smiling. He smiled back and kissed me. I took his hand and leaned into him as we walked into the common room. I felt strange still. Their seemed like miles of pizza boxes on one of the tables. �God, enough pizza, guys?� I asked. Paul laughed. �Just watch� He said. I shook my head. �Sit down� He said pointing to the table that no one was sitting at. Everyone else was laying on couches and the floor surrounding the TV watching something pointless prolly. I sat down in the chair and looked out the window. It was dark a bit and you could see all the building lights and stuff it was really pretty. Paul came back with plates and set them on the table. �One sec.� he said. He walked out onto the balcony and came back.

�Want to sit outside?� He asked. I nodded and stood up. �Sure� I said. �It�s kinda cold, You might wanna change.� He said. I nodded �OK, Be right back� I said walking back to my room. I put on black sweat pants. The kind that flare out a bit at the bottom not the ecki cuff kind. I put on my red hooded sweatshirt over my shirt and slid my shoes on. I walked back out. Paul was staring out the glass door. I walked up behind him and put my hands over his eyes. �Uh....Sarah!� He said grabbing my hands and turning around. �You�re so good� I said. He nodded. �I know� He said jokingly. He handed me my plate and opened the glass door. I walked out. It was cool but it felt good. I sat down but the edge and slid my legs through the bars so they ere dangling off the edge. I shook the bars to see if they were safe and then leaned against them. Paul sat next to me and slid his legs through. I looked out over the city. �It�s really pretty� I said. �Yeah� He replied. Looking over to the big river. It looked awesome with the lights reflecting off it and everything.

I pulled the bottom corner off my cheese pizza and stuck it in my mouth. The cheese was really good. lol Nummy! I pulled pieces off and sat staring down below us. There were girls stuffed in the street waiting to see the Beatles. Or just their hotel I guess. but they couldn�t see us, we were too high up. I stuffed the crust in my mouth and leaned my forehead against the bars staring down below us. �Isn�t it great?� I asked. �what?� he asked looking at me. I pointed down. �All them� I said. �They all came to see you� I added. �Isn�t it great?� I repeated. �Yeah� he said. �Most the time, I guess� He said looking down at them all. �Sometimes it sucks though� he added. �It seems a good thing to me...but then again I�m just me� I said looking at them all down there. �What?� he asked. �I�m not a Beatle, how am I supposed to know.� I said. He nodded. �It all seems glamorous, but it�s not.� He said. �I think it�s all how you look at it really� I said. �You�re making a legacy, something that will live after you die. Everyone knows your name, You guys are still the biggest band in 2002, you�ve still sold the most albums ever. Isn�t that wicked?� I asked. �It would blow my mind away� I said. �Oh, It does� He said. �But sometimes you don�t believe it, Like we�ll wake up someday.� He said. I shook my head. �It�s so crazy being here� I said. He slid his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. He took a deep breath and looked out across the river. I slid my arm around him and hugged him one-armedly. �We hafto leave tomorrow morning at like 7:30� Paul said. I nodded. �OK� I said. �Where are we going?� I asked. �Denver, Colorado� He said. I nodded. �Cooli� I said. It was starting to get a bit cold. �Let�s go inside� He said standing up.

I pulled my legs up slowly and stood up. He opened the door and held it for me. I walked back inside and warmed up immediately. I sat down in front of the couch John and George were sitting on. Paul sat down next to me and handed me a bottle of Dr. Pepper. �Thanks� I said. �Anytime� He said. �What are we watching?� I asked Ringo who was on the couch next to me. �No clue.� He said. I nodded. I pulled my knees up and wrapped one arm around them. I watched this dumb sitcom for awhile until Brian walked in. �Everyone, We hafto be out the door by 7:20 tomorrow morning.� Brian said walking into the middle. � We cannot be late, We have to catch a plane to Denver for the afternoon performance.� He added. Everyone grunted in agreement. Brian looked at his watch. �I�ll be downstairs if anyone needs me.� He said walking towards the door. �OK� Ringo said as Brian walked out and shut the door. After awhile I started to nod off again. �I�m going to bed.� I announced standing up. Paul stood up next to me. �Will you guys get out of the way.� George said looking beyond Paul�s body. I stepped quickly to the side, Paul followed me. I walked to my room and started pulling my shoes off. I pulled my sweatshirt over my head a bit until it caught on my head. I yanked on it to come off. Paul pulled it over my chin and slipped it off my head. I started laughing. �Thanks� I said. He shook his head jokingly, smiling. I yawned slowly and blinked my eyes. �You should go to bed� Paul said. �Yes, Dad� I said sarcastically. He looked down at me. I flinched. �I�m just kidding, Paulie� I said jokingly sincere. He smiled sweetly. I shook my head, sliding my arms around his neck and hugging him. He slid his arms around my waist. I laid my cheek on his shoulder and we stood like that. After a while Paul took a small step back. �Tomorrow, Meet us in the common room at around 7 OK?� He asked as I pulled my hands off his neck. �Aye-Aye captain� I said saluting. He smiled. �Goodnight, Sarah� He said putting his hands on my upper arms. �Goodnight, Paulie� I said softly as he moved closer and kissed me. I tilted my head up as he slipped his tongue in my mouth and slid it along my teeth. I slid my arms partially around his neck. I pulled my head back so I could breathe and smiled as I slid my hand through his hair. I gave him a small kiss and moved back a couple inches. �Night� I said. He smiled widely. �G�night� He said stepping towards the door. I slid under the covers as the door shut quietly. I traced my bottom lip slowly and smiled wider. I soon fell asleep to the sound of soft chatter in the next room.

I awoke to my alarm buzzing as I flung my hand across the bed and hit the �off� button. I sat up slowly and moaned. I had an awful headache. I touched my temple softly and stood up. My knees buckled a bit before I caught myself and walked slowly to the bathroom. I felt achy, I turned on the shower and got my shower stuff. I walked back out of the common room to find aspirin while the shower warmed up. No one was there. I walked to Paul�s door and touched the knob. I pulled my hand back and turned around. I didn�t want to wake him up. I went back to my room and searched the bathroom. Nothing. I got in the shower hopping it would help a bit. It didn�t really. I got dressed in my dark jeans and my pink spaghetti strap shirt. I pulled my DVS�s on and brushed my hair down to let it air dry. I packed all my things and searched the room one last time to make sure I hadn�t forgotten anything. By the time I was done I heard life in the common room and walked through the door struggling with my cases and dropped them by Paul�s next to the couch. Everyone was eating toast and tea. I sat down next to Paul. I put my elbow on the table and leaned my head onto my hand.

�Good-...What�s wrong?� Paul asked when he turned to me. �I have an awful headache.� I explained. �You wouldn�t happen to have aspirin or anything would you?� I added. �Yeah� He said standing up. �I�ll be right back� He said. I nodded. And filled up a mug of tea. I blew on it and took a sip. It felt really good, it warmed my body up. Paul set a little bottle in front of me. �Thanks� I said opening it and shaking out two pills. He nodded. I took an empty glass from the middle of the table and looked around for water. There wasn�t any on the table so I got up and walked into the closest room�s bathroom and filled it half way. I threw the pills in my mouth and downed the water. I brought the glass back and set it on the table heavily. I fell onto the couch and closed my eyes messaging my temples. Paul sat on the edge of the couch. �Are you all right?� He asked softly. �I�ll be OK� I said trying to smile for him. �Good morning, by the way� I said kissing his cheek and then letting my head fall back on the armrest. �Morning� He said smiling smally, unconvinced. Paul turned on the TV. He looked back at me from kneeling in front of the TV. �Is that too loud?� He asked. I shook my head, then stopped when I realized it hurt. He turned it down a notch and sat on the floor by my head. He watched me. I smiled my big cheesy smile showing all my teeth. I sat up slowly and looked at Paul. �Don�t sit on the floor� I said patting the couch. �No, You can lie down.� He said. I shook my head ignoring the pain. �Well, I�m staying here� I said leaning against the back of the couch. �You can either sit with me or sit over there on the floor, I don�t care� I said smiling evily He shook his head. �Stubborn� He said standing up and sitting next to me. I nodded. �Oh Yeah� I said leaning into him heavily and closing my eyes as I brought my legs up beside me on the couch. He put his arm around me and looked silently at the TV. Maybe it was my imagination but my head was starting to feel better. Just then Brian walked in. He stalked in and slammed the door shut. I flinched noticeably. Paul�s grip on me tightened.

�Watch it� Paul said to Brian in annoyance. �No, You watch it, Paul� Brian said as he dropped a newspaper on Paul�s lap. I moved away a bit as Paul unfolded it slowly. I gasped when I saw a picture of me and Paul there. The one that reporter had gotten at the back of the hotel. I was walking towards the car but looking back at Paul, we were both smiling. Paul was following me a few steps behind and you could totally see our hands locked together. The headline said �Paul McCartney wants to hold her hand� I shook my head. These sixties reporters are completely lame. I looked at Paul to see his reaction. He looked a bit mad. �So what?� Paul asked Brian looking at him defiantly as he tossed the paper to him. The other Beatles had gathered around and John took the paper from Brian. �You can not hold hands in public� Brian said looking directly at me. I raised my eyebrows, giving him a look like �excuse me?�. �It was my fault� Paul spoke up. �I didn�t see the reporter.� He added. �Of course you didn�t, Paul� Brian said turning his eyes back to Paul. Paul narrowed his eyes. �I guess you�ll just have to tell them the truth now, won�t you?� I asked smiling with a smart ass gleam in my eye. Brian looked completely angry, Paul had a tiny grin on his face, and the other Beatles were hanging around in back reading the article. Brian shook his head. �I can�t believe you let this happen, Paul� Brian said shaking his head. Paul stiffened, visibly upset. �I didn�t LET it happen.� Paul said loudly, the anger shown clearly on his face. I flinched at the noise and touched my head. It was starting to pound. �Oh, I�m sorry� Paul said softly, realizing I had flinched. I nodded smally and started messaging my temples. �I�m sick of this, Brian� Paul said softer but with anger and annoyance dripping off of every word. �If they don�t like it then screw them� He added, talking about the fans or whoever Brian was so worried about the �bad publicity� would affect. Brian sighed, defeated. �Fine� he said softly. �You�ll have to announce it at the press conference today.� He added. Paul smiled satisfied and nodded.

Brian looked at his watch. �Let�s go� He said walking towards the door. Everyone grabbed their bags and followed Brian. By the time we got to the elevator my arms felt like they were going to fall off and my head still hurt like hell. I dropped them as soon as the doors shut and clenched and unclenched my hands trying to make them not feel dead. I touched my head and leaned against the back of the elevator. Paul was watching me closely from across the elevator. The door dinged open and I grabbed my cases and followed them to the back of the hotel where a car was waiting to take us to the airport. I dropped my bags for the chauffer to get and climbed in the limo behind Paul. I sat next to him and leaned back in the seat closing my eyes. The car started driving towards the airport as the Beatles made conversation about...something I was so totally not listening. My head hurt immensely, my body felt achy, and my throat was starting to hurt. I was also very sleepy and drifted in and out of sleep the whole drive. We stopped in side of a giant airport and got out of the limo while Mal checked if any fans were there. We got into our plane fairly easily. I dropped into a window seat and starred out the window at the millions of fans waving signs and shouting. I turned to find Paul sitting next to me watching me.

�Are you OK, Luv?� He asked when I turned around. �You don�t look so good.� He said with concern. �Thanks� I said dryly. �I don�t feel so good either.� I replied. �Do you need anything?� He asked. I smiled �Are you going to wait on me?� I asked. �Sure� he said. I did a weak fiendish giggle. �I should get sick more often.� I said. He smiled. �Don�t do that.� He said. �Ok, I promise� I said sarcastically. �What do you want?� He asked. �A horse� I said. He looked at me. �I was kidding, See you said �what do you want?� And see I WANT a horse but,� I said trailing off. �Never mind� I said smiling. He nodded. �Dr. Pepper?� I asked with a look on my face. �OK, But you hafto wait til the plane takes off.� He said. �I was just kidding� I said. �You don�t hafto get me anything, I can get my own Dr. Pepper� I said. �No, I�ll get it.� He said. �No, I�ll get it� I argued very jokingly. He smiled and shook his head. �Do you hate it?� I asked. �What?� He said. �Do you hate it when I�m a smart ass?� I asked. �Naw� He said. �That�s one of the best things about you.� He added. I looked at him in shock. �Are you coming down with something too, Paulie?� I asked putting the back of my hand to his forehead. He smiled. �It is� He said. I shook my head. �I think you�re the first person to ever say that, ever� I said. He shook his head. �I�m sure I�m not� He said. �I�m sure you are.� I said. Then the flight attendant came in the front of the plane and gave his little speech about where the emergency doors were located and what to do in the event of a water landing. (He was kinda cute but he sounded totally gay.) I leaned in my chair after we got into the air. �I�ll go get you�re Dr. Pepper� Paul said sitting up. �No� I said sitting up. �I�ll get it� I said getting up. He put a hand on my shoulder. �No, I�ll get it.� I looked at him. �Let�s argue some more about it� I said. He stood up. �I�m getting it� He said. I shook my head. �Stubborn� I said. He nodded and smiled. I reclined in my seat a bit. Paul came back with a Dr. Pepper and a coke. I shook my head and smiled. He handed me the Dr. Pepper with a large phony waiter smile. I smiled back. �Thanks� I said. �Anytime� He said winking. I twisted the top off and sipped my Dr. Pepper. �What�s our schedule?� I asked. �We have a press conference later today, around 2 then we have an afternoon concert and an evening concert tonight. We�re having a party tonight after the concert � He said. I nodded. �Cooli� I said finishing off my Dr. Pepper. I reclined a bit more and lay my head back as I drifted into sleep.

�Luv� Paul said gently shaking me. I opened my eyes. �We�re here� He said. I nodded. I stood up and suddenly felt dizzy. I closed my eyes tightly and steadied myself on the chair as Paul was pulling his bag out of the compartment overhead. I grabbed my purse and followed him out of the plane. Paul grabbed my hand tightly as we were pushed through the crowd. I almost lost him once but thank god I found his hand again or I would�ve been killed. We all made it to the limo and drove slowly through the fans as they hurled themselves at our car. I leaned against Paul and closed my eyes. My head still hurt, I was achy, and dizzy, and my stomach was totally nauseous. I could feel Paul�s eyes boring holes into me. I opened one eye and looked at him. �Are you OK?� He asked. I shook my head weakly. �My stomach hurts, I feel dizzy and my head still hurts.� I said softly. He looked at me sympathetically and put the back of his hand against my forehead. �You have a fever.� He said matter of factly, pushing my hair out of my face. �Of course I do� I said. We finally made it to the hotel. It seemed like hours. We got around to the back, no one was there, yet. I climbed out of the car after Paul. He took my hand as we walked through the hotel and the many bellboys got our bags from the limo. We all got into the elevator I leaned against Paul and closed my eyes, almost falling asleep. The ding snapped me out of it and we all walked to our room. It was another nice suite and we all go to pick our rooms I got the end room on one side, Paul had to share one with John but it was right next to mine. �I�m going to go lay down� I said to Paul. He nodded. �Need help?� He asked. I shook my head slowly. �No, thanks� I said. He smiled and collapsed on the couch where his Beatle buddies were already collapsed. I walked to my room and shut the door. It was a pretty nice room. I dropped my purse on the nightstand and fell on to my back on the bed. It felt so good and soft. My stomach hurt so bad. I got that feeling in my throat and mouth and jumped up and ran into the bathroom. I kneeled in front of the toilet and as I realized I was very dizzy and proceeded to empty my stomach.

Chapter 13

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This story is copyrighted by Sarah Lucey 2002. Don't steal it! it's called plagurism.