WILDFIRE
By Aysia Anderson (a.k.a. Nikki)

Chapter Twenty-One: The Faintest Heartbeat

Justin tilted the bottom of the green colored glass bottle into the air causing the golden hued liquid housed inside to run down and drain into his mouth. It was a late Thursday night and a few of the guys had come over to keep him company. Sitting on the back patio to his left was Nelly, to his right was Trace, and on the other side of Trace there was JC. The group of four had been sitting in silence, sipping their beers, and looking out over the scenery. The only sound was that of the crickets rubbing their hind legs together in the grass and the occasional burp that erupted from one of the drinkers.

“It’s been a slow day.” JC commented to a chorus of ‘yep’, ‘uh-huh’, and ‘mm-hmm’ from the other men. “We haven’t talked much lately.”

“What is there to talk about?” Trace questioned, tilting his bottle to his lips.

“I don’t know.” JC shrugged. “Anything.”

“We can’t talk about the same things that we used to talk about.”

Justin turned to his friend with an inquisitive look. “Why is that?”

“That should be obvious, J.”

“Should it?”

“Yeah,” Trace turned to face him. “You’re married now with a baby on the way. We can’t talk about all of the hoes that we’ve landed at the clubs and shit with you anymore.”

“Why not?” Justin’s brows furrowed quizzically. Why all the sudden did he have to be out of the loop? Just because he wasn’t playing the field anymore it didn’t mean that he didn’t want to be included in the booty patrol discussions. He had practically founded the thing!

Nelly shook his head, agreeing with Trace on the subject. “He’s right, dog. You had some of the best stories but clubbing isn’t quite the same with you missing in action. Now the thrill is gone.”

“The thrill has gone away…” JC added, singing the old classic inspiring chuckles from all but Justin.

“Nell is practically engaged to Nastassia so what does that say?”

Trace answered quickly, “It means that Josh and I better start steering clear of you two unless we want to be next on the list.”

“You say that like I’m trapped in this relationship or something.” Justin’s voice rose as his irritation grew.

“Maybe you are, man.”

“I’m not trapped anywhere, alright? I’m here because it’s exactly where I want to be.”

“Who are you trying to convince?” Trace stared him down heatedly. “Me or yourself?”

“He’s happy with Camille, okay?” Nelly stuck up for his friend. “Prowling the nightclubs for ass for the rest of his days was never the game plan.”

“Speaking of Camille where is your lady love right now?” JC decided that it was best to change the subject before things escalated and got out of hand.

“She’s with my mom.” Justin answered and tried to shake away the anger that had been boiling in him because of his best friend’s words. “They went to go get an ultrasound earlier and haven’t come back.”

“Why didn’t you go with them for the ultrasound?”

“I went two weeks ago. My mom saw the picture from that and fell in love so she insisted on them taking more photos.”

“Your mom is collecting those black and white sketches that look like aliens in the dark?” Trace made a face after asking his question.

“They’re using that new technology now where you can actually see what the baby looks like, right?” JC leaned forward in his lounge chair.

Justin nodded as Trace started to speak again. “So what does this thing look like? Is it a boy or a girl?”

“My daughter is gorgeous, thank you.”

“Y’all come up with any names?” Nelly set his beer bottle down next to the leg of his chair and leaned back to look at the purple and blue sky.

“Marie, Anna, Isabelle, Brooke, Justine…there are a million and one.”

“See, now this is exactly what I’m talking about, y’all!” Trace stood up with his bottle in hand. “We’ve gone from talking about hoes to talking about baby names! This is sick!”

“I think someone’s jealous.” Nelly began in a singsong voice.

“Jealous of what?”

“Come back to the circle, Trace.” JC sat back up in his chair slowly with his arms wide open encouraging both Justin and Nelly to do the same. “Come back to us. It’s okay to grow up sometime.”

“Fuck y’all, man! I’m out!” Trace set down his beer and started back into the house to exit through the front door. “I’ll give you a buzz when you come back to your senses.”

“He’ll be back.” JC chuckled.

“They all come back.” Nelly added.

/*/*/

Her mind was racing with thoughts as she sat in the driver’s seat of her car. She hadn’t started the engine yet because she couldn’t find her focus. Beyonce’s words were floating through her head as well as all of the opinions of her other girlfriends that had been shared over the course of their dinner together. There was a general consensus that letting him back into her life could be the biggest mistake that she had ever made.

By doing what he had done, Justin had publicly humiliated his own wife. As far as the media was concerned it wasn’t a problem that was within him. It had to be an external flaw and that flaw, as they saw it, was the mother of his child. What was it that Camille was doing wrong? Just how was she pushing him into the arms of another woman? There was no doubt that his infidelity was ignited by her lacking in some sort of area of their relationship. All of the accusations from the public had driven her crazy and the doubts of her friends were stirring it all up once again.

Camille’s eyelids fluttered as she tried to push back the tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks and reached forward to turn the key into the ignition. As the radio popped on she prayed to God that no one had seen her pull into the vacant parking lot to collect her thoughts. She didn’t need a million photos of her in print and on the internet breaking down the very first time that she had shown her face in public since the whole ordeal and hit the airwaves.

As she shakily turned her Mercedes back out onto the street her car phone began to ring. Glancing down she read the words HOME on the digital screen and took a deep breath. Getting herself together, she pressed the speaker button, and said hello.

“Hi, mommy!” Nicole’s jovial voice filled the empty space in the car causing a smile to rise on Camille’s face.

“Hey, Butterbean. What’s up?”

“Daddy’s watching Courage The Cowardly Dog on TV.”

“Oh, is he?”

“Yeah,” Nicole paused as Justin mumbled something to her in the background. “Daddy says to tell you that it wasn’t the silver dress that he noticed.”

Camille’s lips parted to say something. She didn’t know what that was supposed to mean at first but then it hit her. He was referring back to the night that they had met. “Daddy said that?”

“Yeah, I said that.” Justin’s voice replaced his daughter’s. “I think you were sending me vibes or something just now.”

“What do you mean?”

“You and I are connected, Camille. I feel what you feel, you know? I know you’re hurting right now.”

“Justin, don’t be weird.” Camille sniffled and strained to focus on the road.

“What did the committee have to say about things?”

“We didn’t have a meeting about you.”

“But they brought it up, did they not?” Justin asked seriously. He knew how her friends operated. He didn’t dislike any of them nor did they dislike him but he knew that they stuck together. If one of them got hurt then they would come together to protect the wounded. They had done that when Beyonce and Jay-Z had gone their separate ways. They were still doing that with his wife.

“It came up, yes.”

“Baby, all I’m going to say is go with your heart. Do what you feel.”

“J,”

“Cam…” Justin shook his head and closed his eyes. “I don’t want us to go our separate ways. I don’t want to live a day of my life without you and I know that you don’t want to live without me either. If you think that it’s better for you if we just let this go…”

“Justin you weren’t thinking about what was better for me when you slept with that bitch so what’s the difference now?”

“I’m taking Nikki to my mom’s house.” He swallowed down the lump in his throat. “We’ve been running around this thing and pretending that things are fixed when they’re not so let’s stop playing games.”

“It’s never been a game, Justin.”

“Yeah? Well, we’re going to be sure tonight then. I’ll see you when you get home.”

“I told Nicole that I was taking her out.”

“Do that tomorrow.”

“Don’t make me into a liar with my daughter!”

“Hmm,” He nodded his head slowly as if she could see the gesture. “I thought she was our daughter.”

/*/*/

He would have been there sooner had he not been pulled over by a police officer for speeding. He had been sitting on the patio with his homeboys when the call came in from his mother. She and Camille had gone for the ultrasound and were relaxing together at her home when it happened. All out of the blue her water had broken. Upon hearing the news he had jumped into one of the cars in his collection and sped off into the night. After pleading his case to the officer he was escorted to the hospital by sirens and pressing the nurses for information in no time.

“Your wife is already in labor, Mr. Timberlake, so we need you to come into this room for sterilization before you go in.” One of the male nurses explained, leading him behind two swinging doors, as the screams of a woman were heard in the background.

“That’s not…That’s,” Justin stammered, “not my wife is it?”

“Afraid so, sir. She’s been cursing your name for a while now.” The nurse chuckled and directed him in cleaning up before getting him into gear. Moments later they were in the delivery room. Justin could have dropped right there.

“Oh…! What took you so long?” Camille tried to tone down her wails as he cautiously approached her and allowed her to take his hand.

“I got pulled over.” He explained and took the dampened towel from one of the nurses to pat down her drenched forehead. “I see you started without me, sugar.”

“She’s not waiting for you.” She giggled, referring to their baby who was giving her body hell.

“I guess not.”

“Mrs. Timberlake?” The doctor asked, positioned between her legs. “We’re going to need you to push now. The baby’s head is crowning.”

“Crowning?” Justin made a face.

“Yeah, you missed the cutting.” Camille rolled her eyes and struggled to push. “Oh, my God! Thank you, Jesus, for drugs!”

“Justin, would you like to see this?” The doctor offered.

“See what?!” His eyes grew huge but he reluctantly made his way around to watch the birthing process. It seemed to go on forever and ever but when it was over he couldn’t have been happier to have been there, to experience, to be the first person to hold that little life.

Camille lay tiredly in the hospital bed as Justin strolled around the room holding their daughter. She wanted to hold her too but she didn’t want to ruin his moment. She had never seen him so taken with anything in his entire life. Most babies were born with their eyes closed but their daughter was definitely looking around and taking it all in. She had a head full of hair and gorgeous doe eyes.

“Baby, what do you think about the name Nicole?” he asked, finally coming to the side of the bed and lowering their little angel into the arms of her mother.

“I like that name.” Camille smiled tiredly as she stared down at the life that they had created together. “She looks like you.”

“I beg to differ.” Justin looked her over and kissed her gently. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Giving me what no other person in this world is able to. I love you.”

/*/*/

She wasn’t about to pretend that she wasn’t upset as she threw her car into park inside of the garage and made her way towards the house. As she approached she noticed him open the front door in passing and then continue on his way up the stairs toward their bedroom. Were they really about to do this? Were they about to have that fight that they had both been dreading, pretending would never come, since she had let him return to their home? That question was answered as she stepped inside and instead of closing the front door slammed it.

“What the fuck were you trying to say on the phone, Justin? What?” She shouted at the top of her lungs, throwing her purse down onto the floor as he appeared at the banister above her.

“I’m tired of this bullshit, Camille! All of this wait until this weekend and I’ll tell you where we stand! Why can’t you be a fucking adult about it?” He screamed back at her irately.

“Oh, no! We’re not even starting with that, alright? What were you trying to say when you said you thought she was our daughter? Are you implying that you and I are one in the same? You think I fucked around on you like you fucked around on me?”

“Honestly, Camille, when would you have had the time? If you did fuck around on me and I wasn’t the father you’d have an awful lot of explaining to do to Nastassia because he man was the only other guy around unless you were fucking the gardener in Caribe Cay!”

“Kiss my ass, Justin!”

“Kiss your ass? Kiss your ass, Camille?” He scoffed and started down the stairs. “I’ve been kissing your ass since the day I fucking met you! Whatever you wanted that’s what you got! Whenever you needed me I was right there! You want me to kiss your ass? Bend over so I can finish the job and be done with the shit!”

“You want to be done? You want to be done?”

“Yes! Damn it, as a matter of fact I do! I can’t live like this anymore!” Justin stood before her menacingly. “Yes, I cheated on you, Camille, and it was more than once. Would I do it again, I doubt it, but if it was going to turn out this way after one time…if it was going to be just as bad I should have never stopped fucking her!”

Camille staggered backwards. His words were just as powerful, if not more, as if he had punched her in the face. Her entire body seemed to be burning as if she were engulfed in flames. “I want a divorce.” She barely heard her own voice but she knew that she had said the words. She knew that it wasn’t only in her head because his face fell.

Justin’s chest heaved with his tears as he followed his wife into the kitchen. “Baby, I didn’t mean that. I didn’t….I didn’t mean what I just said.”

“Justin, you don’t ever mean shit, do you?”

“Fuck,” his hand went to his chest clutching his heart. “You said that divorce wasn’t a part of the…”

“You knew I wasn’t like those other girls! You knew that I wasn’t going to put up with that bullshit yet you did it anyway, I guess, to test me or something? I’m not going to do it anymore!”

“Camille, please?”

“I can’t believe your stupid ass! I can’t believe you!” She shook her fists up at her shoulders. “You fucking lying bastard!”

“What? What did I…”

“You dumb fuck, you told me you only fucked her once but you just admitted it was more than that! You said you only…”

Justin’s eyes clouded over with tears as he moved closer to her. She wished that she hadn’t been standing where she was. She had put herself into the corner with nowhere to go. He was trying to hold her, pull her into his arms, and keep her calm but she was getting hostile. “Baby, don’t fight me! Shit, I…Camille…”

“Don’t fucking touch me! Don’t!” She shouted angrily, struggling with him so that she could get away. She didn’t care if it was just to the other side of the room she had to be away from him. “Stop!”

Justin was frozen in place. He hadn’t expected her to slap him. She hadn’t intended to slap him. Yet, there it was and it was done. The first blow had been delivered. He stared at her as she stared back at him, heaving chest, absolutely terrified for her life. He had never raised his hand to her before but the thought of getting hit back paralyzed her.

The second that his eyes moved away from hers she felt herself falling. Her entire body slid down the side wall where the oven had been implanted and down to the floor. Justin was soon to follow as she drew her legs up to her chest and cried endless tears. She was too distraught to stop him from grasping her calves in his strong hands and sliding them apart back behind his body causing their chests to be flat against one another.

Just as she hadn’t meant to slap him she hadn’t meant to wrap her arms around him. She hadn’t meant to seek comfort in the one that caused her pain. She hadn’t meant to fall in love with him and ruin her relationship with David to spend the rest of her life with him. Camille hadn’t meant a lot of things…

Love Can Be Jagged Little Pill...