(untitled)

The day I heard of him and her
I felt an odd pain
Like an eternal rain that was sent to destroy me

It made me sad but oddly I was mad at him
For what he had done
I wished at this point I had a loaded gun
I wished my life was done

It was plain to see
That she simply wasnt meant for me
Every time I saw them together
It was like someone pulling a tether
Tighter around my neck

I felt god wanted to torture me
This to me was all I could see
It brought me down

I could have fallen to the ground with the pain I felt
I don't see how I ever delt with tthat devistating blow
It was so low
For him to do

But I hide my feelings
This I regret that I did
Because now the rage has built up inside
So much so I feel I could cry from the pain that I feel
But as for now I will just have to deal

I'm Caught

I'm caught
We fought all night
I went at her with all my might
That's how I spent my night
I brought her to tears
To me all it was, was a couple of beers
I been caught
It's a never ending fight
She'll try with all her might
To stop me
She trys to watch me
But it will never work
It feels like I can't stop
Until there's not one more drop
Left in the bottle
Like for my brother
It drowns out the pain
I forget for a night
But its the same thing the next day
Another fight
Maybe one day I'll find another way
To help my probelms
Maybe one day I'll have help to solve them
Then maybe I can keep them away
That's what I await
To god I pray that this is my fate
If it is not I fear I will be in despair
But no one will be aware
Of how I feel
Till it's too late
This too can be my other fate

The Final Night

The final night
I could have never seen the fight
That was to come
It was a blurr
Ten drinks down
I almost fell to the ground
I made not one sound
For that one night
I felt no pain
Saw no rain
I was at peace
All my probelms ceased
I blacked out
When I awoke
Not one word I spoke
Until she awoke
Then all hell was raised
This would phase
My life forever
I will never forget that day
I withered away in my room
Thinking about what I had done
I had reached a low
I thought no futher I could go
Until it happened
The day her body shook again
If only I knew
What it would do
To my house
I wouldn't have smoked up
It made her choke as if a force was strangling her
That day for her was a blurr
Of pain sorrow and doubt
That day nothing I could say
Would fix what I had done

This Night

As I sit in this chair
I am in despair
I drown out the pain
My eternal rain which plagues my life
That makes me want to grab the knife
I drink I beer
Hoping it will make me not have to hear
All the fights
All the neverending nights
All my fears and frights I feel
But I know all I can do is deal
It drives me to drink
All I do is down enough so I can't think
About another endless night and another family fight

To The One I Can't Have

You are the best
Your better then all the rest
You are unlike everyone I know
Damn does it show
You are so nice and so kind
Like no one else I will ever find
To me you are great
Everyday I contemplate
What life with you would be like
But you are with Mike
So as of now I will deal
But just as long as you know how I feel
As long as you are happy
That is all that matters to me
No matter who you are with
As long as your not sad
I hope that I never make you mad
I feel as if I spent the rest of my life with you
It would be the best thing
Then I could always hear how well you sing.

Vicky

When life began to crash and burn
I turned to you
You help me get through
Many of my probelms
You even help me solve them
I care about you more then you know
I hope one day I will get to show
You how much I care
For Christ sakes we just learned how to share
I like it that you care
Almost as much as I do
I will always be here for you
I hope that you will too

For You

You make me happy
And never sad
When I'm with you I'm never mad
But it's to bad that you're with Mike
You'll never know how much I like you
I hope one day you will too
It's crazy how I feel
I've only known you for four months
But they've been the best of my life
When I met you it made me want to put down the knife
You somewhat gave me a better life
I love to be with you
Shit I've even been sleeping with you
You are my best friend
I'll be here for you until the end