I am in utter despair. I am in one of those not sure what I'm doing with my life modes. I have no money few friends, no girl, not wanting one though at least not one of these American ones. (More on that at a later time) But isn't this called life. I keep telling my self I'm just paying my do's. This hard work will pay off in the future. In theory it will anyway. Of course, as we all know, in theory communism works. I see Lebron fucking James getting a fucking 100 mil at 18 with no education. Look at all the rappers with their bling. I'm penny scratching just to get buy and for what? I'm so tired of working so damn hard. Sometime I ask myself how much longer I can continue working this hard and making this many sacrifices. All these outside forces beginning and ending with George fucking dubya. When is someone going to cap that guy? (More on his ass at another time.) Being a young guy trying to make it is freakin hard. My shoulders hurt more and more every day. How does society expect me to become great? Perhaps these are my trials that I must pass through. No matter how much the weight of the world feels I'll just keep on going till the day I die.
Two thousand and fucking four, well here I come. Lots of big things planned. 20th birthday. That will be cool. Couple of friends are turning 21, very cool. I graduate form TCC if all goes to plan. I should already start looking for my school plans for the fall. One step at a time. I hope to leave the country at least for a while to get away from it all. There is the ongoing saga of Ashley. OH man this can only go down hill. Man I hate the fact that I love her so much. If not for her I would be so strong. My physical morphing continues. I want to be strong and sleek for this year. Yep, lots to do lots to look forward to. Is love in the air once again? Who knows?
If only I wasn't so dead tired. Someone, anyone out there...give me the strength.