"So that’s it?"
Giles stared incredulously.
"After such a short time together you’re just going to…to up a-and walk out of my life?!"
The pain in the older man’s voice cut Oz to the core, making him unable to look the librarian in the eye. But he nodded anyway.
"Why?" Oz could hear Giles’s footsteps as he walked round the table, then the sound of a chair being pulled out. "I mean…Why?"
"I don’t know." growled Oz. "It’s just…it isn’t working any more."
"Oh." An uncomfortable pause. Oz could tell Giles didn’t want to go on but he knew that he would; he was not the kind of guy to back down from facing the darkness, even if he disliked what he found there. "Is…is it me?"
How is it you, how could it possibly be you? The words battered against the front of Oz’s mind. How could I be driven away by someone who held me so gently after the vampires first attacked? Who looked after me after that incident with Jordy and stayed by my side every full moon, reading me poetry? Who looked down on me with such love as he slid his cock deep inside my ass, fucking me so firmly that every thrust felt like it was taking me closer and closer to heaven?
"No," he replied, his voice clear of the emotion he was feeling. "It’s not you."
"Then it’s someone else, isn’t it? You been seeing someone else, haven’t you, you little slut!"
The chair scraped noisily against the floor, and before Oz could respond he found himself held firmly in place, staring into wild eyes as Giles tottered on the brink of going into full Ripper mode. But he was unafraid. He had faced worst things than Giles’s personal demons – hell, he had been worse things than them! And there had been those nights, when the moon was full and both men’s blood had roared, that they had indulged their mutual beasts together in a frenzy of coupling that was as pleasurable as it was painful.
Although that was nothing compared to the pain he was going through right now.
"Calm down," he said in his most neutral voice, hoping the librarian wouldn’t notice the sap rising in his loins. "There’s no one else."
"Then why…" For a few seconds Giles’s teetered on the emotional edge before closing his eyes and, taking a deep breath, regaining control. "Why are you doing this?" His voice was gentle now as he removed his hands, back to being the old Giles Oz knew and loved, but was leaving anyway. "You ought to tell me that much, don’t you agree?"
Yes. Yes he did. Now it was Oz’s turn to take a deep breath.
"It’s Willow," he exhaled. "And Xander. When I saw them together… When I saw what they were capable of…" Desperately he searched for the right words. "I just knew it was over. And that I couldn’t continue with the way things were. So I’m bailing."
"I see." An icy edge crept into Giles’s speech. "Well, I-if you think that, that this is the right way for you to go, don’t let me stop you." Now his words were practically glacial. "Of-of course you won’t be allowed back into the library ever again, what with the little power this sanctuary holds. It would be too, um, too risky."
"I understand." No! No he didn’t understand! Why was he doing this, why was he hurting the only one he loved?
The image of Xander and Willow returned once more and his question was answered.
"I, uh, I would wish you ‘good luck’ in your new endeavours," Giles was clearly retreating into his ‘stuffy Brit’ modes of speech to cover his pain; no doubt Oz was already gone in his eyes, "but we both know that would be dishonest so, um, for the sake of what used to be between us, I won’t lie."
"Thank you," said Oz, his voice catching in his throat. Then: "I’m sorry." Now the emotion was clear for both to hear. "I wish there was another way, but…"
"No, well, we both know the futility of such arguments since we’ve both been here before. With others." Giles smiled a brief brittle smile. "Although I never thought you’d be on the opposite side next time." He looked up with a glimmer of a grin on his face, which died as soon as his eyes met Oz’s, and he looked down again, taking off his glasses as he did so. "I think you’d better be going."
"Good idea," murmured Oz. For a second he barely moved, watching his vanishing love as the librarian took a cloth out of his pocket and began cleaning his glasses. Then he turned on his heel and walked for the door, never looking back.
Outside the night air was cold and Oz found himself pulling his jacket closer as he walked into the welcoming darkness. Fortunately the rider had been true to his work, and it was a matter of moments before Oz had spotted the motorbike and the leather-clad figure that sat on it. As he did so, he felt his mouth go dry and his heart skip a beat, and it was with a curious mixture of fear and excitement that he walked towards his new destiny.
The rider looked up as he approached.
"You told him?" asked Xander.
Oz nodded.
"He didn’t take it well," he admitted with a wry smile. "Funny that."
"Yeah, I can imagine. Poor stuffy Brit, all alone with his dry, dusty books and a broken heart." Xander grinned at the thought, unconsciously morphing into his "game" face as he did so. "Kind of makes me wish I had been there to see it. Except of course that that little goody two-shoes has a bit of a dislike of us vamps. Can’t imagine why?"
"Yeah, you’re all such charming, pleasant individuals." Oz replied dryly, then almost instantly regretted it. He had chosen to live alongside this person and others like him, for centuries to come. It wouldn’t do to get on their bad side at the very beginning. Fortunately the vampire schoolboy hadn’t seemed to notice. "Listen, uh, I’d like to say ‘thanks’ again for letting me do this."
"Not a problem," smiled Xander. "It isn’t everyday that an important White Hat like you decides to swap sides. With the knowledge you’ll bring us, I thought the least we could do is let you say goodbye to your little snuggle-bunny. Well, that and the fact that it would hurt him worse than we ever could!" He grinned again.
"Uh, yeah, right. Whatever." Oz got onto the back of the bike and reached for the helmet that hung below. "Listen, um, you guys do know about my little condition, don’t you?"
"Yup, and we welcome it to our ranks. Werewolves and vampires can be mixed together, if you know the right mojo. Which the Master does. And besides," Xander gunned the engine into life, "my girl Willow knows all about housebreaking puppies."
"Oh." Oz did up the strap and slid his arms around Xander’s waist. "Cool."
Xander kicked at the brake, and then with a roar the bike drove away into the night.
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