ALAN'S TOP 10 PET PEEVES
[10] Health Department has declared his sweat-soaked bathrobe a public hazard.
[9] American Airlines is no longer a partner on his drug dealer's frequent flyer program.
[8] WHen washing pills down with water, finding Lila's teeth in the glass.
[7] People calling him "old man" at the Grateful Dead concerts.
[6] The loud hissing of the giant purple snakes in his office makes it hard to work.
[5] That the stage floor wasn't better waxed when he threw Robin across it.
[4] Emily, aka "The Hydrocodone Hog"
[3] When Brenda tells him that pain pill popping is "sooooo 1997."
[2] Charlie Sheen and Robert Downey Jr. never wanna hang out.
[1] "Whose idea was this 8 hours of sleep a day anyway?!?!?"