So you see, it was for our whole nation's sake
that I didn't finish "Washington Square,"
and if you don't believe me--
I don't care!
by Jeremy Wayne Couch
I have a legitimate excuse
for not having my homework done.
I was lying in bed with Henry James
practically bored to tears
when you'll never guess who should appear.
No, it wasn't Wonder Bra Woman.
It was Marvin the Martian
with a girl in a poodle skirt,
a vampire who looked like Indianna Jones,
a drag queen dressed for a funeral,
and a Renaissance bard.
You must believe me,
though I know it's hard.
They ordered me out of bed
and covered me toes to head
in a purple robe and golden cape
and a mask of bright green feathers.
They warned me not to try to escape
or Marvin would blow up the planet
with his T38 plutonium space modulator.
Then they took me by force all around town
to every grocery store--for Hippolyta, herself,
(Queen of the Amazons, a.k.a. Wonder Bra Woman)
had ordered that we go on a quest to destroy
the infamous fat free cookies, brownies, and cakes--
the greatest ever foisted on the American public!
So you see, it was for our whole nation's sake
that I didn't finish "Washington Square,"
and if you don't believe me--
I don't care!
