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My shoulders are so sore. How much longer can a carry this weight on them. One thing is for sure. I'm back on my I hate american women cycle. After a brief 2 week break I have returned to the belief that american woman are a complete waste of time. Why in the flying fuck do I bother. I feel like I'm charlie brown and every womam I meet is lucy. They swear they won't move the football and I believe them. Sure enough I get my running start and the same thing happens...WAAAAAMMMM, right on my ass. Everytime without fail. It is so depressing. Just once god, oh crap, I'm reaching for god. I now I know i'm at a new low. But just once some depth, some feeling, something beyond the surface. I wish there was someone out there whom I could just hang on her every word, someone that has that inner fire. My delima is wanting to spare someone from my pain, from my burdon, from my destiny. Or the alternative is to unload this burden, share it with someone. I have to believe that there is someone out there who has my drive, my passion. I guess I'll go back to just dealing with my thoughts. I guess I'll just go back to my prison cell, my mind. So much to give and looking for so little in return. I'm not looking for someone who has so much as opposed to someone who has so little and willing to take on so much more. Women are so fake. Will I ever find one that can be true, true to me. Want me, and want me for me, and all that is me. I'm so tired, shoulders so sore. I think I'll go to sleep now. |
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