TOP 11 SIGNS YOU'RE IN CARLY'S NEW CLUB
11. There are bullseyes painted on the outside of the building, to make mob-related drive-by shootings more challenging.
10. The waitresses get around on Rollerblades.
9. There's a drink special called The Laundry Cart.
8. The bouncers are under strict orders to not let Sarah Brown in.
7. In the back room, there's an Enduro condom machine next to the billiards table.
6. Men are required to wear jackets; Tony Jones is required to wear a Kevlar vest.
5. The Aussie co-owner can be seen over by the barkeepah's blendah, holding a bottle of Kahluer, talking to Zandah about Brender.
4. No cover charge for off-duty Ferncliff employees.
3. The bar napkins are pre-printed with a handwritten phone number and "For a good time, call Caroline."
2. Local schoolteachers can be spotted trying to sneak in and take their desk chairs back.
1. If the lady owner stops by your table to see how you're doing, there's a 75% chance she'll walk away pregnant with your child.