WILDFIRE
By Aysia Anderson (a.k.a. Nikki)

Chapter Fourteen: 20/20 Vision

Justin was blinded by the images of the past as he stepped into the doorway holding his daughter in his arms. In the silence he could hear the sound of Camille’s laughter inside of his head and feel her presence engulfing his body. Being away from her had been tormenting but at the same time jumping back into the inferno was mind numbing. He had missed her while he was away but the mere scent of her in the air intensified his longing.

“Are you going to say hi to mommy?” Nicole asked with her voice barely above a whisper.

“Of course, sweetheart.” he turned to face her as she tightened her small arms around his neck.

“Mommy won’t be mad at you forever.”

“How do you know she’s upset with me?”

Nicole shrugged innocently. There wasn’t a whole lot that she missed. She had excellent observational skills. “Why did you make her cry?”

Justin was at a loss for words. He had been asking himself that very same question since the night that it had transpired. “Daddy did a stupid thing without thinking, Piglet, and unintentionally hurt mommy’s feelings. He just doesn’t know how to make things right again.”

“Ask her where it hurts and then kiss it all better. That’s what you and mommy do for me,” his daughter offered up a simple solution causing him to chuckle lightly.

“Oh, baby, I think that only works on boo-boos.”

“You should still try it, daddy.”

“Yeah,” a woman’s voice agreed and Justin smiled upon realizing who it was. “It couldn’t hurt to try.”

“How have you been, beautiful?” he took a moment to embrace Nastassia and allowed her to take Nicole from him and into her arms.

“I’ve been holding up. Keeping busy. How was Orlando?”

“Empty.”

Nastassia nodded that she understood the meaning behind his words. “She’s in the kitchen. Nicole and I will be upstairs in the playroom so if you need anything you know where we are.”

“Thanks.” Justin watched as the young rapper tackled the stairs and disappeared with his child. Taking a deep breath he shook out his hands and cracked his neck. He had to get himself calm before going to speak to his wife. He couldn’t afford to make any more mistakes with her.

Silently Camille glided across the kitchen floor when she stopped in her tracks, spotting him standing in the front hallway trying collect himself. Her eyes began to water instantly and her hand went to her mouth. Justin looked up suddenly upon noticing the movement and swallowed down the lump in his throat. Camille took a few more steps over to the doorway where she leaned against its frame, crossed her arms over her chest, and stared down at the floor to avoid his eyes. They were both afraid to speak from fear that one of them would say something wrong and ultimately be at fault for their demise.

He still looked the same way that he always did. A mixture of preppy casual wear with a hip-hop twist to it had become his signature. He was wearing one of his baseball caps rocked to the side, a cuff on his left wrist, a red and white jersey with loose fitting jeans, and clean white tennis shoes. She wondered sometimes why he even hired a designer because he didn’t usually need any assistance with what to wear for the day.

Justin removed his hat and racked it on the banister before lethargically making his way over to his wife with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He looked her over as she turned her body to face him, back against the doorframe, and tried to see if she had changed at all in his absence. She lifted her head slightly and stared out of the open front door to see Lonnie finishing the unloading of the SUV and carting suitcases up the walkway for her husband. Somehow the word sounded so foreign to her in that moment. What did the term husband really stand for when most of the men in the nation couldn’t stick with their vows anyway?

When the tear spilled from her eye and left behind a wet streak over the side of her cheek his stomach sank into itself. She didn’t move to stop its voyage but swallowed down the lump in her throat once it sky-dived from her chin. Justin could feel his own tears begin to pool in his eyes and took in a deep breathe to tame them.

“Tell me where it hurts?”

Camille turned to face him and allowed him to step closer to her canceling out the space between their bodies. They both closed their eyes as he brought his forehead down to hers and cupped his hands along her jaw line. Nervously Camille placed her hands on his strong hips and for countless minutes they remained that way. Two lost souls trying to find their way back to one another.

/*/*/

“Ah, Justin’s infamous Chamomile!” the voice of none other than JC Chasez proclaimed as he stepped out of the front door of his friend’s home to see the young woman sitting on the front step looking as lost as ever. “Are we all boring the hell out of you?”

“No,” Camille shook her head and smiled warmly as he sat down at her side on the cement step. “I’m just thinking about some things.”

“Things like what, if you don’t mind my asking?”

Camille sighed inwardly. She wasn’t quite sure how much information she could divulge to this man since she didn’t know him all that well. Justin spoke to him constantly on the phone and a few times she had done so as well but as far as knowing JC personally and actually being in his physical presence she had only seen him three or four times before.

“This about you and Justin?” he prodded gently.

“Well, yes and no.” she fingered a few strands of hair behind her ears and then wrapped her arms around her knees bringing them up to her chest. “It’s just…sometimes I don’t understand why he’s with me. I look back at all of the women that he’s seen in the past and I realize that I am nothing like them.”

“I’m sorry, Camille, but I don’t follow you.”

“While we were in Europe his friend, Robyn, and I were talking.”

“Oh, I remember Robyn! She’s a doll.” JC nodded and then cleared his throat. “She say something to you?”

“Yes, she told me a lot about when he dated Britney Spears and Janet Jackson…and about Cameron Diaz.”

“I see where this is going now.”

“JC, I don’t have anything in common with any of those women besides being in the industry and having the same nickname as Cameron. Think about it. These were all gorgeous and amazingly talented women and to start seeing me after Cameron Diaz? How do you go from someone like her to someone like me? I’m a step down.”

“Maybe you’ve got something that none of those other women had.” he offered up an explanation.

“What would that be? Sitting in the house all day packing on the pounds in front of the television?” she cracked. “I’m sure that he would much rather be surfing in Hawaii, clubbing, and renting out more houses to make passionate love in with some other girl.”

“Robyn told you about that?”

“She told me everything.” Camille exhaled in an attempt to not get herself worked up about something that she hadn’t been around for in the first place. “Why would he want to be with me? Why?”

JC rubbed his hand over her back soothingly. “Justin and I are like brothers and he tells me absolutely everything. I know all about the other girls that he’s been with and I know all about you. He’s done the party girls, the older women, and the ladies living on the edge. The gimmick gets old really quickly and he knows now that that isn’t what he wants.”

“Then what does he want?’

“Baby girl, you don’t know by now?” JC shook his head in disbelief. “He wants you.”

Camille’s lips curved upward as she leaned into JC and allowed him to hug her. She couldn’t believe she let a little bit of history make her question herself. The past was the past.

“All he ever does is talk about you.” JC chuckled. “He says he’s never been happier or more content than when you’re lying together on the couch watching TV. He loves just being around you, being with you…he loves you.”

“He’s lucky that I didn’t meet you first.” Camille joked as the front door behind them opened wide.

“Here you guys are.” Chris Kirkpatrick shook his index finger at the two. “Jace, you’ve got a phone call and Chamomile, J. Timberlake says you’ve got a meeting in his bedroom.”

“Hmm, interesting.” JC grinned as he and Camille stood up and made their way inside after Chris.

“He’s already up there waiting for you.” he informed.

“Thanks, CK.” Camille diverted up the stairs and bounced into the bedroom without knocking. “You rang?”

“Yeah. Sit down a second.” Justin gestured while listening to the voice on the other end of his cell phone.

Camille frowned and took her time walking over to the bed. Sitting down heavily she blew out air and then dropped down onto her back with her eyes roaming over the ceiling. Justin held a stern look on his face as he paced in front of his dresser up until his phone conversation ended.

“Baby, we need to talk.” he announced half-heartedly and set the phone down on the flat surface of the dresser. “You know Barbara Walters from 20/20 is going to be doing an in-home interview with me Thursday evening?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“She’s going to ask about us.”

“Everyone asks about us, Justin.” she drawled and draped a hand over her exposed mid-section where her shirt had rode up when she had laid back onto the bed. “What makes her any different?”

“It’s not her, baby, it’s me.” Justin replied, his tone forcing Camille to sit up and take notice. “Camille, I don’t want to lie to people anymore because the way I feel about you is real. It’s intense. I don’t want what I have with you to be some type of dirty little secret because I know that it’s beautiful.”

“You want to come out with everything? Thursday? With Barbara Walters?”

“That’s up to you right now which is why I wanted to talk to you. If you’re not ready for this then do what was originally planned. We don’t see each other Thursday and Barbara gets a first look at what my life is really like…”

“Without me?”

“That’s exactly my point.” he clenched his jaw tightly. “They’ll get their story and their little glimpse into my life but they won’t be getting the entire picture. It won’t be authentic because the one person that means the most to me won’t be a part of it.”

Camille was silent as her boyfriend came to sit down at her side and continued speaking. “I want to take you places, you know? Things are really good right now between us but I told you from the beginning that I wanted to be the guy that sweeps you off of your feet. I want to take you to exotic islands and out on the town. I want to be able to walk down the street with you and hold your hand and do all of the things that two people in love do. I don’t want to just be your man in private.”

“Justin, I’m not asking you to do that.” she took his hands into hers and held them in her lap. “When we started this relationship the only things I was thinking about were the pitfalls but I didn’t consider the highlights. I don’t enjoy downplaying what we have. Everyday I just want to profess to the world that I’m with you. I want to just scream it out at the top of my lungs.”

“Then why don’t you?”

Camille stood up from the bed, releasing his hands, and walked out onto the balcony. As loud as she could she shouted out that she was in love with him, that she was his girl, and that he was her man. Justin nibbled the inside of his lip as she came back to sit with him.

“That felt really good.” she commented. “I think I’ll do it again Thursday when Mrs. Walters arrives.”

“Really now?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll answer the door in one of your shirts with my hair messed up and walking funny. What do you think they’ll say about that?”

“I think you should move in with me,” was his reply though completely off subject.

“Right. Okay.” Camille rolled her eyes assuming that he was being sarcastic and making a joke.

“Baby, I’m serious.” Justin cupped a hand over the side of her face. “Think about it, okay? It would give us so much more time together and what’s the difference really? I’m either always at your house or you’re always at mine. Why don’t we just cancel out all the traveling time and move in together?”

“You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack.” he nodded. “What do you think?”

“I think my parents are going to kill you for even thinking something like that.” she answered honestly. “I can already hear my mother’s mouth about it…”

****

“Camille, no! No! What are you thinking?” Linda shouted loudly after her daughter had finished sharing her news with her. “You’re only nineteen years old! You don’t need to be moving in with some twenty-three year old man!”

“I knew this was going to happen.” Camille shook her head, arms folded over her chest as she sat on the couch, with her leg swaying back and forth through the air.

“Why do you want to do this? Huh? Why?”

“I just do, mom. We’re together all of the time anyway so it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Are you having sex with him?”

“What?! No! He knows that I’m waiting until I get married to do that!”

“So does he plan on marrying you?”

“How should I know that?” she stared at her mother cynically.

“He asked you to move into his house with him, Camille, so there’s got to be some sort of ulterior motive to this.” Linda stated pointedly, hands implanted on her hips as she stood before her child.

“I thought you liked Justin?”

“I do like Justin, Camille, but it’s not about that. I just don’t think that at this age you’re ready to take a step like this. I understand that you’re feeling all of these new things and that he’s treating you like no one else ever has but this is too quick. Neither of you knows where this will go.”

“If it’s a mistake, mom, then let it be mine, okay? I didn’t come here to ask your permission about it. I just came to let you know what was going on so you didn’t come to visit me at my house and get the wind knocked out of you upon realizing that I don’t live there anymore.”

“So you’re going to sell you house now? You just bought that place.”

“I’m not selling it. You remember my roommate Amanda from my little stint at college?” she asked. “Well, I’m renting out the place to her and her boyfriend.”

“I just don’t understand what the rush is. I don’t want you ending up pregnant. You’ll be so close that sex is going to be inevitable.”

“Even if I did get pregnant, which I’m not going to get, I already surpassed you, grandma, and Big Ma.” Camille brought up the last few generations of baby makers in her family. “Seventeen, eighteen, and eighteen, ma. I’m not on the same game plan.”

“I’m just saying that you should be careful. You’re young and you have a lot of life laid out ahead of you.” Linda sighed heavily and tried to see things from her daughter’s point of view. “You’ve got this wonderful career on the horizon. Don’t get sidetracked and forget about what’s important. Keep your priorities straight.”

“I’ve got it, mom.” Camille stood up from the couch and pulled her car keys out of her jacket pocket. “Thanks for the support.”

“I support you one-hundred percent. If you want to do this then do it. I don’t have anything else to say about it. Justin’s a good kid and I’m sure he’ll take care of you.”

“What makes you think I won’t be the one taking care of him?”

“Same difference.” Linda shrugged. “Your father called.”

“What did he say?”

“He wants you to come to a family barbecue back home in Wisconsin this weekend. Everyone is going to be there and they haven’t seen you in ages. You should bring Justin with you.”

“You think so?”

“Your father has never met him. No one in the family really knows about the person you’re seeing besides me and a few of your cousins that visited us here in California.” she explained. “Besides, obviously the two of you are getting quite serious so maybe it’s about that time for the introductions. Have you met all of his relatives yet?”

“I haven’t met his family in Tennessee yet.”

“Maybe on your downtime the two of you should consider letting a few people know.”

“Trust me, mom. More than a few people are going to know by the end of the week.” Camille assured her before making her way out.

/*/*/

Her entire body convulsed with her tears as she stood in the kitchen doorway with Justin whom in turn was crying as well. Lonnie had finished loading everything just inside of the front doorway and had closed the door to grant them as much privacy as possible. Without delay he and Dre had driven away to submerge themselves into something less emotional.

“Oh, god.” Camille breathed heavily and Justin lifted his head to stare into her eyes noticing the pained expression that she held. He watched her hand go to cover her heart before silently asking her what was going on with his eyes. She shook her head as to pass it off but he wasn’t about to take that answer.

“It’s beating too fast and too hard?” he questioned, moving her hand and replacing it with his own to check for himself. “Shit.”

“I’m fine.” she struggled to breathe.

“You’re not. You’re about to fucking pass out because your stress level is too high. Look at me.” he locked eyes with her and breathed slowly encouraging her to follow his lead. “Slow, deep breaths, okay?”

Camille nodded and breathed in deeply. This wasn’t the first time that something like this had happened with her. There had been a few times in her life that could have sent her careening over the edge and luckily Justin had been around to get her through the tougher times. The downfall was that this time he was the cause of it.

“Here, feel my heart.” he took her right hand and brought it to the left side of his chest while he kept his own hand over her racing heart. “Close your eyes and concentrate on that for me, okay? Try to match your heartbeat with mine.”

“Okay.”

“Nastassia!” Justin called at the top of his lungs and heard the door upstairs to the playroom open and one set of footsteps quickly making their way down the stairs.

“What’s wrong?” she stared at them both quizzically seeing the tears streaming from Camille’s closed eyes.

“I need you to get a glass of milk from the refrigerator but warm it up so I can give it to her.”

“She okay?”

“She’ll be fine. She’s just going into a little overload right now so I want to make sure to get her calmed down before it becomes something big.”

Nastassia nodded and walked passed them and into the kitchen to fulfill his request. Once finding a cup in the cupboard and withdrawing the gallon of milk from the refrigerator she poured the contents into the cup. A second later she had it in the microwave on high waiting patiently for it to heat up.

“It’s getting back to normal.” Justin reported to his wife as she nodded her head. “It still hurts though, right?” he waited for her to nod again before leaning down and kissing her chest to make the pain go away like his daughter had told him to do. “Don’t let me get you this worked up, okay? I don’t want to lose you.”

She wanted to say that he had already lost her. He had lost everything that they had had together the day he messed around on her. She wanted to say a million and one things that would most likely break his heart but she couldn’t find it inside of herself to do so. She loved him too much to hurt him the way that he had hurt her.

“I never want to lose you again.” his voice was barely above a whisper as he pressed his lips to hers half expecting her to turn away from him or slap her hand across his face. When he found that she wasn’t about to fight him he kissed her again and felt all of the old feelings that they had at one time shared rip through him.

Nastassia cleared her throat, reluctant to interrupt, and handed him the cup of warmed milk when he came to attention. As he delivered it to his wife whom sipped lightly, she pat him on the back and then made her way back up the stairs to the playroom. Just as Justin had called her Nicole had started to ask questions instead of playing with her toys and her questions needed to be answered.

“Okay, sweetie, I’m back.” she announced as she entered the room and came to sit down in front of her niece whom was playing with her Barbie Dolls.

“Are mommy and daddy okay, downstairs?” Nicole asked with a look of concern on her gentle face.

“Of course they are, honey. Is that what you wanted to ask me before?”

“No,” she shook her head shyly and put down her dolls. Nastassia could tell that she was afraid to ask her question but didn’t want her to hold back. She knew that she shouldn’t hold things inside of her because if there was anything that she had learned in her lifetime it was that if you kept harboring things they would eventually resurface in unpleasant ways.

Carefully she lifted Nicole into her arms and sat her down in her lap hugging her tightly. “Tell me what’s on your mind, princess.”

Nicole’s chin began to quiver as her usually bright and excited eyes began to fill with solution. “Do my mommy and daddy still love each other?”

“Oh, sweetheart! Yes, they still love each other! What would make you think that they don’t?”

“Because daddy left and he didn’t come back for a long time!” she cried.

“Your daddy was working. He had to go and perform.”

“No! He and mommy were fighting and he made her cry so he went away!”

“Jesus,” Nastassia adjusted the small girl in her arms so that she could hold her and look into her eyes at the same time. “Your mommy and daddy did have a fight but that didn’t make them love each other any less. They’re still in love and are very much in love with you. You mean everything to them, honey.”

“Is daddy going to move away?”

“No, no. He would never leave you and your mommy. He loves you guys way too much to be away from you for too long.”

“I don’t want him to make her cry anymore. I don’t like it when mommy cries.” Nicole sniffled.

“Trust me, honey, I don’t think he’ll try to make her cry ever again. He doesn’t like hurting her.”

“So things will be okay again?”

“Yeah!” Nastassia smiled at her niece brightly. “Things will be better than ever. Don’t you worry, okay?”

/*/*/…////

“The interview that Justin had with 20/20 was truly the turning point.” Lynn enlightened the VH1 crew as the sun began to set in the sky. “Up until then he and Camille had been dodging bullets and shying away from really answering any questions about their relationship. They had grown tired of denying things and had simply begun to not answer the questions anymore. It was Barbara Walters though, whom is an amazing lady, that provided them that vessel to come clean in front of the world.”

“Why did the couple decide to break the news with Barbara than with any other journalist?” Gary asked, checking his wristwatch once the cameras had shifted back to Mrs. Harless. It was getting late.

“There is a lot of dignity in sitting down in an interview with Barbara Walters and she’s easy to talk to. She gets what needs to be heard out and that’s why she’s at the top of her respective field. She becomes your friend.”

“Now, we’ve got the tape of that particular episode of 20/20. Is it true that at that time Justin and Camille were already living together though there were conflicting reports about that?”

“They were living together.” Lynn nodded her head. “Camille had just started to move in when that interview happened. Needless to say her parents weren’t too thrilled with the idea and I have to say that I was a little weary myself seeing how Justin’s first adventure with living with a girlfriend hadn’t worked out. They were young and in love though so they were going to do what they wanted to do no matter what.”

///

“You didn’t really bring anything, did you?” Justin commented as he assisted his girlfriend in unpacking her clothes, hanging them up in his closet and folding them into his dresser drawers that he had set aside for her.

“I left a lot of stuff for Amanda. What would I really do with all of the furniture? You’ve got everything covered.” she replied and lifted a short turquoise nightie with pink lacing along the hemline from Victoria’s Secret into the air from one of her suitcases.

“When did you get that?”

“A while ago.” she started to fold it and place it into the drop drawer with the rest of her lingerie.

“It’s an obligation now for you to wear that at least once a day.” Justin informed her of his demands point blank.

“Awfully demanding, aren’t we?”

“Ha, you knew what you were getting into, mama.” he lifted a pair of thongs from her suitcase and dangled it in the air with his index finger. “What is this supposed to cover?”

“Justin!” she snatched them from his hand and threw them into the drawer quickly. “You’re going to make me move all of my stuff into the guest house.”

“I’m done! I’m done!” he held his hands up in the air then reached out to direct her into his arms. “I’m so happy that you’ll be living here with me now.”

“How happy are you?” Camille giggled, feeling him breathe against her back as he wrapped her tightly in his arms.

“I’m mad excited about this.” he took her lips into his own when she turned her head to face him. The very second that he had moved his tongue into her mouth the doorbell rang. The swearing afterwards was untamable. “They’re fucking early!”

“I’m going to go answer the door.”

“Let’s go together.”

“Good deal.” she giggled like a small child as he allowed her to jump onto his back and then made his way out of the room and down the stairs carrying her. “Oo, this is so exciting! I’ve never met Barbara Walters before.” she commented and jumped down off of his back once they had gotten to the door.

“Then it’s your lucky day.” he joked and spun her around in front of him so that she was flat against the door with her hands pinned up above her head by his.

“What are you doing?”

“Sh, be quiet.” Justin stared into her eyes lustfully and attacked her lips with his own. He had never kissed her that way before. It was wild and animalistic and she had to admit that it was definitely a turn on to be making out the way that they were with people just outside the door.

The doorbell rang once more as he explored her mouth with his tongue and leisurely ran his hands down her arms until they were down at her waist and her arms had draped over his shoulders. Tenderly he kissed her one last time and rubbed his nose over hers before waiting for her to calm down so that he could open the door for the 20/20 camera crew.

“Hey, I’m sorry about that. We didn’t hear the door from out back.” he lied once welcoming the camera man, sound guy, lighting director and Barbara Walters herself into his home cordially.

Camille wiped her mouth with the back of her hand quickly while no one was watching as they all shook hands with Justin. It wasn’t but a moment later when they realized that she was in the room and the chitter-chatter came to a standstill. They weren’t expecting to see her there at all. It was true that Barbara had planned on questioning Justin about his relationship with her but never in a million years had she expected him to be so blatant with his statement of the truth.

“Camille Henderson?” she cocked her head to the side and shook the young woman’s hand. “We weren’t expecting to see you here.”

Justin licked his bottom lip seductively as he stared into his girlfriend’s eyes from behind the journalist as if to issue her a challenge. He didn’t really expect her to scream out her adoration for him at the top of her lungs because that would make her insane. However, he was very much interested on if she would be completely honest or beat around the bush.

“Actually,” she shifted her eyes from his to Barbara’s. “My boyfriend wanted me to be here today so that the whole truth of the way he’s living could be shown.”

“Your boyfriend?” the older woman stammered.

“Justin.” she clarified.

“So the two of you have actually started to see each other exclusively?”

“We’ve been exclusive and quite serious for a while now. We just figured that it was about time that we stopped hiding the way we feel and be completely honest with our fans and the public at large.”

Justin winked at his girlfriend before clearing his throat to get everyone’s attention. “I think the best place to set up would be in the living room because it has great natural lighting and is very spacious so if you don’t mind following me I’ll lead you there.”

Lead The Way...