If Only I
Knew Then
Chapter 9:
Discoveries
good idea as to why. They had kissed. Again. And this time, it
hadn't been one of those quick, "oops, I made a mistake" kind of
kisses. It had been the wanting, needy, something deeper kind of
kiss and he knew it. They both did. So, the fact that the witch was
purposely trying to avoid him made the vampire slightly more than
raging mad.
He wasn't sure how it had happened, but it seemed that somewhere
along the way, the Slayer had slipped from his heart, only to be
replaced by this new enigma that was
from the girl they all knew, and yet still so much the same. He
wondered how he had been able to overlook that darkness in her
before. Quickly remembering, he mentally berated himself…the
slayer. She had clouded his judgment on everything. He had known
how wrong that obsession had been from the start, but Spike had
always been one to allow himself to be lead by the heart, even when
he knew he shouldn't.
It had been Dru, then Buffy. Now…now it was the sweet, redheaded
witch. Maybe it was the fact that she needed him. Always was a
sucker for a damsel in distress. But as much as she needed him, he
knew she was strong and could take care of herself when she had to.
And that, as much as anything else, endeared her to him all the more.
For her part,
gone, Xander and Anya were angry with her, and Dawn was still mad
about the whole Faith thing. Giles seemed to be avoiding
much as she was avoiding him and Faith was just a little
uncomfortable around her now.
the two had split up after not too long. As
down a quiet street, she suddenly caught voices talking around a
corner.
"I'm sure we can work something out," a man stated, sounding nervous.
"A deal of some sort. Anything you want," came a woman's voice.
"I kinda always wanted a puppy,"
the corner, stake in hand.
"Oh, whoops. You weren't really speaking to me, were you? No
surprise there. No one else is really speaking to me either, right
now,"
as I'm here…"
Lunging forward she lashed out and punched the man holding the purse.
He immediately dropped it and stumbled backwards. The redhead
watched them with a stunned look on her face, realizing they were
human, not vampires.
"Wow. A mugging. Haven't seen one of those in…well…never in
Sunnydale," she said, more to herself than anyone else.
Leaning down to pick up the purse, she handed it to the
woman. "Kinda sweet really…considering…oh, well, uh…probably not for
you though. You should…um…go. Now."
The man and woman ran off just as the muggers got ready to attack the
witch.
One ran at her and she quickly held her hand up, stopping him in
place just before he reached her. Hearing the redhead mumble a few
words, the mugger suddenly found himself thrown backwards. The
second one began to move toward her when suddenly Spike jumped out.
"No!"
face, immediately clutching his head and yelling in pain. The two
muggers quickly scrambled to their feet and ran away, leaving
alone with Spike, who was now leaning against a wall, holding his
head in agony.
"Spike!"
were making a fast retreat. "Why did you do that?"
"I thought they were demons and maybe you could use a hand," he told
her, still holding his head.
"You're not real big with the observation, are you?" She said,
sarcastically.
"Hey. Little sympathy for the man with the migraine here, can we?"
Spike growled, glaring at her.
"Well, uh, I guess maybe next time you should avoid attacking a
human," she said quietly. "Are…are you okay?"
"Yeah. You'd think if the government was gonna put a chip in my head,
they'd at least make it so I could attack criminals and that sort,"
the vampire said in annoyance.
"Right, because the bad guys deserve to be eaten," Willow quipped
before turning to walk away, seeing that he would be fine.
"
The witch turned back around, letting out a deep sigh. "Spike, it's
late. Can we finish this another time?" After everything that had
happened, she felt completely drained and the impending conversation
was not something she was looking forward to.
"Oh, so you want to get right to the kissing, then…that it?"
"We are not going to kiss, Spike. Once was…"
"Twice," he interrupted.
"But, not again," she told him, turning away again, not letting him
see the look of pain on her face. "I…I think it was a mistake." Her
voice caught in her throat and she knew the tears were not far behind.
"Why are you fighting this?" He asked, grabbing her arm, pulling her
back around to face him. "It's only a matter of time until you
realize I'm the only one here for you. You got no one else."
"I'm already all too well aware of that," she mumbled before
shrugging his arm off and turning to walk away.
He had seen the tears in her eyes. Did the idea of him…of being with
him really upset her that much? He was sure she was falling for him,
just as much as he was falling for her, but didn't understand her
reluctance in admitting it.
Part 2
Later that night,
staring at the cage in the corner.
"What's the matter, Amy?" She asked, pulling the rat out of the cage
and petting it. "You lonely? Oh, we need to get you a nice
companion rat that you can be friends with, and talk to and slowly
fall for, until you remember that he's in love with…" Suddenly, she
stopped, realizing something.
"Oh! Amy! I'm so sorry! I completely forgot that…I…I know how to…"
Putting the rat down on the bed she mumbled "revele," and a piece of
paper immediately appeared on her desk with the incantation to
change Amy back to her human form.
Walking over to the desk slowly,
contemplating what it meant. This was where it all started. Well,
that wasn't entirely true, and she knew it. This was just the
catalyst for her final descent to that lovely place called "rock
bottom". She didn't want to think about what it would mean if she
brought Amy back. It wasn't a choice, really. She couldn't just
leave her in this state.
Picking the paper up, she quietly read the words off. "Cio che fu
non e piu. Cio che fu fatto disfa. Passato e il pericolo, finita e
la prova. Metti le cosa a posto."
There was a flash of red light, and suddenly, Amy was sitting on the
bed, naked, looking around nervously.
smile just before the newly de-ratted girl let out a loud scream.
~*~
After Amy had been filled in on a few things, she headed down stairs
to find something to eat that wasn't cheese.
little while later, finding her sitting on the couch, eating cookies.
"How are you doing? Need anything?"
"No, thanks. Good cookies," Amy replied. "I'm sorry about
Buffy."
"Thanks,"
"It's crazy all the things that have happened since I went away,"
Amy told her.
"You don't know the half of it,"
very abridged version of current events.
"Snyder got eaten by a snake ... high school got destroyed…people
getting frozen…you liking girls…Tom and Nicole…"
"People getting frozen? I…I don't remember mentioning anything about
that,"
Amy turned up the volume on the TV.
"…in critical yet stable condition as local authorities continue
their investigation into the robbery that left one man frozen
solid," a reporter stated.
"Weird," Amy mumbled.
"Crap. I don't even remember this,"
grabbing her coat and heading out the door.
~*~
It took her a few minutes to push her way to the front of the crowd,
but once there, she got a clear view of two policemen rolling a cart
out with a frozen man on it.
Turning away, she mumbled a few choice obscenities under her breath.
Why the hell didn't she remember this?
"Well, look who decided to show up." Looking up, the redhead found
herself staring at a blonde vampire she had been hoping to avoid.
"What are you doing here?" She asked quietly.
"You know, a man was frozen alive in there. A little compassion,
luv."
this. I think it was right around the time I went to see Rack.
That's all kinda blurry…"
Spike frowned as she mentioned the dark mange, remembering what she
had told him about Rack and all that had happened with him.
"Well, as long as you're here, might as well tag along," he told her.
"I mean, as a team, we might…"
"Yeah, you know, Spike…that doesn't always seem to end well," she
told him, biting her lower lip and looking down nervously.
"Did the other night," he remarked with a smirk.
"Spike, I don't understand why you are so fixated on a couple of
kisses with…with me,"
"Why are you so quick to forget them?" He replied in frustration.
The witch's head suddenly shot up, her eyes burning into him, daring
him to disagree with what she was about to say. She didn't
understand why he was pushing this. He couldn't have feelings for
her. Not really. He was in love with Buffy…not her.
"Come on, Spike. We both know it didn't mean anything," she stated
coldly, trying to keep her defenses up. "We were both thinking of
different people," she said, turning to walk away.
"Is that right?" He called out, following her.
"Yes," she hissed. "I…I was depressed, and…upset…a-and…but, it
didn't mean anything. I mean, I was thinking of Tara, and you…you
were thinking of Buffy."
"Yeah, well,
stopped walking and glared up at him angrily. "And I'm not entirely
sure that isn't how either of us wants it."
Again, the redhead turned away and began walking. "Spike, you're in
love with Buffy," she whispered, her voice catching in her throat.
He reached out, grabbing her arm and she spun, shoving him away from
her. He gripped her arm tightly and she cried out in pain.
Immediately, he lifted his hand to his head, letting her go and
yelling out as he always did when the chip fired. She turned around
and ran away, leaving Spike standing alone. Looking after her, he
suddenly realized something. There hadn't been any pain. He had
hurt her, though he hadn't intended to, but there was no pain from
the chip.
Turning to go in the opposite direction, Spike quickly made his way
toward
~*~
Part
3
The
next day,
Xander,
Anya and Faith.
“Says
the guard’s definitely going to live,”
“He’s
all thawed out. Says they used
hairdryers. Huh,” Xander noted.
”I
think I’m starting to remember this part,”
“Oh,
for crying out loud!” Anya exclaimed.
“This is bizarre. You're all, 'la la la!' with the knowing everything,
and the not talking, like everything's normal, when we all know that Tara up
and left you and now everyone's scared to say anything to you.” She paused,
smiling. “Except me. Is this that thing I do that you were commenting on?” She
asked, looking toward Xander, who nodded.
“Guys
... it's okay. It's hard ... but i-it's better this way. I’ve accepted
that. And trust me, I’ve been through
much worse than this. Really. Now, let's just keep working on this. I don't
wanna leave Amy alone in the house for too long.”
“Amy,
is she ... how is she adjusting?” Xander asked.
“It's
hard to say.” Willow responded. “It's a
lot to take in. I keep expecting her to do, like, ratty stuff, you know,
licking her hands clean, shredding newspaper, leaving little pellets in the
corner.”
“Let's
definitely not leave her alone in the house too long,” Faith said, making an
ick face.
As
soon as Willow walked into the house, Amy ran up to her.
“Oh
good, you’re back. I thought you said
you wouldn’t be gone that long.”
“I
wasn’t,” Willow said with a frown. “I mean, I thought…”
“Let’s
go somewhere,” Amy said, pulling at the redhead’s arm.
“Sh-shouldn’t
you go see your dad?” Willow asked, knowing there was no way she was going out
with Amy.
“No.
Not yet. Too many questions,” Amy told
her.
Willow
nodded. “Well, I really can’t go out with
you, Amy.”
“Oh,
well, if you’d rather sit home and stay in, like in high school…”
The
redhead frowned. “That isn’t going to
work on me, this time,” she told her.
“You
leave me as a rat for three years and then you won’t even go out with me?” Amy
said, angrily.
Willow
looked upset. “There’s…there’s a lot of
reason why I can’t,
Amy. It’s hard to explain, but…”
“Yeah,
I know, you mentioned the whole Willow goes bad thing, but come on! I promise, no magic temptations of any kind.”
“Well…okay,
if you really promise.” Willow was
feeling too guilty about leaving her ratted for so long to say no and so
finally agreed to go out, just for a little while with the brunette.
Part
4
“We
suck,” Faith complained, slamming a book shut.
“We
need a new set of brains,” Xander stated.
“What’s up with Willow?”
“Out
with that Amy chick, I guess,” Faith told him with a shrug.
“Oh,
good. Someone to do more magic with,”
Anya grumbled.
“Hey,
well…I mean, I know I don’t know Willow all that well,” Faith began, “but I’m
pretty sure she’s being much more careful with the magic…this time around.”
“Yeah,
well it’s the whole, ‘this time around’ thing that is getting to us,” Xander
told her. “She’s just so
different…distant. I get the feeling
that there is a lot that she isn’t telling us.
I mean, that’s why Tara left.”
“Well,
I think we need to keep an eye on her,” Anya told them. “She’s so concerned with doing the right
thing…being good. Those are the ones you
have to watch out for.”
“Yeah,
but she already did the whole ‘gone down the wrong path’ thing,”
Faith
replied. “Trust me. You go down that road once and get a second
chance? You won’t want to do it again.”
“She
has so much more power now,” Xander stated, quietly. “That’s
gotta
be seductive, you know?”
“Alright,
well…we’ll keep an eye on her,” Faith appeased, wanting to end the
conversation.
Just
then the phone rang and Xander went to answer it.
“Magic
Box,” he said.
“I
need to talk to Willow,” a deep, gruff voice said.
“Spike?” Xander asked in confusion.
“Just
put the witch on the phone,” the voice demanded.
“Spike?”
Xander repeated.
“Oh,
bloody hell!” Spike yelled, causing Xander to pull the phone away from his ear
for a moment, wincing. “Yes, it’s me.”
“And
you’re calling…Willow? On the phone?”
“Just
put her on, you pillock!”
“Well,
Spike, hate to burst your bubble, but she isn’t here. She’s gone out with Amy.”
Spike’s
eyes widened at the words, remembering that Willow had said this was around the
time she first met Rack, a warlock, dealing in dark magicks. He slammed the phone down and immediately
headed out toward The Bronze.
Part
5
Willow
and Amy were at The Bronze, sipping drinks.
The redhead looked around nervously, not liking the feeling of being
there and the memories of that night.
She looked up to see two guys approach them. One of the guys leaned in
and whispered something to Amy.
“Well,
let’s go then. We’re gonna go
dance. Do you wanna come?” Amy asked.
Willow
shook her head. “Oh, no. You go.
I’m…good…here.”
“Are
you sure?” Amy questioned. “Because if
you wanted something a little more…”
“No! Seriously.
Real big with the no,” Willow said in a low, menacing voice before Amy
turned and walked away with the two guys.
“So,
little red riding hood out for a stroll, is she?”
Willow
turned around, letting out a sigh.
“Spike. Can’t say I’m all that surprised to see you
here,” she told him.
“Well,
I am,” he responded. “Thought you were
smarter than this. Thought you’d know
better.”
Willow’s
eyes widened incredulously. “Oh,
really? Well, last time I checked, I was
my own free woman and I could go where I wanted when I wanted.”
“Just
thought you’d want to stay away from this scene is all,” he told her, watching
as she winced slightly at the memory.
“Yeah,
well I’m a little more in control of myself tonight,” she responded coldly.
“Is
that so?” He said with a smirk. “Why
don’t you come join me for a little conversation, witch?” He grabbed her arm, tightly, and pulled her
toward the back exit and into an alley way.
“Ow,
hey! Watch it!” She yelled, trying to pull her arm free.
“Oh,
gee…did I hurt you?” He asked, again smirking at her.
“Yeah,
you big…” She stopped and looking up at him, eyes widening as she suddenly
realized something. “You can hurt me,”
she whispered.
“Yeah,
just figured that out myself,” he replied, remembering his conversation with
Warren. The chip still worked. He’d tested it.
Just
didn’t seem to be working with Willow.
His
next words were spoken more softly. “Didn’t mean to hurt you, you
know…before. This time, just wanted to
be sure, but…Apparently, when you did your little time spell, you came back
here…a little…wrong,” he told her.
Willow
shook her head.
“No,”
she whispered in denial. “It’s not
that. I just…”
“Poor
little lost lamb. Doesn’t fit in
anywhere, got no one to love,” he taunted. He knew he shouldn’t be acting like
this, but her refusal to admit her feelings toward him was making him crazy and
he lashed out the only way he could…verbally.
Oh, sure, he could hurt her now, but even with that knowledge…he knew he
wouldn’t. He would never purposely hurt
her like that.
“Me?
Look at you! A vampire that can’t bite
and falls in love with the
Slayer,”
she replied, feeling the anger bubble up inside of her. Why was he acting like this? “And now you’re following a ‘pathetic, little
human’ around.”
“I’m
falling in love with you,” he told her. “And, come on, luv, I think we just
proved, you aren’t exactly human anymore, are you?”
She
let out a strangled laugh. “I am human, Spike.
I’m just stupid.”
“Come
again?”
Willow
let out a deep sigh. “Spike, you can
hurt me because somewhere, deep down, in my twisted little head, I want you
to.” Her voice softened to an almost
whisper before she continued. “I want you to hurt me, to punish me for all the
horrible things I did. I deserve it.” As
she spoke, her voice grew more pained and she looked down at the ground.
Spike’s
features softened slightly.
“Red,
that’s not true. You don’t deserve it,
and I never want to hurt you,” he told her, reaching out and running a hand
lightly up and down her arm.
She
flinched slightly when he first touched her, but then relaxed a bit, closing
her eyes and willing the tears away. Finally she opened her eyes again and
pulled away from him. “We can’t do this,
Spike. I-I’m sorry. We just can’t…”
“I
get it, Red, I do,” he stated, his voice sounding bitter and hard again.
The
witch looked up at him. “What exactly is it that you get?” She asked.
“Why
you can’t let yourself be with me.”
She
raised an eyebrow, all but daring him to explain himself.
“You’re
fallin for me…I know you are. I can feel
it, but…god forbid you ever let yourself feel for…a demon…a thing…with no
soul,” Spike growled angrily.
“No,
Spike, it isn’t that. I…”
“Couldn’t
stand it if your friends knew, could you?
You know, you can pretend you’re still that sweet, innocent girl they
all take you for, but you and I, we know different, don’t we? It isn’t about you needing to atone and be
punished, and it didn’t just start when you came back. I saw it, last year, when you took on
Glory. The darkness in you…it isn’t
new. It was always there. You just finally let it out to play.”
She
shook her head, not wanting to listen to him.
“Spike,
listen to yourself. This is the way you
felt about Buffy, and you’ve just replaced her with me, but it isn’t real,” she
said, her voice pleading.
“It
isn’t real? Don’t tell me what is and is
not real!” He shouted.
“Don’t
you think I know how wrong it was…having feelings for the Slayer?
Don’t
you think I know how messed up that was?
I understand now. Couldn’t kill
her, had to have her some way, you know?
But the way I felt for her and the way I feel for you, they don’t
compare.”
Willow
looked away sadly. “I know,” she whispered. “Deep down, she’ll always have your
heart.”
“No! Loving the Slayer, it was wrong. I was wrong.
That wasn’t love.
That
was obsession and masochism brought on by this THING they shoved in my
head. This CHIP, it…it made me nothing,
and I had to have SOMETHING, and it became her.
I think, the truth is, deep down…you can’t bring yourself to admit you
have feelings for a soulless thing. It
was alright for Buffy to love Angel, because he had his soul. Is that what you want? Would you be willing to admit your feelings
for me if I had a soul?”
Willow
shook her head. “I prefer you without it,” she said quietly.
“You
have no idea what I was like when…” He stopped, his eyes widening as he took in
the stony look on her face. “You’ve seen
my…how…no. My soul…right? What, did I
lose the chip and run out to bite the first gypsy I could find?”
Willow
shook her head. “There…there are a
few…things…about before…that
I
didn’t mention. You got your soul, to
prove to Buffy how much you loved her,” she told him. “That’s how I know…how I know how much you
love her. You were willing and able to
get a soul for her, and it nearly made you crazy and…and that’s how I know,
because even then, it was always about her, Spike. It’s always about Buffy.”
He
shook his head, taking in what she had just told him, but mentally putting it
aside for the moment.
“No,
Willow. It isn’t. Maybe then it was, but
here, now…god help me, it’s all about you.”
Hearing
his hushed words, Willow looked up again, watery, green eyes staring into
determined blue ones. She was looking
for a sign of truth or deception, he knew.
Spike slowly reached out, pulling her into his arms, never taking his
eyes off of her.
“It’s
all about you,” he whispered again, just before leaning in and capturing her
lips in a soul-searing kiss. The redhead
gasped, allowing the vampire’s tongue to slide past her lips, exploring her
mouth tenderly.
Closing
her eyes, Willow felt herself melt into his embrace as he pulled her tightly
against him, his lips never leaving hers.
The kiss was urgent and tender at the same time…something she had never
thought possible. She felt herself moved
up against a cold, brick wall just before his hands began to run up and down
her sides, from shoulder to thigh, his touch more gentle than she had ever
imagined it could be.
As
she clutched at his strong arms, the kiss became more fevered and passionate
and she felt one of his cool hands slide up under her shirt, caressing her flat
stomach. His other hand went around her,
cupping her bottom and hoisting her up, her legs wrapping around his
waist. One arm grasping his shoulder,
her other hand ran through his blonde hair, fingers teasing and lacing through
the surprisingly soft strands.
Willow
felt the vampire shift slightly, his lips pulling away from hers just before
they descended upon her neck, immediately finding that one, sensitive spot that
drove her wild, sucking and licking and nibbling softly.
The
redhead moaned, her head falling backwards as her legs tightened around
him. “Spike, please…” she whimpered.
“Not
here,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and low.
“You deserve better than this, Red.”
“Don’t
care,” she whined. “Please…just…need
this…now.”
Suddenly,
she felt him pull back and her legs slowly slid down to the ground, shaking
slightly. She looked up at him in a
mixture of confusion and dejection.
“Spike? I…” She began, her voice trembling.
He
stopped her, placing a finger over her lips.
“Shhh…Not gonna take you here, like this,” he told her, seeing her face
fall, thinking he was rejecting her. He
smirked slightly, and tilted her chin up until her eyes met his. “The crypt isn’t far,” he whispered.
Her
nose and forehead crinkled in confusion as she tried to understand.
A
moment later, the redhead found herself lifted up and tossed over the vampire’s
shoulder as he quickly took off toward the cemetery.
Part
6
Willow
moaned softly as she was slowly pulled from her sleep. Her body ached slightly and she opened her
eyes, glancing around, trying to remember where she was. It only took a moment to remember and a smile
quickly spread across her face as images from the previous night flickered
through her brain.
It
had been nothing like she imagined it would be.
He had been gentle, passionate and animalistic, all at the same
time. He had taken his time, teasing and
tormenting her, bringing her so close to the edge, again and again, and then
holding her there while she begged and pleaded for release. When she finally came, he was buried deep
inside of her and it felt more right than anything else in the world.
Afterwards,
he pulled her exhausted body against him, wrapping his strong arms around her,
murmuring to her until she fell asleep.
It had been so different than she had expected…and so completely
perfect.
Turning
her head, she was surprised to see that Spike was already awake, his head
propped up on an arm, watching her.
“How
long have you been awake?” She asked softly, the smile still spread across her
face.
“A
while,” was all he said, smiling back.
Suddenly
her eyes widened and she sat up. “Oh,
god!”
“What? What’s wrong?” He asked, looking worried
before his face suddenly hardened.
“Suddenly realize where you are and what you’ve done? Feeling a bit of remorse now?”
She
looked at him in surprise, not expecting his harsh tone or defensive
words. “What? No, Spike…no…I…I just realized…I left Dawn
alone all night. She…I can’t believe I did
that.”
Spike
sighed, filled with relief that the redhead wasn’t regretting what she’d done.
“I’m sure Dawn is fine,” he told her, reaching out and pulling her down to him,
kissing her softly.
Willow
moaned quietly, giving into the kiss for a moment, before pulling back and
shaking her head, trying to clear it.
There was nothing she wanted more than to be able to stay there forever
with the blonde vampire, but she knew that Dawn would be worried about her and
that she had to get back.
“Spike,
I’m sorry, but I have to go home. Dawn
will be worried.”
He
could see the sincerity in her eyes and nodded grudgingly.
“Alright,
go home and let her know you’re alright.”
She
smiled in appreciation and slowly pulled herself from the bed, seeking out her
scattered clothing. The redhead blushed,
feeling Spike watch her as she dressed.
“Can’t
believe you can still blush after last night, luv,” he said, waggling his
eyebrows at her with a smirk, chuckling as her crimson coloring deepened.
The
redhead leaned over to give him a good-bye kiss and Spike quickly grabbed her,
pulling her down into his lap, kissing her deeply. She felt a hand slide up under her skirt,
between her legs and gasped, closing her eyes briefly, her head falling
backwards.
“Sure
you can’t stay?” She heard him whisper, and she quickly pulled herself back to
reality and regretfully slapped his hand away.
“Th-that
was unfair, and just…mean,” she whined, struggling to get up.
“Gotta
make sure I leave you with a reason to come back,” Spike said with a satisfied
smirk.
Willow
looked toward him and rolled her eyes.
“You’re impossible,” she told him, turning and heading toward the
entrance of the underground cave.
“That’s
why you love me,” he called after her, as she made her way up the ladder.
Part
7
Opening
the door to the kitchen as quietly as possible, Willow crept into the
house. She closed the door slowly and
looked up, startled to see Tara standing at the stove, making pancakes for
Dawn, who was seated at the table.
“Oh,
crap,” she mumbled under her breath, giving Tara a nervous smile.
“Uh,
hey,” the redhead said quietly.
“Hi,”
Tara replied, equally uncomfortable. “I
just…you didn’t come home last night, so I just…” She paused, noticing something was different.
She couldn’t quite place it, but there was something… “I…I need to go,” she
said, making her way toward the front of the house.
Willow
watched as she left, thinking it best if she didn’t follow. As Tara walked out, Faith came in, giving her
a strange look as she passed her.
“Tara
was here last night?” Faith asked in confusion.
“Yeah,
I…uh…I guess she stayed over with Dawn,” Willow explained.
“Well,
I was here. Kid would have been fine
with me,” Faith said in slight annoyance, not noticing the face that Dawn made
behind her.
“I
guess she just thought she’d stay, or…” Willow trailed off, not knowing what to
say. There was clearly still tension
between Faith and Dawn, mostly on Dawn’s side, and she understood how the teen
felt, but hoped that it would pass soon enough.
“So,
where were you last night?” Faith asked, a slight smile on her face.
“Oh,
huh?” Willow looked up, having been lost in thought. “I…I was…out with Amy. Guess I lost track of time, and…is…is she
here?”
“Stopped
by this morning,” Dawn told her.
“Grabbed a few things and said she was heading over to see her
father.” Willow simply nodded, looking
distracted again.
“A-and
you’re okay?” She asked.
“Oh,
yeah,” Dawn said, nodding. “I mean, I
think my pancakes are burning, but…”
Faith
walked over to the stove and turned it off.
“No sweat, kid. I can make you
something. How about…”
Before
she had a chance to finish, Dawn stood up abruptly. “No thanks, not hungry,” she muttered, before
stomping away angrily.
Willow
glanced at Faith sympathetically. “She’s
just still…you know…It’s going to take her a little time to…”
“No,
hey,” Faith said with a forced smile, “I get it. No big.
So,
Red,
where were you really last night? I mean
I know you weren’t out with Amy, and you weren’t with us, researching the frost
demon thing, so…what gives?”
“I…Oh!
Oh!” Suddenly, Willow remembered the diamond and the invisibility laser. “I…I have to go…take care of something.” Before Faith had a chance to question her
further, Willow was heading back out the door.
~*~
Walking
into the basement of the small building, Willow made a face, looking around at
everything.
“Hello? Anyone here?” She called out. Not receiving any answer, she began searching
through piles of things, trying to find what she was looking for. She paused for a moment in front of a chalkboard,
reading the list of goals and rolling her eyes.
“I
thought I told you guys not to do this,” she mumbled, her eyes finally settling
on what she had come for. Walking over
to the far side of the room, she grabbed the laser gun and held it up,
remembering all the trouble it had caused last time. She raised it high in the air and was just
about to smash it when she heard footsteps come clattering down the wooden
stairs.
“Hey,
hey! Wait. No! Don’t do that!”
Willow
looked up to see Warren coming toward her, looking dismayed, Andrew and
Jonathan not far behind. The redhead
again rolled her eyes.
“Put
the gun down. Gently,” Warren said slowly.
Again,
Willow simply rolled her eyes.
“Yeah. We worked really hard on that. And getting the diamond…”
Andrew
began, stopping short as he saw Warren turn and glare at him.
“Do
you mind, moron? Do we really need to
tell her EVERYTHING?”
“Sorry,”
Andrew mumbled.
“I
already know about the diamond. I know
what this thing does,” she told him, “and I thought I specifically told you NOT
to make this.”
“Yeah,
how did you know about that, anyways?” Jonathan questioned.
Willow
didn’t bother to answer him.
“You
need to put an end to this, now,” she told them, her voice deep and menacing.
“Or
what?” Warren challenge.
“Or
what?” Andrew said in dismay. “Don’t ask
her ‘or what’ man. Remember Vader?”
“Shut
up,” Warren hissed. “Give me the gun,”
he said, glaring at
Willow.
“Hmmm…I’m
thinking…no,” she told him, grinning slightly.
“Give
it back to me right now, or so help me, I’ll…”
“You’ll
what?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow at him. “You couldn’t do anything to me if you
tried.”
“Oh
yeah?” Andrew replied. “We have super
powers. We can summon demons, a-and…make
really cool robots and stuff.”
“Yeah,
well I have a few super powers of my own,” she told him, holding the gun up in
front of her. Suddenly there was a flash
of light and the gun was gone.
“What…what
did you do?” Warren asked in dismay.
“I
told you! I told you she could do
stuff!” Andrew yelled out, stepping back.
“It’s
gone,” she told him, “and I REALLY suggest that you DON’T try anything else
like this. Got it?”
The
trio nodded, mouths hanging open in shock.
With a satisfied smile,
Willow
turned to walk away. Pausing at a table,
she grabbed a few blueprints.
“I
think I’ll just grab these as well,” she told them, glancing back.
“You
don’t mind, right?”
The
three numbly shook there heads, not knowing what to say, before she walked out.
Part
8
When
Willow returned home, she was met by an energetic Amy at the door.
“Hey!
So what do you wanna do tonight?” The former rat asked.
“Uh,
tonight? Actually, I think I’m going to
stay in tonight,” Willow told her uncertainly.
“I think I’m all Bronzed out for a while.”
“Oh,
well, I have a much better idea than that,” she told her.
“Uh,
Amy, I think…”
“I
know this guy.”
“Yeah,
listen, Amy, I’m really not interested in…any of that.”
“Come
on, Willow, just…”
“No!”
Willow yelled, suddenly. “Listen to
me. I. Am. Not. Going.
There. A-and you shouldn’t either. You remember all that…badness I told you about?
A lot of it had to do with Rack, and I’m not going there again.”
“Fine,”
Amy said angrily, crossing her arms.
“Why don’t you just go run off to your little vampire boyfriend.”
Willow’s
eyes widened in surprise. “What?”
“Oh,
come on, Willow, I’m not stupid. I know
where you went off to last night.”
“Amy,
I really think that…you…” Willow stopped as Dawn walked into the room.
“Whatever. Look, I’m outta here,” Amy said, stomping out
of the house.
“Huh. What’s her problem?” Dawn asked.
“Oh…uh…nothing…rat
issues,” Willow replied, thinking back to the events of this evening before and
remembering the danger she had put Dawn in.
She
wanted to make it up to her, even if Dawn was not aware of any of it.
“How
about you and I go out for dinner? On me,”
Willow said with a smile.
Dawn’s
face lit up. “Sure. I mean, I was going to try out this new
quesadilla thing, but…”
“Oh,
trust me, you don’t wanna do that,” Willow told her with a chuckle before they
both headed out to dinner.
~*~
Faith
came home not too long after Willow and Dawn left for dinner.
Seeing
that no one was around, she headed up the stairs. The Slayer quickly glanced
into Dawn’s room, seeing no one before heading toward Willow’s room. Noticing that the chest holding the witch’s
magic supplies was open, Faith walked in.
Squatting
down, she looked at the contents of the chest when something suddenly caught
her attention and she jumped up, spinning around and pinned a body to a
wall. Leaning back, she saw that it was
Amy.
“What’s
going on?” She asked her.
“Uh,
oh,” Amy muttered. “Busted.”
“Where’s
Willow?” Faith questioned, shaking the dark haired witch.
“She
said…she said I…I…I…could…no, wait!” She yelled as Faith let her go and grabbed
something out of her hands.
“What
is this?” The Slayer asked.
“It’s
not what you think! It’s sage,” Amy told her.
Faith
eyed the contents of the bag. “That IS
what I think it is,” she told her, before tossing it aside. “Where is Willow?”
“I
saw her, wanted her to go somewhere with me, but she didn’t…”
“Stay
the hell away from her.”
Both
women turned to look in the direction that the deep, threatening, male voice
had come from.
“I…I…there’s
just this guy, Rack, and…”
“Yeah,
I know who Rack is, and I’m telling you, don’t you bring that guy NEAR Willow,
got it?” He growled.
Faith
looked on with interest.
“She…she’s
probably there right now,” Amy lied. She
was angry that
Willow
wouldn’t hang out with her, and knew that the redhead had a thing for the
vampire, whether she would admit it or not.
If she was going down, she would just drag the other witch down with
her, whether what she said was true or not. Besides, Rack really had been
looking for Willow, having sensed her power, and what Rack wanted, he usually
got, so it wasn’t a total lie. There was
a very good chance he already had found Willow. “Her and Dawn…”
“She
wouldn’t go there,” Spike said with another growl, wanting desperately to slam
the witch into the wall and having to settle for Faith doing it instead.
“Oh,
don’t shake me again, super strength. I
think I’m gonna boot,”
Amy
muttered.
“Tell
me what you know,” Faith demanded, shaking her again.
“I…I
don’t know anything. Just that Rack
asked to see her. Wants her to come to
him. Willow and Dawn took off after,
just after I asked her to go. Bet she
went to see him.”
Suddenly,
Spike shoved Faith aside and slammed Amy into the wall again, ignoring the
slight pain in his head. “You listen to
me, and you listen good,” he said, his tone low and threatening. “You stay the hell away from that girl, or
you’ll be dealing with me, got it?”
Amy
nodded her head, clearly trying to keep from throwing up. Finally
Spike
let her go and she covered her mouth, running out into the hallway. Spike looked toward the slayer, who was staring
at him, an amused expression on her face.
“What?”
He asked gruffly.
“You
have a thing for Red,” she said with a smile.
“It’s
not a thing,” he grumbled.
“Oh
no?” She asked. “Hmmm…sure looks like a
thing to me. This anything like how you
were about Buffy?”
Suddenly,
Spike lunged forward, pinning Faith where Amy had been a moment ago. “This is NOTHING like Buffy,” he growled.
“Don’t even try to compare.”
“Hey,
hey,” she said, holding her hands up in defeat as he let her go,
“I’m
just asking. No need to get all
testy.” Spike rolled his eyes and let
out a deep sigh. “You and Willow…I think
that’s great. She needs someone right now,
you know? Just one thing. That girl’s been through a lot. You hurt her, in any way, and I’ll drive a
stake through your heart so fast, you won’t know what hit you.”
Spike
contemplated her threat for a moment, before finally giving her a slight
smile. “Deal,” he said, before the two
turned and walked out.
Suddenly,
he remembered something that Amy had said.
“You don’t think she would really go to see Rack, do you?” He asked.
Faith
shrugged. “You know Red a lot better than I do.”
After
thinking for a moment, he responded.
“Better go out and find her, just to be sure.”
Part
9
“I
can’t believe you did that.”
“Oh,
come on, Dawnie, it’s grownup time. You wanna play with the grownups, right?”
“Willow,
I don’t think that’s how most grownups ‘play’.”
“Aw,
come on, don’t be such a party poop.”
“I…I
think I might just go home.”
“No,
Dawnie, don’t.” Willow’s teasing
suddenly turned serious as she realized that the younger girl was really upset
with her. “It was just a fun joke.”
“Fun
for you maybe,” Dawn replied sulkily.
“You
didn’t think it was fun?”
“Willow,
it wasn’t even my birthday! It’s not even CLOSE to being my birthday!”
“So? That means we can’t have the waiters come out
with a cake and sing to you?”
“Yes!
That’s exactly what it means!”
“Oh,
come on! We got free cake! Plus…hot guys
singing,” she said, nudging the girl with a smirk and arched an eyebrow at her.
Finally
Dawn’s resolve fell and a small smile crept across her face.
“Well,
that one guy was kinda cute, and…oh! But, still…that was so mean!”
“You
should have seen your face,” Willow told her.
“It was priceless.
When
you realized they were coming to our table, and singing to you? I thought you would reach right over the
table and kill me right then.”
Both
girls dissolved into giggles as they continued their walk toward the movie
theater.
“What
the hell is so funny?”
Willow
and Dawn looked up to see Spike and Faith approaching them, both looking
decidedly unhappy. Willow’s smile
widened at the sight of the blonde vampire.
“Spike! Hey!
A-and Faith…what’s up, guys?”
“Wondering
that ourselves, Red,” Faith replied.
Willow
gave her a confused look.
“Ran
into your little witch friend tonight.”
Willow
immediately thought they were speaking of Tara and her face fell a bit.
“Amy,”
Spike clarified. “Was stealing some
supplies from your room.
Had
an interesting chat, she and I.”
“Oh?”
“Mentioned
you were going to see Rack, with Dawn.”
Willow’s
eyes widened in surprise. “She did? A-and you…what…believed her?”
“We
just wanted to find you, make sure she wasn’t telling the truth,”
Faith
told her.
Spike
reached out, letting his hand fall on Willow’s arm, but she quickly stepped
back away and glared up at him.
“Amy
told you I was going to see Rack, and that I was taking Dawn with me, and you
believed her?” Willow shouted. “How
could you believe her, Spike? After
everything I’ve told you, how could you?”
“Willow,
I didn’t believe her, I just wanted to be sure that…”
“You
just didn’t trust me. Not completely,
or…”
“Well,
come on, you haven’t exactly been totally honest with me,” he shot back,
feeling his own anger rise in response to hers.
“I mean, I only found out yesterday about the soul! Who knows what else you haven’t told me.”
“That’s
completely different, Spike! I left
certain things out so that
I
wouldn’t hurt you!”
Dawn
stepped away from the redhead, who was becoming increasingly angry. She glanced toward Faith nervously, not
exactly understanding what they were talking about.
“How
could you think that I would go to him again?
A-and especially with Dawn?” Willow could feel the tears stinging her
eyes but forced them away.
“Hey,
guys, listen…I think…” Faith began, trying to calm them down.
“Stay
out of this, Faith,” Willow growled, her eyes darkening slightly.
The
Slayer took a step back, shaking her head.
“A-and
after last night…” Willow continued, her voice weaker than before, “after
we…how could you think…”
“What…what
are they talking about?” Dawn asked Faith quietly.
“Uh,
why don’t we leave them alone,” Faith replied, steering Dawn away from the
arguing couple. “I’ll explain it to you
on the way.”
Dawn
nodded and followed the Slayer, utterly confuse by what Spike and
Willow
had been saying.
“Willow…”
Spike began, taking a step closer to the girl, who appeared to be running out
of steam, fast. “I didn’t believe her,
but I just wanted to be sure. I worry
about you. After everything that’s
happened, and knowing what you went through the first time, I just wanted to be
sure.”
“Right. Because you don’t trust me,” Willow replied,
looking down sadly.
“Should
I?” He asked, remembering again that she had left parts of what had happened
before out of the story.
Willow’s
head shot up and her eyes darkened again.
“How can you ask me that?” She growled, the anger again prevalent in her
voice. “If you don’t know the answer to
that, then…I…I’m…I’m outta here.”
At
that, the redhead turned sharply and walked away. Spike stood, watching her leave, a million
thoughts swirling through his head.
Part
10
He
wanted to trust her, and he did. Completely.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the witch at all. Spike supposed that, if
he was really honest with himself, he was feeling a little hurt and resentful
that she hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him everything. She had said that she didn’t want to hurt
him, and he believed her, but still…Now she was hurt, believing that he didn’t
trust her, when the truth was that he was hurt, thinking she didn’t trust him.
Spike
shook off the thoughts. Now he
remembered why love sucked so much. Why
did things always have to be so complicated?
Why couldn’t everything just work out… just once? Why did he have to go and fall for the little
redhead? Then he remembered. Her eyes, her smile, her scowl, her laugh,
the way she babbled, her intelligence…of course the list went on and on. Finally, Spike let out a deep sigh and headed
out after his witch.
Willow
was trudging through the cemetery, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as a
few tears slid down her cheeks. Why did
he have to be such a jerk sometimes? Why
did he have to act like such a…vampire?
He made her crazy so easily…but then, he could make her smile just as
fast.
The
thought that he didn’t trust her, that he thought she would go to
Rack…the
thought burned, deeply. She knew he was
feeling hurt that she had kept things from him, but still…he should have known
about something like that.
Hearing
a sudden footstep behind her, she spun around, a smile slipping across her face
as she expected to see Spike there. The
smile quickly melted away as she realized that it wasn’t Spike that was
following her.
“Rack,”
she growled, clenching her fists at her side.
“Good
to see you remember me,” the man said with a sneer.
“Re-remember?”
She asked.
He
nodded, as he stepped up to her, inhaling her scent. It was different this time, but still held a
hint of strawberries, and still utterly intoxicating.
“I
knew the minute you did it,” he told her, his voice hushed, making her skin
crawl.
“Knew? I…I don’t…” She began, wanting desperately to
get as far away from him as possible.
“Come
on, Strawberries. You’re smarter than
that,” he chided, running a hand along her arm, causing her to shudder in
disgust.
“Look,
I don’t know what you’re…”
“You
liked it last time. Liked it a little
too much, I guess,” he told her.
Her
eyes widened and he knew…she understood.
He remembered. Just as the
musical demon had remembered, Rack remembered what had happened before she did
the spell. He knew.
“Oh,
yeah, that’s right, Strawberries, I remember,” he said, seeing the
understanding in her eyes. “I remember
all of it. Right up until you came to
me, after your little girly was killed.
That part gets a little muddled. Any idea why that might be?”
Willow
shook her head, searching her thoughts for a way to escape this.
“Now,
you’re so strong. Could feel your power
miles away. I’m just dying to get inside
here,” he said, placing his hand on her chest, “and take a look around.”
“Keep
your hands off of me,” Willow growled, taking a step away, her eyes turning
black.
“Yeah,
that’s it, kitten, let it out to play.
You know you want to,” he said with a chuckle, feeling Willow’s rage and
power swirl around him. “Show me what
you can do.”
Willow
was fighting desperately to hold onto her control, though she could feel it
slipping fast. She wanted nothing more
than to destroy this man, just as she had the first time around, but she
couldn’t, and she knew it. The witch
could feel the energy crackling around her.
“You
don’t want to see what I can do,” she told him in a low, threatening voice.
“Oh,
come on…just a little taste,” he whispered, laughing again as he saw her take
another step back and close her eyes, feeling her control slipping away.
Seeing
his moment, he moved forward and placed his hand on her chest again, feeling
the energy run up through his arm.
“No,
please…” she whispered, feeling her strength sucked from her, her vision
becoming hazy.
“Come
on, baby girl, I just wanna have a little fun,” he told her with another laugh,
relishing the magic energy he was extracting from the witch as she whimpered
and tried to pull away. He had never met
anyone with power even close to what this girl possessed.
“What
about my fun?”
Willow
heard the voice, though it didn’t register with her who it belonged to. Rack turned his head to see who was behind
him and a second later Willow felt his hand pulled away from her. She slumped to the ground and looked up just
in time to see Spike break the warlock’s neck and drop the body to the
ground. Immediately, the vampire was
kneeling at her side.
“Red,
are you alright?” He asked, looking her over.
“I…yeah,”
she said, still a little dazed, “but how…the chip…”
“The
guy wasn’t exactly all human, you know?” He told her with a slight smirk. She gave him a small smile before he pulled
her into his arms, holding her in a tight embrace.
“I’m
so sorry, Willow,” he whispered. “I
never meant to doubt you.”
“No,
Spike…I…I should have told you…everything. I should have just told you.” She pulled back slightly and looked up at the
blonde before his lips descended on hers in a deep, passion-filled kiss.
Finally,
after what felt like eternity and yet ended all too soon, they broke the kiss,
Willow panting slightly. “Take me home,”
she whispered, not sure exactly where that meant and not really caring, as long
as she was with him.
Not
needing to be told twice, Spike quickly stood, scooping the redhead up in his
arms and heading back toward his crypt, not noticing a blonde witch hidden in
the shadows, watching them.