After over 10 years, I found a friend of mine. It seems that we both had a horrible taste in men. Our lives pretty much mirrored each other until now. I find out that for the past several years, that she has been happily married. She has the nice house, nice car, great kids and her own business.
What made our relationship so special was our ability to feel each others pain over great distances. When she was in labor, I felt it also even though I was across the Atlantic Ocean. She felt my pain as I had my children. Over the years, we felt much of each others pain.
Now I am looking for the joy. If I can feel her pain, why can I not feel her joy? Since most of our lives have been a mirror effect of each other�s lives, why is it that I�m not happily married with the white picket fence?
While the truth lies in myself, I wish I had the strength to change things. Many bad relationships have come and gone, but the hurt has never faded. My ability to trust has been shattered time and again. People have come and gone from my life as if a revolving door were a permanent fixture on my heart.
It seems that I must look to my friend and take a deep look at the differences which have helped to cease the �mirror effect� of our lives. Maybe I need to find out what qualities her new husband has, his weaknesses and strengths, to see if those are some of the qualities I have been looking for. It may be that I was still stuck in the past and keeping to the guidelines that she and I had shared long ago.
Hopefully soon the �mirror effect� will come back into play and I will find myself surrounded by the type of life she now finds herself in. Husband, picket fence and even my own business!
