WILDFIRE
By Aysia Anderson (a.k.a. Nikki)

Chapter Thirteen: Leap of Faith

Without a care in the world Nicole Lynette Timberlake spun in elegant circles in the backyard of the only place that she had ever known as home. Masterfully she spun on her toes and enjoyed the breeze as she pretended to be a ballerina on a magnificent stage. She had big dreams and no one around to tell her that there was a possibility that they wouldn’t come true. She would never have to hear any words of doubt because her parents had already endured that pressure for her. They had both come from nothing and risen to the top. Their support for their own child would be endless.

She spun her hands in the air swaying back and forth as her imaginary audience cheered her on. In the front row she could see her mommy and her daddy sitting side by side smiling up at her proudly. She could tell that by the looks that they exchanged with each other they were very much in love not only with each other but with the young ballerina that they had raised happily together. Nicole hadn’t been there for their arguments, she was with her Grandma Lynn, but she could sense the unbalanced aura in the air in her father’s absence. It wasn’t the same was when he had been away before. Something with his departure this time was discomforting.

“She’s going to be bigger than Justin and I combined.” Camille commented as she and Nastassia sat on the veranda eating ice cream and enjoying the nice summer day while watching her daughter play. “She’s just got so much spirit inside of her.”

“I know.” Nastassia nodded her head in agreement, licking her red plastic spoon from Dairy Queen of it’s sugary contents. “She’s got a little piece of the both of you instilled on the inside. You think she’s going to be a pop star, too?”

“No,” she watched her daughter carefully. “Sometimes I think she’ll end up being a dancer and sometimes I think she’ll end up being an actress. She sings too, don’t get me wrong, but she doesn’t seem to have the same love for it that Justin and I do.”

“She’s carving her own path.”

“Yeah,”

“Yo, you remember when we were shorties back in the day, Cam? We had all these big dreams.” Nastassia smiled widely. “Nothing was going to hold us back.”

“Nothing did.” Camille laughed with her friend while spinning her spoon around through the Oreo cookie ice cream in her cup. “We had a lot going for us.”

“Like what? We were two middle class girls at the bottom of the food chain as far as we were concerned.”

“We had my uncles. Shit, if it wasn’t for them having all those connections with the music and being small town producers themselves we’d probably still be in the middle of nowhere.”

“You don’t honestly believe that do you?” Nastassia turned to her friend with a concerned look surfacing on her face. “Cam, we were meant for this. We were going to get to this point with or without the outside help because we were destined for greatness.”

“Yeah, someone was really going to hear our voices in our dinky old town. We weren’t even a city, Stassia.”

“Don’t you remember those days in high school, kid? Don’t you remember when you’d write these song lyrics and we’d get all of our girls together to be backup dancers during lunch?”

“I remember that.” Camille could see those days clearly in her mind’s eye and it filled her with a warmth on the inside that she had seemed to have lost somewhere along the way.

“We all used to run into that small hallway behind the doors and practice the choreography that you and Swift had come up with to go with your words. You’d start singing and they’d be dancing. You’d always leave this opening where I would be able to jump in and spit some rhymes.” Nastassia smiled proudly at their youth. “We were fly even then, C, and people were taking notice. You remember when some of the parents started coming in to see us? Their kids were actually going home and telling them about the two girls at school that were about to be famous!”

“Stassia, why are you bring up all of this stuff? It’s over. It’s in the past now.”

“I’m bringing this up because you’re losing sight of who you are. You’re forgetting about where you came from and that you didn’t get here because someone else carried you in. You got here because of you.”

“I know what you’re saying but sometimes it just feels like…”

“Justin did not get you here, Camille. You got you here.” Nastassia said pointedly. “I know you’re hurting right now and over the years you’ve been questioning yourself and your own talent because this relationship, you marrying him, overshadowed a lot of the things that you’ve done validly. I just want you to know that you could step out of here tomorrow with or without him at your side and people would still be interested in what you’re doing. You’d still be the girl that America’s been growing up with for the past few years.”

“Sometimes I can’t help but to think to myself did I get here because I was supposed to be sharing myself with the world and opening up eyes or did I get here simply because I was supposed to be standing at his side?” Camille eyes glazed over with tears as she looked up from her Dairy Queen cup and to her daughter who was still dancing in the swaying grass. “Some people were only really meant to be together in order to bring their children into the world. Maybe Justin and I aren’t meant to be together, with each other, but maybe all we were meant to do was to come together to make Nicole.”

“Cam, why can’t you be meant to touch the world, meant to be Nicole’s mother, as well as being meant to be with that man?”

Camille sighed heavily and shook her head trying to get her emotions into check. “I don’t know.”

Nastassia looked over her friend sadly. How had something like this happened? All of their lives Camille had been feisty and fiery letting nothing stand in her path. She was one of the most driven individuals that she had ever met. Now, here she sat, only a mere shell of what she had at one time been. It killed her to see her that way. Her attention shifted to Nicole.
“I remember being a little girl and wanting to be a ballerina.” she remembered proudly. “I begged and begged my mother to get me into classes but we couldn’t afford them at the time. My dad had left us and money was tight. So I had to stop dreaming and learn how to put food on the table.”

Camille’s eyes shifted to her friend as she sat silently and she listened. She listened to her words. She listened to her voice. She listened to the pain and the pride that had managed to mix themselves together as she spoke.

“I woke up one day and realized that I had to stop being a dreamer because a girl like me was never going to make it out of our back alley town…but then I met you.” Nastassia reminisced. “There you were full of excitement and all of these big dreams that couldn’t have possibly been attained from where we were located in the world. For some reason, though, I believed in you. I believed every word that you ever said and I followed you. I found that love that you had in music and found my own love in rap. You inspired me because you were this tiny little girl with all of this heart and all of this faith. You couldn’t read a musical note or sight-sing but you knew that you were going to be the biggest thing to ever hit the airwaves.”

A tear slid down Camille’s cheek as her friend spoke but she couldn’t move to stop it. She was locked away in that moment in time where nothing had to be harder than it seemed. Where every dream that she could possibly dream was just around the bend. She’d made those things happen even when there was no one around to back her up. She made her dreams come true.

“There was nothing that could come in-between us, Cam, ‘cause we were sisters and we knew what we wanted and nothing was going to be able to stop us! Then we got here and we took the world by storm.” Nastassia’s happiness faded away into sadness. “But you grew up, Cam. You settled down and got married. You had a baby.”

“I’m still the same person, Stassia.”

“We used to do everything together every step of the way, you know? Now we’re running on two separate paths. You’re on the straight and narrow and I’m still trying to find my way.”
Camille breathed, completely unaware that her friend had been feeling that way. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I always wanted you to be happy.”

“Trust me, I’m not happy right now.”

“But you could be.” Nastassia turned to make eye contact with her friend. “You still love him?”

“I don’t know sometimes. With everything that’s been going on I get so screwed up, you know? Shit, I love him most of the time…I love him now.”

“You should let him come back home, Cam.”

“I’m not stopping him. I do want him here.”

“Then tell him that. He knows he hurt you and he’s sorry. You just have to give him a chance.” Nastassia reached over and took Camille’s hand into her own. “You’ve got something great.”

Camille breathed in deeply praying to God that Nicole was still in her own separate dimension and not witnessing her mother breaking down the way that she was.

“The thing that I remember most about you from when we were little was how much you wanted somebody to love you. You never had a dad around for you so you were always looking for that void that you had inside of you for male companionship. Justin fills that void for you. You had a lot of bullshit along the way but you’ve got everything that you were wishing for inside of him.” Nastassia explained the best that she could. “He is a wonderful father to your daughter. He is so supportive of each and everything that you do. He’s both your friend, your confidant, your lover, and everything else in-between. Don’t let that slip away because of your pride.”

“What if this was all a mistake? I’m not this person, Nas! I’m not this girl!”

“I know that you were taught that if a man hurts you the way that Justin has that you’re supposed to let him go and move on with your life. C, you have to know that if you let him go you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. You’ll be that same frightened little girl wanting someone to love her. No one will be able to love you the way that he does…”

***

Justin closed his eyes as he sat in the back of the silent SUV wishing that he could already be back at home lying at her side and that none of the things that had happened had ever occurred. He wished that things could just go back to normal where he and his family would be sitting in the middle of the living room playing cheesy family board games to make Nicole happy. He’d give anything to play Chutes & Ladders and pretend to be heartbroken after letting his daughter win. He had had everything but now risked losing it all.

Sadly he skimmed through the photos encased inside of his wallet and thought about the past. There was a picture of Camille in high school that he had fallen in love with and that she had given him because she knew how much he liked it. He hadn’t known her then as she stood against an old tree in a burgundy peasant shirt and black corduroys but he wished that he had. Another picture was of the two of them together in a photo booth making faces at the camera before turning to each other and sharing an innocent kiss. That day had been wonderful. He couldn’t have loved her more, or so he had believed, until he flipped to the next small photo.

Camille’s mother, Linda, had taken this photo back when Camille was pregnant with their daughter. It was a photo of both her and Justin’s hands resting over her protruding stomach. To anyone else it was nothing but to him it was everything. It wasn’t a photo of them. It was a photo of the life that they had created together. You couldn’t see their faces or any other parts of their bodies. It was simply their hands resting protectively over the untainted existence of their unborn child.

Justin’s breath caught short in his throat when he felt the vibrating in his pocket. Quickly he retrieved the phone and checked the digital screen. Without a moments delay he flipped it open and brought it to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Are you still coming?” Camille’s voice sounded weak and worried all at the same time and Justin was in the dark as to what to make of it.

“Yeah, baby, I’m on my way. I should be there within the next thirty to thirty-five minutes.” he reported after checking the signs on the sides of the highway. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” she sniffled into the phone while standing in the kitchen. Nastassia was out in the backyard keeping watch over Nicole and dancing with her in the sunlight. “Do you have all of your things with you?”

“Um, yes.” he swallowed anxiously. “I was going to go get checked in at a hotel and everything before I came out there but…”

“I don’t want you to stay in any hotel.”

“Then where do you want me to stay, sweetheart?”

“Justin, you could stay at home if you really wanted to.” she took a deep breath. “I mean, you do live here and Nicole really misses you. I’m not going to fight with you when she’s here so you don’t have to worry about that and…”

“Baby, I know you’re really upset with me right now and everything and that’s my fault but I really want to work things out with you. You’re everything to me and I can’t stand this state that we’re in right now.”

“Don’t you think you should have thought about all of this before you did what you did?”

“Camille, I can’t take it back.” his voice trembled with emotion and he shut his eyes tightly. “I pray to God every second of everyday that I could just do every single moment over but it won’t happen.”

Camille shook her head, “I’ll talk to you when you get home.”

Justin listened to the sound of the dial tone for a moment before shutting the top of his phone and dropping it on the seat at his side…

////

“The kids only got to see each other maybe twice while Justin was touring over in Europe.” Lynn reported as one of the assistance set about getting her another glass of ice water while she spoke onscreen. “Initially it was a really difficult thing but they got used to the flow of things and work can really get your mind off of the things that are hurting you in your life. So instead of brooding on how much time they were losing being away from each other they plunged headfirst into their careers.”

“You say that during Justin’s touring there were only about two or three visits between them? Those times were when Justin flew out to be with Camille on the set of her first movie project?” Gary’s brows furrowed in wonderment. Something wasn’t adding up with the notes that he had gathered earlier on in the day.

Lynn smiled. “I know what you’re thinking. There were plenty of reports of the two of them being seen together in Europe. A lot of them were just completely untrue…the rumors. Justin flew out to New Jersey and spent a few weekends with Camille on the set. She only got the chance to visit him one time and it completely blew him away…”

////

“Oh, my God! I really need to start doing more club shows!” Justin beamed excitedly while rushing out of the backdoor of an English nightclub with the members of his band and his bodyguard, Lonnie. “Did you see the reaction in there? It was amazing with how up close and intimate that was!”

“I’m sure your fans would love being able to be that close to you all of the time.” the lead guitarist commented. “Almost makes you wonder why you even do the larger scale shows, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, actually.” Justin agreed as he came to stand in front of the doors of his private tour bus. “Nightclubs just have this whole other vibe, you know?”

“We’ll see you later, JT!” the members of his band and Lonnie waved him off quickly and made their way to the other bus causing a curious look to spread across his face. Wondering what the hell he had said to make them scatter the way that they had he shrugged it off and stepped onto the bus. Greeting the driver he took a moment to stretch in the isle before moseying to the back of the bus toward his bedroom away from home.

“What the fuck?” he blurted out at the sight of the young woman sitting on the edge of his bed expectantly. He was two seconds away from calling security when the realization overtook him that he knew this woman. This was HIS woman. “Baby?”

“Hey,” Camille stood up as he rushed into the room and threw his arms around her.

“Aw, man, am I dreaming?”

She laughed into his shoulder as he swayed them back and forth. “I couldn’t wait to come and see you.”

“I thought you were still filming!”

“I was but we wrapped early.” she explained as moved to kiss her. “I’m sorry that I didn’t call to let you know but I really wanted to surprise you.”

“I’m surprised,” Justin smiled widely unable to let her go. “Baby, I missed you so much! Did you see the show?”

“Yeah, you did great. I was so proud of you that I wanted to jump up and scream that that was my man up there on that stage but, you know, I had to keep my cool.”

“Aw, my own personal cheerleader.”

“Milk it while you can, baby.”

////

“Originally Camille only intended to stay overseas with him for a few days but Justin had other plans. He had about two weeks left to do in his show there before he would be coming back to America and he really wanted her to be there with him to kind of make up for lost time. Reluctantly she agreed to stay. I still remember the things that he told me about the night that it happened. He had a friend there that was getting married named Robyn and he really wanted the two girls to meet..”

///

“Oh, darling, I’ll get that.” Robyn jumped up from the table and took Camille’s plate from her hands as she headed to the kitchen sink to clean up. She was a petite young woman with green eyes and auburn hair that was just bursting at the seams with energy. Her bubbly personality was intoxicating. “Justin, she’s so lovely!”

“I’m glad you think so.” Justin smiled proudly, kissing Camille’s shoulder as he sat at her side with his arm around her at the kitchen table. “I completely agree.”

“Are you sure that you don’t need any help, Robyn? It’s really no problem for me.” Camille spoke up as the other woman began running dishwater into the sink.

“Oh, don’t worry about the mess, dear. Jude and I have guests over all the time. Having you a part in the cleanup just wouldn’t be civilized.”

“We hear you’re a very successful singer.” Jude, Robyn’s stylish and well-mannered fiancé, commented with a twinge of curiosity peeking in his voice. “We haven’t really listened to the radio or watched much television in the flat recently. We’ve been wrapped up in each other.” he smiled at Robyn who returned his sentiment from across the room by blowing him a kiss. “Perhaps you could tell us one of the song titles that you sing?”

“Oh, well,” Camille stammered before Justin filled in for her.

“She’s won an armful of Grammy’s back in The States for her album, Disillusioned, and put out a few…”

“You’re the singer behind that masterpiece?” Robyn stopped washing dishes and turned to face them all with wet soapy hands. “You’re Camille Henderson? The Camille Henderson?”

She smiled coyly, “That’s me.”

“Justin, you didn’t tell us that Camille was the Camille Henderson!” Jude’s mouth hung agape. “We’ve heard your music then. Only seen your face in passing in the market but…astounding! We’ve got a real celebrity in our very own kitchen, Robyn!”

“I guess I don’t count for much now do I?” Justin joked, lifting a glass of chardonnay.

“You’re just a regular bloke, Justin. You’re no one special. Camille must be out of her gourd to be seen with the likes of you!” Robyn kidded with him. “You are known quite popularly as Trousersnake!”

Camille laughed as Justin shook his head. “Why do you call him Trousersnake?”

“You poor uniformed girl.” Jude sipped from his glass and leaned forward across the table. “The bloke’s known for trying to get his snake into just about any woman’s trousers!”

“That is so untrue!” Justin passed off the wisecrack. “Cam, you cannot believe a word that comes out of their mouths. I am not as booty hungry as they’d like you to believe.”

“Ha!” Robyn began to let the water out of the sink after placing the last dish on the rack. “Has he told you about his collection of knickers?”

“What?” Camille turned to her boyfriend with her mouth hanging open in astonishment.

“I do not have a collection of panties!” Justin shouted, standing up from the table and taking her hand into his. “We’re going to bed! Goodnight!”

“Don’t forget where you leave your knickers, darling!” Jude warned. “They’ll be in the collection by morning!”

“And they may be bronzed!” Robyn added with a snicker as Camille waved goodnight to them and followed Justin upstairs and to the guest room that had been set aside for them.

“So you’re a panty raider, are you?” she teased while closing the door and witnessing him snatch the comforter from off of the bed. “What are you doing?”

“Creating the atmosphere.” he replied as he trailed over to the small balcony and looked out and up into the sky.

“Right,” Camille crossed the room after he had beckoned her and held on to the comforter as requested. “Justin?”

Stealthily he climbed up onto the railing and pulled himself up and onto the rooftop. Camille looked up after him in amazement and stood on her toes to hand him the blanket in her hands. After drawing it up and dropping it somewhere behind him he called for her to come up and join him.

“Are you out of your mind? I’m not coming up there with you to miss a step and fall down to my bloody death!” she stressed under her breath as not to wake the sleeping neighborhood.

“You’ve been here too long. You worked ‘bloody’ into your sentence.” he chuckled, laying down on his stomach and peering down over the edge of the roof at her. “Come here.”

“Fuck off!”

“You sound like Robyn. You her twin now or something?”

“Justin, I’m going to bed.” she rolled her eyes and started to head back into the bedroom when he called her back desperately. “What?”

“Baby, I won’t let you fall. Just trust me.” he held out his hands to her.

Taking a deep breath Camille regretfully began to climb up onto the railing as he had done. He whispered for her not to look down and to keep steady. Unlike the girls in most of the movies that she had seen she didn’t feel compelled to be disobedient and look death in the face. While trying to calm her nerves she felt his hands grip her wrists. Within seconds he had pulled her up and onto the rooftop with him. She was shaking like a leaf.

“You okay?” Justin asked seriously. “I got you. I won’t ever let anything happen to you.”
Camille nodded wordlessly and sat down with him on the rooftop trying not to unleash the internal panic attack that she was really going through. Quietly she leaned into him with his legs on either side of her and allowed him to wrap the large blanket around the both of them. Her heart was still racing but death was no longer in the forefront of her mind.

“Whenever I come to visit Robyn I come out here and sit on the roof to clear my head.” he explained. “She used to come up here with me with Zeik.”

“Who’s Zeik?”

“Zeik was her first husband. She lost him in a very tragic car crash on the autobahn. She really loved him. He was one of a kind.”

“How did she meet Jude?”

“He and Ziek were close friends. They’d grown up together.” Justin sighed. “When he was on his death bed he asked Jude to take care of Robyn and that’s what he’s been doing ever since. He was always around to catch her when she fell after Ziek passed away and then one day their friendship turned into love. He’s good for her.”

Camille nodded that she understood and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to think about things like that. Robyn seemed like such a lovely and uplifted individual. She hadn’t been able to tell that anything remotely unhappy had ever occurred in her life. Robyn exuded nothing but the positives in the world in every action that she made.

“I’m so thankful that you’re here with me right now.” Justin pressed his lips to the side of her head gently.

“I’m glad that you want me here.” she replied, taking one of his hands into her own and gently massaging from his palm to the end of each finger masterfully. He closed his eyes and let the feeling overtake him. “I learned this in seduction 101.” she spoke softly. “I perfected it on the guys in high school. You think that was why my yearbook was filled with numbers and propositions?”

“Maybe,” he whispered as she shifted to his other hand. Gently he brought the one that she had just relaxed up to her chin and directed her lips to his own. A million sensations shot through him instantly. “I meant it when I told you that I love you, Camille.”

“I know.” her heart felt light as his hand slid from her chin, down her neck, and to her collarbone. “I meant it too.”
/*/*/

Silently Nicole watched from the front window as the SUV pulled up in front of the house. Curiously she waited to see who would step out of it. Would it be her daddy or would it be another stranger that she had never seen before? She thought once to run and tell her mommy that someone was coming but was unable to move from her position on the couch. She was propped up with her knees on the cushions with her elbows implanted into the back of the sofa, hands holding up her little round face. She was not about to miss a beat.

Nicole made a face when the door opened on the opposite side of the car and out of her line of vision. All she could see was the top of a hat moving to the driver’s window. The exhaust stopped smoking from the back pipe and the passenger’s door opened revealing a tall and muscular black man. She recognized him almost immediately. He was Lonnie, a friend of the family.

“Hi, Mr. Lonnie!” she waved excitedly though his attention was cast elsewhere causing him to miss her greeting. Nicole scowled and continued to keep watch. A few moments later her prayers were answered.

Justin walked around the back of the car and lifted the door to the back cabin of the SUV to retrieve his suitcases. He and Lonnie had pulled out about half of his possession as the front door flew open. Before anything else he heard the pitter-patter of her small feet and as Nicole jumped excitedly into his arms he couldn’t stop smiling. This was home.

A Home Like No Other...