Well... how to start...

I am a 31 year old crossdresser (or am I transgendered? Judge for yourself) from cologne, germany. I started dressing at the age of 5 or 6, I can't remember exactly when. At that age I didn't think about crossdressing or transvestitism, it was just fun as long as you weren't caught by your parents! :-(

Coming into puberty my dressing definitely got a fetishistic edge. I dressed up (it felt so good wearing female clothing), jerked of and had feelings of guilt after that. I think this was mostly because if my parents knew they would freak out.

At age 20 I had to join the german Bundeswehr ( ;-) the army didn't make a man out of me). Being there I only had the chance to dress up at the weekends, and I must have gotten careless, because my parents found out and it got nasty. To make a long story short... I went once to a psychiatrist and we (my parents and me) never talked about it again.

After the Army I studied computer sciences. It was there I had the first contact with Internet. It was a kind of revelation... there were people out there like me. From then on I got hooked to the net. But I remained lurking, just reading Newgroups like Alt.Transgendered and the like.

Not long after I met my wife (at age 24). At that time I was playing FRG (Fantasy Roleplaying Games) with a group of friends and she joined us, to see what fantasy roleplaying was like. We instantly liked each other and soon after we were a couple. We experimented sexually a lot and about half a year later she asked me if I would like to try on one of her skirts and use some makeup. I said to myself: "No or never" and did it. From then one we sometimes both wore nylons, halters and bustiers while having sex and it was a lot of fun.

Later on I began to build up my own wardrobe, first unsure what style to choose. I also began to let my hair grow to its current length (as you can see on the pic its rather long for a male).

Over the years I began to dress more and more and began to accept my female side as part of me. Wearing female clothes just felt right (and senseous too :-)). If you ask me today wether I feel more like a man or a woman, I can't say. So I am kind of intergendered or something like that.

Right now I am getting divorced and its a time of new beginnings. I've tried sex with another man (something I have had fantasies about for a long long time) and it was just as good as with a woman. I am going out more often as Olivia and I've even been out in broad day light.

To be continued...

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