| Yesterday i got NOTHING done...arg~ cept for the history project that was already late...har har...and the thing is i didn't finish that until 6:30 this morning...it was b/c i had set mah alarm clock...but it never went off or something like that...anywayz...i skipped Chemistry...not a good thing now is cuz Ms. B is really mad or something cuz Liz Fitzgerald IMed me saying that she was going to call my house EEK! I'm dead MEAT if dad finds out...and the thing is...it's not even the thought of him getting mad and all...it's juss that i have let him down...i acknowledge that...you knoe i'm a bad kid...in weird ways that is..i'm not in the fact that i do drugs and drink smoke...ya knoe...the most typical "bad" kid stuff...i juss...don't feel like myself lately...i think it's a mixture of depression and lack of motivation to do stuff...whatever it is...I open my heart to God...it's good to have that feeling. Although i skipped 7th period Chem b/c i DID have a stomach ache..i went to go visit my mom...i brought her some flowers...you knoe..this might seem weird..or quite obvious..but i truly believer her spirit is present everytime i visit her...i told her that i was sorrie that i skipped 7th period and blah blah..and i told her how i missed her..A LOT...and how i juss wanted her to come back...and i didn't care if she came back and she juss yelled at me all day...juss her not being here is so WEIRD...i feel empty...like God has taken one of the most important things in my life...he has...but i'm hoping he'll feel my heart with love and hope and bury my deepest wounds cuz someday i hopefully will meet my mom in heaven...that is if God accepts me...you knoe i really wanna believe i'll get a free ticket to heaven...hehe *^^* but the thing is...if there is judgement in afterlife...i would understand why i wouldn't enter in heaven because i've done some prettie bad stuff...oh well...it is quite alright... i got to knoe one of my bros in christ a lil bit better yesterday. David Joo IMed me! He's such an awesome person, and i'm glad he talked to me...God is great in working in the beginning of relationships...i must say...when you first get to knoe a person that is the most awesomest thing in the world...i dunno about David...and other ppL..but when i meet someone *special* which is the majority of the time...most ppL...i feel like i can open up to them...maybe not immediately tell my deepest darkest secrets...but it's soo cool when you can tell that a person is full of life and is AWESOME in my eyes and most definately God's eyes...interesting........hmmmmmmmm....... ahhhhhhhhhhh~ hehe..anywayz..i must say that David is really funnie and one of the most coolest and sweetest guys i have talk to in a long time...he seems like a person who would always be there for you...give advice when he can and juss listen to all your problems...a GREAT friend :-D well..mah prom dilemnas have gotten a lil less..shaky i guess? but i still don't have a date..hehe...but i don't wanna go ranting and raving about the deal..cuz i am sick of talking about prom...it's a disease...i think i was much more calm when i didnt' talk about prom cuz i wasn't going (i.e. last year)...and i think it's actually good that you dont' go to your junior prom b/c it's what makes your senior prom SPECIAL...i'd really like to take a date who would juss have fun with me ya knoe? with no regrets...and if he's got the looks...EVEN BETTER! So...would you take a HOT date or a NICE date? either one would be great~ p.s. Bae Yong Joon looked A LOT Better maybe a lil hotter towards the very end of *gyu ool yun ga* too bad he had to go blind...but LOVE LASTS FOREVER...or at least we hope so :-D - April 19, 2002 - Next Entry Previous Entry Seo? |
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