TOP 10 INGREDIENTS FOR A
QUARTERMAINE FAMILY SCENE
[10] START: Reginald pokes his head into the living room where family is enjoying morning scones and juice, and announces a visitor.
[9] Visitor (e.g. Taggert, Jax, Jason) enters, and delivers his message.
[8] Edward launches into a 22-second tirade, complete with flailing arms and at least one use of the word "preposterous"; He'll then try to shmooze the Visitor, using "Hmmmmm? Hmmmm????"s identical to those of CADDYSHACK's Judge Smails.
[7] Emily walks in, drops her jaw, says she can't believe what she is hearing, then storms off.
[6] Lila admonishes Edward for his behavior, then wheels out of room to check with cook about dinner (even though it's only 9:00 am).
[5] AJ blames everything on company CEO Ned, usually manages to get in a dig at Ned's estranged wife and daughter.
[4] Ned scowls sideways at "Junior", responds with any number of "AJ is a drunk" jokes.
[3] Edward orders the visitor out of his house; Monica reminds Edward that it is HER house (NOTE: Sometimes Alan will say to Monica, "I gave it to you").
[2] Everyone leaves, supposedly to check on Emily.
[1] Alan stays behind to pop a pill. END