FAISON’S TOP 11 PET PEEVES
11. The Americans’ anal obsession with this gelatinous liquid they call “shampoo.”
10. His guards still tease him about the time he snuck into the brownstone at night to kidnap Felicia, and ended up abducting Simone by mistake.
9. That woman on the promos for ALL MY CHILDREN - Is it? Nahhh...
8. Ugly ladies who want to kiss P.K. Sinclair at his book signings.
7. None of the surveillance cameras can get a good view of the Britney Spears poster hanging in Lucky’s cell.
6. How the drive-thru window attendant at Jack-In-The-Box pretends not to understand his accent.
5. The inevitable joke from restaurant waitresses: “So... will CESAR be having a CAESAR salad?”
4. The scruffy, bearded Australian prisoner in cell #4 who is always bugging him to play drinking games.
3. Unable to get any sleep, what with his omenous “bump ba-da bump bump bump” theme song playing over and over in his head.
2. The annoying tourists who are constantly stopping by his secret lair to see the air vent through which Lucky crawled to find Anna on May 14.
1. Just how many times must he use the word “lucky” in a conversation to get Luke’s attention?! Eez this Lewk Spayncer tick in de head or whaaat?