BOB GUZA's TOP 17 COMMENTS
AT HIS FIRST WRITERS MEETING
(17) "Before I unpack my bags, let me just confirm--Robin IS off the show now, right?"
(16) "As far as I can deduce, someone here must have a Greek dictionary where TIMORIA is defined as 'stupid, lame-ass virus'...."
(15) "Hey, look what I found while putting my umbrella in the coat closet--STEFAN'S SPINE!"
(14) "I simply must reject next week's script where Carly drop-kicks a newborn cocker spaniel puppy into a pool of boiling lava."
(13) "...and look what I found next to Stefan's spine--MIRANDA'S CASSIDINE CONNECTION!"
(12) "Well, after reviewing the tapes of the past 10 months, without a doubt the finest piece of writing done while I was away was where A.J. shaved off his goatee."
(11) "Let's take a 10-minute break, gang...I understand Tony Geary has organized a parade out in the back lot. Free popcorn, too!"
(10) "What the hell is Lucky waiting for?!?!?!"
(9) "See, what I actually had in mind for Taggert and Garcia was--HOLY TOLEDO, GET A LOAD OF KRISTINA'S NEW HOOTERS!"
(8) "I can almost buy Alan not loving A.J., but the Lila/Cook love scene you're suggesting is just plain WRONG."
(7) "No, I simply refer to your old boss as 'Dick' because that's what his name was."
(6) "Could you repeat that? I couldn't hear you over Maurice laughing in the hallway."
(5) "So, you're saying that Officer Ardanowski's first name is actually the Roman numeral five, and that she has four older sisters named I, II, III and IV? Okay, YOU'RE fired...."
(4) "It would seem that half the cast are now offspring of Jeff Webber..."
(3) "Super Mega Power Exploding Gum????"
(2) "Nice job with Katherine's recovery. Too bad I'm planning a new primetime episode where Stefan shoots her again, and she realizes she just really, really hates his guts."
(1) "Well I don't CARE if you don't like it...what are you gonna do, log on to your laptop and burn my house down?!"