| Hey guys~! I haven't typed a journal entry in a LONG ASS time...yes i knoe....there has been a lot going on with mah life lately...and life...is totally different now..mah world feels upside down..and nothing...i mean nothing feels right anymore...i juss feel...blah~ one of the MAIN reasons why i am feeling this way is because...my mom....she passed away....in front of my eyes..she was GONE...and somehow...without her i feel empty and not right...at least in the sense...i think i have lost my guidance...sure...i bitched about her 24/7...i mean really ask any of my close friends...Shery, Trey, Juliana, and even Laura would knoe...i could go on and on about how i "hated" her...now we all knoe that no one can hate there own mother...but i thought i did....but in the end...of course i didn't. She was a dear person to me. She was one of the most important people in my life. She was the one who gave me life (along with God and my dad). This emptiness is totally unexplainable and probably no one knoe EXACTLY how i feel...sure they'll knoe how i feel if they've lost someone important in their lives a while back....but...it's so different. My whole view of the world is different. I feel different....although i prob went through many states of depression...this prob is the worse i've ever been....Many of my school friends have been very supportive...i have to admit i have AWESOME friends and the more i think about i'm sure i would not have made it if it weren't for their support~! I love you guys! Don't forget that! |
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