by Jeremy Wayne Couch
As we drove into the night
you told me of a girl
you felt had betrayed you
Hatred dripped from your mouth
I shuddered as you mangled her
with your words
You told me how you abandoned her
in a town she had never been in before
"But do not worry," you said to me
"I'm not going to abandon you.
I'm going to kill you."
I looked in your eyes
Cold truth stared back at me
As much as you had hated the girl
you hated me even more
For a moment, I felt fear
but only for a moment
The car was flying so fast
wheels barely touching the road
there was no chance of survival
if I tried to leap out now
There was nothing I could do
I knew I was going to die
Having made that realization
I was no longer afraid
Why fear a fate you cannot escape
I withdrew into myself
By the time I re-emerged
the city lights had long since
hidden behind the horizon
Eventually we reached our destination
a cove made out of hay bales
We stopped and sat in silence
Even through the car's metal shell
I could feel the cold
seeking out my warm, life blood
as a moth seeks the flame
"At last," you said
"It has been too long."
Before I realized what you were doing
my vest was laying across the back seat
Suddenly I was ashamed
the clothes I wore were the ones
that made the girls want to dance with me
Yes, I had worn them to make you want me
but it was a union of love I sought
not merely a union of lust
I tried to explain this to you
but I realized this had been your intention
all along
as you pulled the back seat forward
reaching for the blanket
in the now exposed trunk
I told you not to do this
three times I told you
each time, more fear crept into my voice
but you either did not notice
or did not care
I tried to push you away
I grabbed your wrists
holding them in the air
but you were stronger than I
Slowly your hands descended towards me
I thought of trying to get out of the car
Ironically, I always lock my door
for my protection
Even if by some miracle
I could escape the confines of the car
I had no idea in which direction safety lie
I would just as surely die
lost in that frozen wasteland
as I would at your hand
Assuming, you didn't simply run me down with the car
"Don't fight me!" you warned
your voice tight
with barely controlled anger
I was well acquanted with your temper
so I cooperated to a certain extent
guessing what the consequences would be
if I did not
You tried to give me pleasure, too
but I managed to prevent that at least
Bad enough, living with this shame
Infinitely worse would be living with
the guilt of having enjoyed the experience