Harmony's note: It is recommended that you read Episode 5 of Survivor before attempting this...or you might think, what is my Quatre doing?!
When Quatre�s sisters filed down the stairs, Heero and Trowa were holding back Wufei, who was kicking his legs in the air, snarling and yapping. Duo and Quatre were huddled together in a corner of the den, trying to give each other support. Wufei was really scary.
"Let me at them! Let me at them!" Wufei was yelling. He kicked at Heero and Trowa but they just stood there like solid statues, not feeling a thing.
"I don�t think I can take it any longer," Duo sniffed. He turned away from Wufei and buried his face into Quatre�s shoulder. Quatre, clucking like a mother, patted Duo reassuringly on the head.
"Can�t you do something?" he asked Heero and Trowa, gesturing towards Duo. Duo was seriously beginning to break down. His runny nose was dripping all over Quatre�s vest.
Heero and Trowa looked at one another. With two lightning-fast chops, they simultaneously thwacked Wufei upside of the head. Wufei�s mouth hung open in surprise for a second, and then he fainted.
"Thank you," Quatre said. He looked down at Duo, who was still clinging onto him rather tightly, almost ripping his shirt apart. "There, there now, everything is fine. The bad man won�t hurt you anymore."
Duo made a really disgusting noise with his nose, as if he was slurping orange juice through a straw, then slowly looked up. When he realized what he was doing to Quatre, he quickly pushed himself away and rolled as far as possible. Quatre very calmly took out a tissue and started wiping his vest.
They both crawled over to look at Wufei. Even unconscious, Wufei looked like he was the king of the world. Duo cautiously reached out a finger and poked Wufei on the nose. Nothing.
"Haha! The god of death strikes again!" he cried, doing a little dance. Heero and Trowa didn�t say anything. Who cares who took the credit, as long as the mission was accomplished?
Duo started slapping Wufei�s face, taking advantage of Wufei�s stillness. He grabbed Wufei�s cheeks and distorted it to his liking.
"Uh, Duo�" Quatre said, getting a little worried. Duo ignored him and continued to have his fun.
All of a sudden, Wufei�s eyes snapped open and he lunged towards Duo. Duo tried to run away, but he didn�t get very far.
"Serpent�s revenge!" Wufei cried and, grabbing Duo�s braid, twisted it around several times. All that everyone saw was a blur of arm and hair and in the next second, Duo was being strangled by his own braid.
"Eowk!" Duo cried. He grasped his own hair and tugged. "Ow!" he cried and promptly gave that up. His legs scrabbled about on the floor while Wufei dragged him backwards, strangling him even more.
"Everybody stay away!" Wufei cried.
Heero and Trowa stopped, obedient to his orders. Quatre shook his head and ran to look for help. Wufei, spotting him, whipped out a sinewy arm and grasped Quatre�s vest, spinning him around. Quatre�s arms got completely tangled in the armholes and, before he knew it, his head was locked in a deathgrip underneath Wufei�s arm. "Serpent�s revenge!" Wufei cried again and did the blurry motion several times. When the dust cleared, Duo was under one arm, Quatre under the other, both being strangled by Wufei.
Quatre couldn�t breathe. He grabbed Duo�s thick braid from around his neck and pulled.
"OW!" Duo cried.
Quatre stopped. What was he to do?
While Wufei had been distracted with Quatre, Trowa had gone to the kitchen. Opening a drawer, he drew out a long, sharp knife and walked back to the den. He took his time.
Heero stood where he was, still obeying Wufei�s orders. His mission did not cover this.
Duo and Quatre�s faces were turning blue. They both took turns kicking at Wufei but since Wufei normally slept on a rock-hard bed anyway, he didn�t feel a thing..
Trowa finally came around with the knife. Standing in front of Wufei, he casually held the knife in one hand, looking in all the world like he was about to cut cake. He raised an eyebrow in question.
Months of living with Trowa had enabled Duo and Quatre to understand Trowa�s sign language. Translation: cut braid, or no?
Quatre nodded his head "yes" while Duo shook his head "no". They glared at each other.
"That�s enough!" Wufei cried and went in for the kill the same time Trowa threw his knife. The knife flew true and made its cut.
Duo and Quatre both collapsed onto the floor.
"What the hell are you trying to do to my armpit?!" Wufei cried, grasping himself under the arm. Blood welled where Trowa�s knife had struck.
Trowa shrugged, grabbed up the bloody steak knife and casually washed it in the sink.
"My�my hair," Duo cried, tears welling to his eyes. The end of his braid hung limp over his shoulder.
"It�s okay," Quatre said, trying to make him feel better. That braid was like Duo�s baby. He even hugged it when he went to sleep.
Duo solemnly drew his braid forward to take one last look at it.
"Ow!"
Duo grabbed the base of his braid, then cautiously ran his fingers down the entire length. The ENTIRE length.
"It�s�it�s a miracle!" he cried.
Trowa shrugged his shoulders. Not really, he thought. He never missed.
"Ow!" Duo cried again when something slapped him on the nose. He looked down into his palm.
In it was a single, broken rubber band.
Uh, oh.
The last time something like this happened, Quatre�
Duo quickly looked up. Quatre was busy tending Wufei�s wound. Good, he hadn�t noticed anything. Yet.
Once again, Duo�s braid was beginning to splay rapidly, now that it had nothing with which to tie it closed. Duo had to find another rubber band!
"So, anyone have another hair elastic?" he asked, then quickly clamped his hands above his mouth.
Too late, Quatre had already looked over. "I�" Quatre said, starting to rifle through his pockets, then stopped. He stared at Duo. His beautiful woody-coloured hair creature was back!
Duo and Quatre both screamed, Duo of fright and Quatre of joy.
"I haven�t seen you in a month! Where have you been?" Quatre cried, running over to Duo. He knelt in front of Duo and started examining Duo�s body, running his fingers all over, to make sure that his beautiful creature was indeed back. Duo frantically slapped his hands away and twirled about and ran.
He slammed right into a wall of Quatre�s sisters. They had finally come down and now they were looking at Quatre�s odd behaviour with a curious expression.
"Quick, quick, gimme an elastic! Gimme an elastic!" Duo cried, running back and forth, Quatre chasing after him.
All of Quatre�s sisters looked at him weirdly, then shook their heads. It wasn�t the Arabian way to constrict ones hair.
"Arrrgh, no!" he cried when Quatre grabbed his heel. They both fell onto the floor. "Gimme�an elastic," Duo gasped, pulling himself across the floor with his elbows. Behind him, Quatre was still clinging onto his foot.
"Quatre, that is enough," said one of Quatre�s sisters, Duo wasn�t sure who. But she was sure pretty though.
Reaching down, she grabbed Quatre by the back of his collar, dangling him above the ground. Quatre was still holding onto Duo�s foot and Duo tried to claw away, his body raised at a forty-five degree angle.
"Quatre, you have been a bad boy," she scolded. Quatre wasn�t even listening. He was still caught under the spell of his beautiful creature, who had finally come back to him after that long week on Survivor. He held Duo�s foot tighter, refusing to let go.
"And, for your punishment, we have decided to bring you shopping with us so that you could go back to your kindly ways," she continued, then released Quatre. Quatre fell to the floor with a thump, still holding onto Duo�s leg.
Duo just lay on the ground, panting in exhaustion. Quatre crawled up to him and bent down, gently parting Duo�s messy hair. "Are you all right?" he asked.
"I need�an elastic�," Duo breathed to no one in particular. Quatre began dragging him across the floor towards a couch. The other boys, who had been watching this strange spectacle the entire time, continued watching.
"I�ll go make some popcorn," Trowa said and went into the kitchen. Heero and Wufei nodded, eyes riveted to Duo and Quatre. This was even more interesting than watching those daytime soaps.
Quatre�s sisters left the room, presumably to get ready for shopping. That left the boys all alone for at least two hours.
Now, Quatre had dragged Duo onto a couch and Quatre was sitting at one end, Duo�s head on his lap and stroking Duo�s hair. He was singing a soft lullaby.
"Popcorn�s ready," Trowa called, and brought over the jumbo-sized bag. Heero and Wufei both nodded absently and all three of them took a seat across from Duo and Quatre, munching on the popcorn and watching what would happen next.
Quatre continued humming quietly to himself while Duo twisted and turned in his lap, caught in a living nightmare. Why did he always feel so weak whenever this happened?
"Quick�," he rasped to the other three boys, "�give me an elastic�an elastic�."
Trowa, Heero, and Wufei just continued watching, munching on their popcorn. It was as if a television screen was put between them and Quatre and Duo, and all they could do was observe.
"Kill the weakling!" Wufei cheered, slapping his knee.
Quatre looked up. "No!" he cried and hugged Duo closer. "Don�t worry, my sweet," Quatre whispered in his ear. "I won�t let the bad man hurt you."
Everyone raised their eyebrows at that. "I�ll make some more popcorn," Trowa said, and left to fill up three more jumbo-sized bags full.
When he got back, Quatre was excitedly telling Duo all about his home country of Arabia and about the romance and riches that they would find there if only his beloved angel would follow him. Duo shook his head no but he looked at Quatre sharply when Quatre mentioned riches.
"Kiss the angel," Trowa whispered as he walked past and took a seat between Heero and Wufei, an amused expression on his face. Heero and Wufei looked at Trowa and wondered what was so funny but Trowa only ducked his head so that his bangs covered his face. His shoulders continued shaking as he smothered his chuckles. Heero and Wufei shrugged and continued watching Duo and Quatre, each grabbing a bag of popcorn.
Quatre�s head perked up. What was that he heard in the wind? Was it an omen? Was it a voice from heaven, asking him to�?
Quatre looked down at the beautiful creature. So beautiful, he thought.
From the couch across, Trowa snickered. Heero and Wufei both looked at Trowa. Never had they seen their emotionless friend so alive before. They shivered and continued watching.
Quatre was contemplating, a finger on his lips. Should he, or shouldn�t he? Maybe a little peck wouldn�t hurt.
Quatre cleared his throat and bent down, closer and closer. This would be his first kiss and this would be the sweetest. He closed his eyes.
Just then, Heero choked on a popcorn kernel. Heero pounded his own chest with a balled up fist, coughing and wheezing. When that didn�t work, Trowa reached behind him and pounded him on the back.
POP! The spit-festooned kernel flew out of Heero�s mouth. It flew and it flew until it landed on Duo and whacked him one on the nose.
"Ow," Duo whined, reaching up a hand to rub it. Why was everything slapping his nose today?
Quatre felt some skin against his lips. It was so soft and smooth; he really liked it so he just continued kissing and kissing and kissing�.
Duo tried to rub his nose but something was in the way. Okaaaaaaaaay, what was Quatre doing to his hand? It felt like an octopus had its suckers stuck on it.
Gathering up all his strength, Duo did his best imitation of Wufei�s chop-suey scream. He jerked his hand up�and slugged Quatre on the chin.
"Oh, my," Quatre breathed as he raised his head. He didn�t know that his first kiss would hurt so.
Duo took this chance to roll onto the floor. He squirmed underneath the coffee table and, seeing Heero�s feet, grabbed it and wouldn�t let go.
"Help me," Duo rasped, tugging on his sock. Heero just looked down on him with an emotionless expression. As far as Heero was concerned, he was still watching t.v. He hugged his popcorn to him possessively.
Somebody laughed. Everyone looked over to Duo, but Duo was just panting and wheezing on the carpet, too tired to do anything else.
Everybody searched the room for several minutes, looking for the source. It was finally traced back to the couch�where Trowa was sitting.
Heero and Wufei scooted away from Trowa for at least a foot. Trowa just continued laughing and laughing. Never in his life had he been so entertained.
He stood up and Heero and Wufei jumped. With an amused smile on his face, Trowa drew out an elastic band from his pocket and flicked it towards Duo. Then he walked away, still chuckling.
As if the elastic band had some magical effect, Duo�s strength returned to him. He quickly grabbed the rubber band and in a record five seconds, re-braided his hair.
"Aaaaaah," he sighed and collapsed against the couch.
Quatre was sitting on the couch across from them, looking around confusedly. What just happened?
Heero and Wufei, now that no more action was happening, made twin smirks and left the room. Duo was sure that were there a power off button, they would have pressed it.
"You know, I had the strangest dream�" Quatre said, looking at Duo. He tilted his head and looked at him oddly.
Uh, oh, Duo thought. Not again!
"Where have you been?" Quatre asked, walking towards him. He reached down a hand�.
"Get away from me!" Duo screamed and jumped up.
Quatre recoiled. "I was merely trying to help you, Duo," he said, looking a little hurt.
Duo�s mouth opened and closed for several seconds. "What did you just call me?"
Quatre, looking a little afraid, said, "Uhh�Duo?"
"You sure I�m Duo?" Duo asked with complete earnesty. "I want to make absolutely sure."
"Yes," Quatre replied, wondering if Duo was going cuckoo.
"Yaay, yaay, I�m Duo!" Duo cried, jumping around the coffee table.
"Uh�are you sure you�re okay?" Quatre asked, getting more than a little worried.
"Of course I�m okay!" Duo cried. "I�m Duo!"
"Yes, you are Duo," Quatre said, trying to calm him down. Duo was really beginning to scare him.
"You know, little buddy, you can be so aggressive at times," Duo said putting an arm around his shoulder.
"Me�I can?" Duo really needed to go see a doctor.
Duo nodded drunkenly and they both walked off to the stairs to see if Quatre�s sisters were ready to go shopping.
Quatre was thinking. For some reason, looking at Duo gave him deja vu. He racked his brains, trying to remember.
And why did his chin hurt so much?
And here ends part three of the ongoing saga of Quatre's sisters. Will Quatre and Duo be able to survive the shopping trip and come back home in one piece? Stay tuned for part four of...(dramatic music)...Quatre's Sisters!
Part Four: Shopping!
Back to "fan" fiction =P