More poetry

For Eric and Erica.

I sat hudled in the dark
crying

I still hurt, and there was still blood
and my brother and his girlfriend
they tried to protect me

but who can be everywhere
at all times?

and so it happened
more than once
more than twice
and even when I ran
they caught me

and so, broken and alone
I wandered
not really crying
for what mechanical
and emotionless thing
need feel pain?

But sometimes people
want to help
and so two did
to shelter me
because they saw
my haunted eyes and heard
my stumbling voice
that couldn't force out words
for even my whispers were stuttered

two new friends, twins
found me...but I don't even know where
for I was lost, without caring
they quietly took me away
and protected me until I could see
the world around me once again
though through different eyes
someone else's uncaring gaze

And slowly
with patience and great time
I learned to trust
those two
and too quickly
that still it is a dream
I lost them both

Something I needed so desperately
companionship I'd never had
I learned to yearn for
and recieve each day
like a mindless puppy
I was glad to be near them
to know they didn't mind me near

And the grief of their loss
struck me harder than the hands of my assailants
was more painful than the fists
more horrifying than the involuntary loss of my innocence
and as surprising to me as the blood that I do not remember spilling.