Today is a bad day. Trying to rationalize my thoughts and feelings these past few days. In the immortal words of my family and friends....never take a guy back who has dumped you. Why didn't I follow these wise words last week?
I had met Jason online through a personal ad. He seemed nice enough. Plus he was cute and intelligent. After talking online, he called me and I told him to come over for some good old home-made hot chocolate! The next few days found us inseperable. That weekend he packed me and his daughter up for a trip to his fathers farm. It was the most incredible weekend of my life! I felt so loved, warm and amused all at the same time! On Sunday we returned to my place. He started a fire in my fireplace and we shared a bottle of wine.
In a surreal turn of events, we started arguing about a mundane fact. The fact that I was brought up differently and with different values and morals. That wasn't the main issue, but that is what it boiled down to. The next day he kissed me goodbye, telling me he would pick me up for dinner, but I didn't see or hear from him for several days.
Being a woman and needing closure, I grabbed my roomate and made her escort me to the men's only night at a local bowling alley where I knew I could find him. Being the unltimate man's man, he procedded to chew me out for "invading" the men's bolwing night! I left with his promise to swing by the next day to return my house key and hopefully give me a real reason for his dumping me. I got my key back, but never really got the closure I needed.
In the weeks following, I came into contact with an old friend of mine. He's currently in Iraq. He tells me that he would like to start a relationship with me once he comes back to the states. He also informs me that he has really missed being around me over the years. Plus, I was also meeting other men in the hopes of filling the void that Jason left.
Then this last Wednesday, I'm online checking my email when I see Jason come online. Being the sweet person I am, I offer the olive branch and wish him a Happy belated New Year. We talk some and again he is enroute to my house with a promise of rekindling the relationship. Three wonderful days we are together. Friday morning I wake up early and accidently wake him up. He proceeds to help fix my pc and help me order new software that I've been in dire need of.
I actually thought that morning was very magical for us. We cuddled while he was on my pc and I on my stool next to him. As he downloaded and sent pictures I had taken while at his dad's farm, we talked more about our future. After a few more cups of coffee he finally made his way to the door. He kissed me, told me to wish him luck because he had a big metting that evening, and then told me he's be by during his break. Again, no phone call and no Jason!
Being the woman again, I had to do the unthinkable...back to the men's only domain.......the bowling alley! By this time I had figured out that he had changed his cell phone number on Friday right after he left my house. So my going there was my only way to contact him. The software he had ordered me had come and I needed him to load it on the pc. (He had PROMISED that he would be here to do that if I ordered it!) Again I was met with a very angry Jason! He told me to load it myself.
I came home, not with my tail between my legs this time, but with my head help high! I got the reaction I had wanted and hopefully messed up his game!
I think somewhere along the line he has figured me out to be a "stalker". Well Jason, you aren't as intelligent as I'd once thought! Stalking is not caring about somebody enough to do the little things for, falling in love then being able to walk away! I'm not a stalker, only a woman who thought she loved you enough to care!
