Kinotos is not responsible for hurt feelings.
All answers will be posted on this page in 48 hours, or when I feel like it.
Do I have a crush
Damn, the ladies are all over Kinotos. Kinotos has crushes on all the sexy ladies... assuming you are one... uh... if your not then, uh, yeah, I'll crush you out of my way to the pretty ladies. If your a guy, then I understand, I am a sexy bastard, you'll have no choice but to admire me from a distance... please.
Do you think Thong is cool?
Only when we are heads-up and I win... so yes, but at extremely infrequent intervals.
Does god exist?
Of course, Timmy. I talk to him a couple times a week. Nice guy, except for the constant nagging about my popularity. Jealous bastard.
A shep, a Walri, an octopus, and TINS are playing
no-limit hold'em ...who would emerge as the victor?
I ran this situation through the super computer at the Pentagon and here are the results.
1st: Octopus - After flying ink hits his victorious opponents in the face after every hand, someone is bound to go on tilt. Also it is nearly impossible to track every extremity when and if he is dealing of the bottom.
2nd: TINS - No one can read someone if not even they know what cards they hold.
3rd: Shep - Ejected after tapping 3 mountains to incinerate the Walri.
4th: Walri - Was conviced that if he let people finish ahead of him that he might make a friend.
has timmy ever been molested by that teacher waiting
after school in the cold rain, oh so ready to offer a ride home?
For the record I have never legaly held a teacher's licence in any state... After that completely unrelated statement, I would tend to venture towards yes...
does rob suck at life?
Yes.. Rob is somewhere between a crack whore and hired muscle... unless he is a crack whore... then just crack whore.
How much paradage does it take to screw in a 100-watt
lightbulb... outside during a hailstorm?
First of all Timmy, paradage does not do anything but parade, so I'll assume that you mean anti, which is paradage when paradage is not parading. If you are at all confused, find the nearest dumpster and hurl yourself into it. But to answer your question, it would take zero, because any anti could find some poor shlub to do it for them.
Dear Dr. Phil,
Please explain the use of the three sea shells utilized in public
restrooms as referenced in the the Stallone motion picture masterpiece,
Demolition Man.
The only difference between myself and... Mr. Phil (?)... Is that he needs to grow his mustache a little longer so he can groom it into a full comb-over so no one has to look at his retarded self. For all of the ingnorents out there, a "full mustache comb-over" is an unordinarily long mustache that is combed over the face and the bald head, thus serving the duality of the "full" comb-over.
Although I can't divulge that infomation, Timmy, I can supply you with a related tale. For all of you that don't know his Stalloneness, Mr. Stallone is as baddass in real life as he is in his movies, or as I like to call them, documentaries. During the making of this particular Stallonecapade, a particularly humerous and badass event of Stallone's making ocurred involving the three sea shells. After an annoying Sandra Bullock asked precisely the same question then contrived a snorted laugh, Stallone decided to demonstrate by cramming one in each of her orifaces and then superkicking her through a wall. Landing ironically in a bathroom stall, Dennis Leary proceeded to spit on the unconsious heap of annoyance after he took his crap in the adjacent stall. Stallone went on to win four Oscars for best degradation of Sandra Bullock.
Marquette recently changed its name from the Golden
Eagles to simply "Gold." Reccomend a nickname that is not nearly as
flamingly homosexual.
I think you hit the nail on the head there, Timmy. Flaming Homosexuals would be a great name. Who would want to play tight defense on 5 guys that would enjoy sweaty men all over them. If the opposing team is afraid to touch them, they'd win every game. Genious, Timmy.
Today is Cinco de Mayo. What else can I do in order
to keep the raving Mexican population in check in addition to the miles
of barbed wire fences and bear traps that I already have set up?
You don't need all of that, Timmy. Just replace all of the flour tortillas in the area with hamburger buns, and that will ruin any enthusiasm they might have had.
Summer is here and so the ladies bring out the tank tops and short skirts. Why are boobies so awesome?
I may know the answer, but I will not let my standard of accuracy fall into the pits of degradation. I have no alternative but to henceforth conduct a purely scientific study on the awesomeness in question. Any willing participants of proper proportion (and gender...) are invited to contact the Kinotos via this site. Any inhibitions due to fear of scandle can be put to rest, for I will be donning my scientist's hat for the sake of proffesionalism. Also to ensure the integrity of experimental study, all participants must be between twenty and thirty years of age, be without spouse, and attractive.
sdaf
Yes.
Who is the greatest musical artist of the past
century?
All kidding aside, Timmy, it's me. I'm the greatest musical artist of all time. I Don't eat slime. I go to bed on time. I eat cloves of garlic if you don't mind. Wooaaahahaaa Yeah! I will be playing at Norgerburg Middle School on the 25th.
Who is my baby daddy?
You're not getting any more money out of me... I made those damn payments.... See you at Christmas.
What's the deal with grapenuts? You open the box, no
grapes, no nuts. What's up with that?
If you knew your classic litrature, Timmy, you'd know that Grape`nutas in Latin translates to "little children".
can you lick your own back? can Thong lick your
back?
Why? Why would I do that? That's what I have a dog for.
Why is Stallone making Rocky 6 when he now has
man-boobs?
First of all, let's assume you are correct when you imply that His Stalloneness has indeed formed spherical sagging protrusions from his upper chest. If this is indeed true, then I can assure you that they are highly technologically advanced boob-like structures that deter and halt any armor piercing projectiles, and also shield himself and any characters that are plot-necessary from most long-range artillery.
On a related note, Mr. Stallone has informed me he is considering Rambo IV.
will shknnbkn win this tourny
Yes, Timmy, he will win... in fact he will win it twice... that's right, in the same tournament he will place 1st, and 1st respectively.
will shknnbkn ever beat nutzbuster. We all
know the answer to this. NEVER
Timmy, you are so naive... nutzbuster will be crying in bed tonight... partly because he will have lost to shknnbkn in this tourny.
Can the homeless ever go to college?
Well, Timmy, the homeless tend to migrate towards collegiate areas because of the round-the-clock activity, so all a homeless person would have to do is take a short walk over to the nearest classroom and sit down. Yes, it's easily possible. I assume that you were intending to ask a slightly different question, but your inquiry was not specific enough for me to take my precious time answering the question you were supposed to ask... It's because of my blatant disregard for conventional conversation... to which I ecstatically do not partake. Kinotos' time is oh so precious! You will never know the answer to the 'real' question!... unless you submit another inquiry.