A little collection of poems/songs written by me, The Vic-ness
I also have a page with some songs by my friends/family. You can find those here.
Poems so far:
Please be so kind as to send email containing feedback on these poems to my email address [email protected]
Tyty doubleplusmuch
My thoughts are scattered
My hope is shattered
What I wished yould never be
I knew would come true eventually
I wish you knew the way I felt
Maybe then you'd know what I've been dealt
You can't have known what I've been through
Until it's shoved in your face too
They say "good things come to those who wait"
I've learned they come much too late
You said to me you'd never lie
But all your truth did was make me cry
I wish you knew the way I felt
Maybe then you'd know what I've been dealt
You can't have known what I've been through
Until it's shoved in your face too
As I sit here ans watch it end
The present with my mind I try to bend
The hate inside towrds you I feel
I fear is slowly becoming real
I don't care if you know how I felt
It's because of you these cards were dealt
One day you will know what I've been through
Cause I pray it happens to you
You looked into my eyes
You told me you'll always be mine
You said you wanted to marry me
I thought this was meant to be
Together forever, I fantasized
Leave him, they criticized
But still I stood by your side
Come rain or shine, I was by your side
Torn apart by your sweet face
It seems I've lost my happy place
All the times I was there for you
Return the favor was the least youcould do
You met me when I was the way I am
Accepted me, then seemingly ran
I thought you'd be there to hold my hand
Somehow in this small place I, myself, crammed
Heartfelt loving
Heartbreak hating
Heartfely heartbreak
I don't know how much I can take
January 28, 2004 0130hrs
A thousand black roses for the dead
Lay scattered in your eternal bed
A reminder that what was once good in life
Can fall apart under the blade of a knife
Anything that's pure
Eventually fades away for sure
As the blood drips on my roses
I watch as the coffin closes
Laying still as the darkness engulfs me
I struggle but I can't break free
The screaming leaves my throat dry
No one up above hears me cry
Anything that's pure
Eventually fades away for sure
As the blood drips on my roses
I watch as the coffin closes
Trying to breathe I claw at the lace
Bright red blood running down my face
The world wins
I give in
I close my eyes
Truth turned to lies
January 29, 2004 0015hrs
I look down
I look at the ground
I look up
I look around
I blink and wipe my tears
I think and remember the past years
Remembering all the fun
Remembering the hard times we've overcome
You're so special to me
You're the one guy I never thought to pass
As I looked through the looking glass
I knew everything would come true eventually
January 30, 2004 0800hrs
I take your hand into mine
And cross this sacred line
Brought from my family into yours
To stand by your side forever more
Two little words to say to you
Two little words I hope you say too
Two little words to get my through
Two little words that spell out:
"I do."
February 4, 2004 0045hrs
If there's anything in like I wish for
It would be for you to be happy with me once more
I'd do anything for you
Anything I could do?
You confuse me with your words
I don't know what to believe
No matter what you do
I could never hate you
If there's anything in like I wish for
It would be for you to be happy with me once more
I'd do anything for you
Anything I could do?
I know I've hurt you
Too many times to count, true
But if there's anything I could do
To make it up to you
Tell me, please
We can get through this, I know
Down on one knee
I beg you, hear my plea
I can't change the past, I know that
I've made mistakes, I know that
But my life's upside-down
Everything's screwed around
Give me time to change
No more acting strange
You pick me up
When I feel like giving up
Don't save your love for a certain day
Let me take your heart away
I swear to you, I'll break it not
I swear to you, I'll hurt you not
If there's anything in life I wish for
It would be for you to be happy with me once more
I'd do anything for you
Anything I can do?
Love you, be true to you, hold you, kiss
you, be there for you, hold you hand and get you through
Anything I can do?
Anything possible for you
Anything for you
For only you
February 6-10, 2004 2256hrs
Precious moments
Painful torments
Dizzying motion
Loving devotion
Free in your company
Prisoner in your territory
I don't know how I feel
I don't know if I feel
With tears in my eyes
I look at your emotional black eyes
All that I've done to you
No matter how hard I try not to
So many things I've put you through
Never any reason for all that I do
Tears for you I shed
So many times my eyes turned red
With tears in my eyes
I look at your psychological black eyes
All that I've done to you
No matter how hard I try not to
You never deserved any of this
Too long to even list
I hope you don't miss me too much
But though you were my crutch
Now I fall
Wandering through the hall
Punch the locker, punch the wall
Make-up running down my face
Trying to keep up a steady pace
Sprawled out on the floor
I can't take any more
Please open the door
Let me in
Too long it's been
With a gleam in my eye
I kiss the world good bye
Cold metal
Placed on my temple
Give the trigger a squeeze
I knew death would be a breeze
February 11, 2004 1630hrs
The better things
Like diamond rings
Last forever
And shine like a rich man's treasure
One of these things I find is love
An everlasting gift from above
Love so true, love so pure
Love so strong, anything it can endure
Golden bands
Around encircling hands
Small circles of trusts
One of love's musts
The better things
Like diamond rings
Last forever
And shine like a rich mans treasure
February 17, 2004 2133hrs
Find life in death
Meaning with no regret
Actions in words
Grief in relief
In these words I speak
I find hope is brief
Too many things I cling to
Too many things left to do
A hopeful phrase
Can change with passing days
Things I lived for
I find I care about no more
Pen to paper I write
My life as dim as a candle once bright
Remembering things past and done
Wondering why we couldn't overcome
Nothing left to do
Fall asleep and dream of you
Wake me up, I ask you not to
This is the closest thing I have to death
In my life anew
February 20, 2004 2245hrs
Point of no return
Time to crash and burn
No where to run
Too many lessons to learn
Chose your words wisely
They may be the last you say to me
Before you leave without a trace
For the last time, let me kiss your face
I took a leap of paith
I did not expect to run a race
I didn't think I had to beat anyone out
I thought I knew what you were about
That I was the one you didn't want to be without
And despite my tries
I now realize
The best thing for me to do
Is to leave you
I hope to find in you
A person born new
I hope my wish comes true
Because I don't want to leave you
H-O-M-E
February 21, 2004 0234hrs
Listen to my voice
You leave me no easy choice
Your confusion is unnecessary
At the time she was just an accessory
So many choice you now have to make
Someone's heart is bound to break
In your web of lies and deceit
It's you that lays broken and in defeat
Thicker and thicker I watch your problems grow
Rembmer, you reap what you sow
You built the tensions
Now suffer the consequences
One of these days it's all going to explode
You sent yourself down this long winding road
You deserve what you get
You placed too much on this bet
Whatever you do, someone's going to cry
Whatever you do, someone's going to want to die
You should feel special, you should feel honored
You should feel pressured, you should feel like a coward
You don't know who you want more
I don't care, deal the last blow
But always remember
You reap what you sow
H-O-M-E
Stop the crying
Stop the game
Stop the trying
And take the blame
Look into my eyes
Tell me the words you spoke
Weren't lies
All the things I've put you through
And the things you've done to me too
So much stress in my life
No where as strong as a knife
But so far I know this pretty face
Refuses to leave without a trace
So for now to myself I'll lie
And for now yourself you'll deny
In my mind I'll kiss you goodbye
And in your heart you'll wish I die
But in my heart I will admit
I do love you and all your shit
And maybe in your heart you'll come to see
That you and I are meant to be
Sleepless nights
Neverending fights
In your gentle touch
I find I love you too much
At times I want to leave you
But I know I'll promise not to
And there's nothing left for me to do
Except sit around and wait for you
I sit here and watch time go bye
And wonder why you continue to lie
Your lips touch mine day after day
In train stations I find we still play
No one knew our little secret
But now right here I think I'll keep it
And those who read this now will say
Why he pushed two hearts away
But right here I'll stop dead in my tracks
Think, and know I want you back
But if I have to prove my love to you
Then no, that I will not do
You should know my feelings are tried and true
But if you don't, I can't help you
Just me and the feelings in my heart
If that's not enough, I ask we part
A simple answer is all I ask for
When you can tell me with a straight face
I'll let it fall into it's rightful place
Nothing less, nothing more
A simple question is all I ask
But a simple answer it's never had
I can't help but see the things you do for her
And honestly think you love her more
A simple act is all I ask
I really did it for you in the past
With you it's constant pain
I can't see through the rain
A simple sun now in the sky
On my mind a not so simple question why
I think I know what you want, but it seems you don't try
And you dare say all I do is cry
Put yourself in my position
Sometimes if feels like a suicide mission
People tell me what I should do
It's the last thing I want to do to you
Tell her the truth, not that hard to do
It's all I ask, then that's it, it's through
I know you want to
But pity comes into play too
Half felt intensions
Half felt mentions
I'd hate to give you a dead line
But I want you to show you'll be only mine
The one who holds your heart
I find I never want to part
But when it feels they've ripped it out and stepped on it
It really hurts quite a bit
Let me stay or let me go
Please, no in between
I need to know
People come
People go
But words, they stay with you
Whether they show
Don't let people see how they've cut deep
Don't let people see you weep
Say your good byes and walk away
Hold your head high and do what you may
The things you do when I'm not watching
The things you say when I'm not listening
Are they they same you do with me
Are they the same you say to me
"I love you" is what you say
I hope I've given you no reason to play
With me I hope you stay
Every night, this I pray
I want him to stay with me forever
Marry him and leave me never
Silent moments filled with loving devotion
Realization of intense emotion
False facades he puts up
Lies he just can't drop
Behind his loving voice
I know there's no other choice
Total loss of control
Total loss of my soul
Things are on my mind
For which I know I should die
I know not what to do
It's impossible to make an easy decision with you
This is a messy triangle
My life's in a huge tangle
I want to stay with her forever
But in this mess there's another
I try to take every chance I get
But I'm beaten in this huge net
This to the other I know I must say
Even though I know cry she may
But whenever I hear my true love's voice
In my heart I know I've made my choice
In the closet there he lays
And soon enough he'll get out and play
Everywhere he goes, havoc will prevail
Leaving behind him a deadly, messy trail
As days go by
I watch him multiply
Soon he'll run out of place
Get out and find a bigger place
People scream and then they die
People cry and then get high
People laugh and wonder why
People roll their eyes and walk on by
Strangers lend a listening ear
Strangers shed an honest tear
People anger me but strangers care
Strangers have extra heart to spare
Strangers help clean out the closet
Put my skeletons in a casket
People watch as I close it
But in the ground it doesn't fit
Dust and bones prance their way out
People and strangers shout
Never understood why I kept them hidden
Finally understand why I said good ridden
Days went by
I watched them multiply
They finally ran out of space
But there is no bigger place
Out there he roams, wandering the street
Destroying everything that once was neat
Everywhere he goes, havoc will prevail
Leaving behind him a deadly, messy trail
Silent love
Never known
Like a newborn dove
Never flown
Holding these feelings deep down inside
Though these feelings have no reason to hide
Every night I hope and pray
That you'll be mine and here to stay
And one day when I wake
My hand you will take
Look into my eyes and say you've never lied
And to believe you when you say you love me
Deep down inside
