WILDFIRE
By Aysia Anderson (a.k.a. Nikki)

Chapter Twenty-Two: My Immortal

Trace, Chris, Lance, and JC all sat with eyes wide and mouths agape as Camille sat in the loveseat of her and Justin’s home with their newborn daughter nestled in her arms. Their eyes shifted from the mother to her child in anticipation. It wasn’t until Justin cleared his throat, sitting on the end of the couch with the television remote in hand, that they turned their attention off into different directions.

“Y’all act like y’all have never seen a woman’s breast before.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head at his friends. The whole room had fallen silent the moment that Camille revealed to JC that she had to feed the baby in the middle of their side conversation. Everyone else had been engrossed in conversation about the basketball game on the television screen until they so happened to overhear her.

“But they’re huge! They’re like engorged…” Chris held his hands out, palms to the ceiling, and shook them as if he couldn’t make sense of what was going on.

“They’re engorged with milk! It’s the life-cycle, you freaks! Stop gawking at my wife’s breasts!”

“But have you seen them?” Lance asked as if he could really defend their actions. “They’re definitely more than a handful and you know that’s my thing.”

“Guys, I’m still here, you know?” Camille mumbled as her baby girl went to town guzzling away.

Justin’s eyes shifted from his friends to his wife and back again. “Don’t y’all have something to do with your lives today?”

“See, the shit is turning you on too.” JC commented, standing up to make his getaway with the others soon following his lead. “It’s been real Camelot. We’ll talk to you later, sweetheart.”

“Camelot?” Justin eyed his friend suspiciously. “You’ve got a nickname for my girl?”

Trace pat JC’s shoulder as they all began to exit and threw a glance back at Justin. “He’s just waiting for you to mess up so he can take your place, dude!”

“Not going to happen.” He pointed at JC before standing up to walk them all to the door and say goodbye. After his crew had all departed he strolled back into the den just as Nicole had finished feeding. He had never known that babies drank so much milk. He was afraid that she would overdose. “Is she done?”

“For the next two hours.” Camille sighed heavily and stood up with their now sleeping baby girl in her arms.

“You think maybe you should get some rest in the meantime?”

“She’s going to wake up as soon as I put her down. She always does.”

“I’ve got her.” Justin moved closer to her and lifted Nicole from his wife’s arms. “Baby, just go to sleep.”

“I can’t. I’m up.” She shrugged, defeated. He knew as well as she did that once she was awake there was no going back for her.

“Then what do you need me to do for you to get relaxed?”

“Get your daughter to not bite my breast ever again in life.”

Justin smirked and flicked her breast with his finger causing her to punch him in the arm. He pretended to be hurt for a moment before asking, “Is she hurting you?”

“Try having your nipples sucked on every two hours and you tell me.” The petite woman commented and folded her arms over he chest to prevent any further attacks.

“You say that like you’ve never done it before.” He cracked knowing full well that she wasn’t in the mood for his perverted humor at the time. “Use the breast pump and we’ll start getting her on the bottle.”

“She refuses the bottle.”

“Well, if I had the choice between the real thing and plastic I’d choose you too.”

“Aw, thanks babe!” Camille rolled her eyes at him. “You know what you can do for me? See if you can get her to sleep in her crib for at least half an hour. Then I’ll pay you back.”

“Oh…really?” Justin wiggled his eyebrows and moved to kiss her. “You’ve been holding out on that for a while now.”

“You try squeezing a pineapple out of a hole that only a banana could fit into and then you talk to me about getting some.”

“Thanks for that new perspective, Chamomile. Really graphic and haunting.”

“Glad to have been of service to you, sugar. Next time you give birth, okay?” She kissed him back before he turned to leave the room and tackle the stairs to their bedroom where they had had to move Nicole’s crib. She was very attached to her parents from the beginning. She preferred for them both to be around her at all times but would sometimes settle for only one. More often than not that one constant had to be her mother.

Once Justin had gotten her settled into her crib and waited to see if she was going to remain asleep he bounded back down the stairs and into the den to collect what was promised to him. What he saw made his jaw drop. There was his wife, on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket snoring her life away. “Oh, don’t even pull that! You didn’t fall asleep that damn fast!”

////

“Nicole was quite the handful when she finally made her appearance on the scene. She wasn’t a crier, that is, unless she was separated from her mother or father. She really latched on to them but I guess that’s something that all babies do.” JC chuckled as he thought about the good old days. “It took a village to raise that little girl to where she’s at now. When she said her first words and started walking on her own…oh, my god. I can’t even describe that feeling to you because I was overwhelmed and I’m just a bystander, you know? I’m the godfather but I’m not the birth father.”

“How is it that you came to be the godfather of Justin and Camille’s daughter? Justin has a lot of close friends and most would assume that his childhood friend, Trace Ayala, would have been the first choice.” Gary was starting to wonder about discrepancies in the story. It wasn’t that the retelling was off. It was that some of the situations didn’t add up to him. Why were some decisions made in place of others?

“Trace isn’t the kind of guy that you want to be looking after your kid. He’s still very irresponsible in a lot of ways and besides that he and Camille don’t exactly see eye to eye.”

“They don’t get along?”

JC shrugged his shoulders. “She tolerates him because he’s her husband’s running partner. Beyond that, no way, they’re like oil and water.”

“Interesting,” Gary jotted down something onto the paper on his clipboard and urged JC to continue his story.

////

“Do you know how beautiful you are when you’re tired?” Justin sweet talked his wife as she rest her head on his shoulder and cuddled close.

Camille shook her head slowly and closed her eyes. She hadn’t gotten much sleep with suddenly being a full-time mommy. Touring around the world couldn’t prepare her for it at all.

“You all right?” Justin shifted slightly so that his face was lowered down to hers.

“Mm-hmm,” she nodded and peeked into his eyes from under her heavy eyelashes.

“You too tired to get engaged in some long-awaited kissing?”

“Never that.” She whispered as he brought his lips to hers.

As the kiss deepened Camille moved from his side and onto his lap bringing the blanket that she had had over and around their shoulders. Justin’s hands gripped her rear from under the blanket and pulled her as close as he could get her. He had no inhibitions as his hands moved up and began to circle her waist only to pause in the front to unbutton her jeans. Once accomplishing the easy task of unzipping the denim material, they slid slightly inside the jeans and cut separate paths around to the back once again in an effort to start the process of clothing removal.


“In a rush?” Camille separated her lips from his in order to giggle slightly at his urgency.

“Nikki will be up in a little over an hour and half and I plan on at least going and hour minimum.” He replied, pulling her forward again causing her to lean up so that he could tug her jeans down to the back of her knees.

“Ah, Superman, eh?”

“Every time, baby. Every time.”

“Promise me something.” She stared down into his hungry eyes.

“Anything, sweetheart.”

“Promise me that you’ll never play Superman with another girl.”

Justin stared at her strangely. Was it even a question? “You’ve got my word. This is all for you.”

/*/*/

I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
‘Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone

“If you didn’t want to be with me then you should have stayed with her. You should have gone back to her and married her if you love her so much.”

Justin could barely believe that she would even think that he could love another woman. He was incapable of loving anyone the way that he loved Camille. “I don’t love her, baby, I never have. You have to believe that.”

“I don’t have to believe anything that you ever say to me.”

“Camille…”

“You’re a liar, Justin. You’re a fucking liar!” She started to move her legs to get away from him again but his arms locked tighter around her waist not allowing her the chance. She was trapped there on the kitchen floor with him forced to face their problems head on.

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

“It’s in the past now. Why can’t we just let this go and forget about it?” He pleaded desperately wishing that she could just forgive and forget so that they could move on with their lives together.

“If I cheated on you, Justin, you wouldn’t have just forgotten about it. You would be worrying my ass about it everyday for the rest of my life.”

“That’s not true.”

“Do I need to bring up some of your ex-girlfriends to prove my case? You have a really nice song on your first album for one of them, don’t you?”

Her sudden movement stopped him from making a comeback statement. “What are you doing? Camille, what the hell are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” She twisted her wedding ring around her finger to loosen it before pulling it off and holding it between them at eyelevel. “What does this mean to you? Huh? What does it mean?”

When you cried I wiped away all of your tears
When you’d scream I fought away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

Justin stared at the ring before looking pass it and into her pain filled eyes. There was nothing that he could say. He knew that if he said anything at all she wouldn’t listen and that if he didn’t she would form her own opinion. He was at a dead end.

“We have a daughter. What is this saying to her?” Camille asked seriously. “What do you think she is concluding in her mind when she sees this shit? Don’t say that we never fight when she’s around because she’s not a stupid child. She’s catching the after effects and its affecting her.”

“I would never hurt our child.”

“You don’t think by hurting me you’re hurting her too?”

“What about how much you hurt me, Camille?” Justin sat more upright suddenly causing her to jerk back in his arms. “Huh? What about that shit?”

“That’s right, Justin. Turn it all around so it’s not about you messing up but something that someone else has done to help get you there.” She nodded her head scathingly. “So when you’re done blaming me for it we’ll move on to Trace not liking me from jump and giving your ex-girlfriend the key to your hotel room…”

“Trace not liking you is so untrue!”

“Oh, it’s not?” Camille almost laughed. “Let’s not forget that he was the one against you and I having kids because it fucked up the macking in the clubs! Let’s not forget about what you told me he implied at his new year’s party the night we first kissed.”

“I don’t believe you’re bringing up this bullshit, Camille.” He shook his head in disgust at her.

“He implied that I was just some thing that you were playing with to occupy your free time, right? He said he hadn’t seen you in a while because of all of the working and what was it? Oh, yeah! Playing!”

Justin swallowed, unable to look at her. “We’re not talking about this right now.”

“Okay, we won’t talk about the fact that you let the bitch he catered to you stay all night either. We won’t even talk about the fact that you had sex with her!”

“This is fucking stupid!”

“Yeah, it is fucking stupid!” She shouted pointedly. “So what we got into an argument that night? Who the fuck cares that Trace’s trifling ass got her in your room without you knowing it? The thing is, Justin, I didn’t take your dick out of your pants for you and neither did he. You did that shit. YOU did it.”

“I guess you never messed up once now did you, Camille? Hmm?“ He shifted his jaw, waiting for an answer. She had been so mouthy about his mistakes so where were her words now? “Was I not supposed to care about the shit with JC?”

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I’m bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

“Nothing happened with JC. I told you that then and I’m telling you it now. That’s the difference between you and me. I didn’t spread my legs for your friend but you sure as hell dived into…”

“That’s it! Fuck it!” Justin finally let her go and slid back on the floor so that there was a space between them before standing up to his feet. “What do you want, Camille? What the fuck do you want me to do about it now?”

“Try realizing that listening to your boy and taking his word over your wife’s cost you your marriage.” She stood up to her feet and walked passed him.

Justin closed his eyes and cocked his head to the side as he caught her elbow in his hand. “I could say the same thing to you. If you hadn’t met with The Committee earlier we wouldn’t even be at this point right now.”

“Stupid is as stupid does.”

“You can have anything you want. You know that right?” He eased her body around in front of his so that he could look at her.

“That’s not true.”

“I’ll give you the houses and the cars… How is that not true?”

“Because the only thing I ever wanted from you was you. All of you.” Her voice trembled as she spoke. “You gave a part of you to another. So when you say that I can have anything I want its not true.”

“Camille, I’m right here!” Justin cried out painfully, throwing his hands into the air and collapsing onto his knees in front of her. “I’m right here!” His arms went around her waist as he cried into her stomach.

Camille stared up at the ceiling through blurry eyes, bringing her hands up to the top of her head, unable to see him the way that he was in that moment. She had seem him cry before but it had never been anything to this degree. This was an all out, body shaking, convulsion stirring cry. He reminded her of a moment in her past where she had been in his place pleading for the one person that she loved at the time not to walk out of her life…

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

---Camille stared at him painfully through tear blurred eyes. Her chin quivered as she stood locked in his grip. She couldn't accept this.

"When you told me that you loved me I believed that, Camille. I believed every word you ever said to me."

"I never lied to you." her voice was high pitched and choked as she spoke her words. "I never lied."

David sighed heavily and released her from his grip. Instantly her arms were around his shoulders and her legs wrapped around his middle. She was hanging on to him for dear life. They both heard the horn honking in the driveway and her grip tightened.

"I gotta go." David sniffled, smoothing his hands over her back. "I gotta go."

"Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this." she repeated over and over again into his neck refusing to let him go. She could hear the knock on the front door before it's opening and his friend carrying his things outside to the car.

"Don't make this hard." he pleaded as she moved her head to face him.

"Then don't leave."---

When you cried I wiped away all of your tears
When you’d scream I fought away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

“Don’t leave.” Justin breathed heavily, his hands in fists at her sides gripping the soft material of her shirt. “Don’t leave.” He whispered.

Her entire body felt cold as she heard his words, an echo of her own from so long ago. He was weak. For the first time ever in the history that she had known him he was broken down. He had been hurt before but never destroyed. Could she say goodbye? Could she be as strong as David had been with her and walk out on something that was both a heaven and a hell?

Camille moved her hands from her head and slowly down. She could feel his shaking slowly subsiding as her hands covered his fists at her sides. He seemed so fragile. So easily breakable even by the slightest touch. Soon his grip loosened and he let go of the material just as she had released her grip on David the night that they had said their farwells. This was where she was supposed to walk away off into the sunset to never return. This was where she was supposed to say goodbye…

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
But though you’re still with me
I’ve been alone all along

When you cried I wiped away all of your tears
When you’d scream I fought away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

/*/*/…////

JC stopped talking at the sound of his cellular phone ringing. He had thought that he had turned it off but was obviously mistaken. After apologizing for the interruption he pulled the phone from his pocket and pressed the talk button. Everyone in his entourage knew that he was in an important interview so whatever it was he assumed that it was important.

“Yo, JC, this is Trace, man. Um, I don’t know how to say this but, um…”

“What? What happened?” JC stood from his chair and walked off of the set to seek privacy in the hallway as the crew shut down their equipment to take a break in the meantime.

“Things aren’t going in the direction that we thought that they were going. Justin slipped up. Camille’s had it.” Trace reported with a empathetic tone in his usually sarcastic voice.

“What do you mean he slipped up?”

“They got into an argument and he kind of let it slip that he slept with her more than once.”

“I thought he told her that in the beginning!” JC nearly shouted before catching himself.

“Obviously he didn’t and now she’s ready to end it all.” Trace continued.

“She’s going to divorce him?”

“It looks that way. He was really upset when he called me and said that he can’t trust me…he’s on some psycho bullshit right now.”

“Alright,” JC sighed heavily. “This is what I’m going to do. I’m going to tell these VH1 people that something’s come up and I gotta bounce. I need you to get back into contact with Justin if you can and I’ll see what I can do about Camille.”

“What makes you think that you’ll be able to talk any sense into her?”

“She’s already got enough sense. I just want to sit down with her, feel her out, and see if there is any reason that she would want to stay with him. I honestly don’t know what the hell is wrong with Justin right now but he’s acting like she can’t do better than him.”

Trace couldn‘t believe what he was hearing. “What is that supposed to mean? Haven’t you read the tabloids, Josh?”

“Trace, Camille can be with any man in this world but she wants to be with him and that’s obvious. So what the tabloids were trying to make his cheating her fault? They needed something bad to say about her because it’s been so squeaky clean since she arrived on the scene. Don’t you remember how in high demand she was before, during, and after she gave birth to Nicole?”

“You sound like one of her groupies, man.”

JC rolled his eyes. “Don’t start. You‘ve done enough with assuming to last a lifetime.”

“All I’m saying is that you sound a lot more interested in Camille than you do in Justin. Who is your friend in all of this?”

////

“There are a few options that are available to you, Mrs. Timberlake.” Margaret Turner, Camille’s attorney, began candidly. “We can begin filing papers for your divorce from Mr. Timberlake or file for legal separation. A lot of couples opt for the second choice and do end up getting back together. Time apart can be beneficial to the relationship.”

“I don’t need time apart from my husband. I need him out of my life.” Camille replied scathingly and folded her arms over her chest. “We’ve already tried separation and that didn’t fix the problem.”

“How long were you separated?”

“We still are separated.”

Margaret cleared her throat and opened a manila folder on her desk filled with paperwork. “Have you considered couple’s counseling at all, Mrs. Timberlake?”

“Henderson.”

“Ma’am?”

“It’s Henderson. I never changed my last name.” Camille corrected her mistake.

“Oh…excuse me then.” The refined older woman prodded her glasses higher over the bridge of her nose. “Will you be requesting alimony?”

“No. I don’t want anything from him.”

“Then my final question is this, Ms. Henderson. Have you considered the price that your daughter may have to pay?”

Camille nodded sadly seeing a picture of her child in her mind’s eye. “I’ve thought about it every minute of every day since Justin and I came to a head.”

“You know that this could escalate into a bitter custody battle?”

“I don’t doubt that.”

Margaret nodded her head that she understood. “Will you be filing for sole custody of your child or will you be filing for joint custody?”

Camille ran the tip of her tongue over the front of her teeth. She had thought this over before she had even arrived yet still she was going back and forth about it. She had to decide right then and there and face the consequences. “Sole custody.” She answered boldly. “I’d like to file for sole custody of my child…”


---My Immortal by Evanescence, Fallen LP ---

Has There Been More Than Enough?