If Only I Knew Then

Chapter 4: Rising Waters

Drip. Drip. Drip.

 

“Where the heck was that stupid leak again?”  Willow slowly made her way down the stairs and through the dim basement.

 

Drip. Drip. Drip.

 

“You know, you’d think the second time around things like this would be much easier to manage.”

 

Drip. Drip. Drip.

 

“Gotta say…was liking it much better when this wasn’t my problem to deal with.”

 

Drip. Drip. Drip.

 

Coming up to the leaky pipe, Willow smiled in triumph.  “A-ha!  Gotcha!” She yelled out, holding her wrench up high.  Grabbing a large box, she moved it over and climbed on top, putting the wrench to the pipe with a clang, struggling to twist the loose section.

 

“Want me to call a plumber?”  Dawn called down the stairs.

 

“No, thanks Dawnie, I think I got it,” Willow responded, squeezing her eyes shut and pulling more on the wrench, though it wasn’t moving a bit. 

 

“Really wishing I had some of that Slayer strength right about now,” she mumbled to herself.

 

“You sure?  Got the number right here,” Dawn called down again, waving the cordless phone in the air.

 

“Yeah, I think I can handle it,” Willow said, finally stopping, jumping down and tossing the wrench to the floor.

 

“Why do this the hard way like last time?” She asked herself.  Pointing toward the leaking pipe she chanted a few words and suddenly the leak stopped. She crossed her arms and nodded, smiling triumphantly.  “There!  Good as new!”

 

Turning she trotted up the stairs, calling out to Dawn.  “All fixed! 

And you thought I couldn’t do it.”

 

As she slammed the basement door shut behind her, there was a slight creaking sound in the empty basement before spouts of water suddenly burst from several pipes, shooting water throughout the room.

 

Sitting down at the kitchen counter, Dawn looked toward Willow, who had been peering into the flooded basement.  Willow shut the door and walked over to her.

 

“Told you we should have called the plumber,” Dawn said with a told-you-so smile.

 

Willow sat down next to her, staring off into space.

 

A few minutes later, Xander came upstairs with his friend, Tito.

 

“And a big Sunnydale round of applause for Tito the Amazing, plumber extraordinaire,” Xander said enthusiastically.

 

”So how's everything looking down there?” Tara asked.

 

“Like we should start gathering up two of every animal,” Xander quipped.

 

“Basically, your pipes are shot. I mean, the whole system's gonna have to be replaced. What you need is a full copper…”

 

“No!” Willow shouted, remembering what happened last time.

 

“Wills?” Xander asked, looking at her strangely.

 

“No, uh…no full copper re-piping.  Can’t afford it, and it would get wrecked later anyways.”  Everyone looked at her strangely again.  “I…uh, it would…just…just trust me on this,” she insisted.

 

“Let me know what you want to do,” Tito told her, before leaving.

 

A little while later, Willow found herself sitting in the living room with everyone else, brainstorming about how they were going to pay for their daily living and demon-fighting expenses.

 

“Demon fighting is really an expensive lifestyle,” Tara said quietly.

 

“Yep.  People just don’t seem willing to pay for a good vampire staking these days, you know?”  Xander responded.

 

“Yeah, and spells and potions don’t get you too far,” Tara added.

 

“Will I have to quit school and start working on the streets?” Dawn asked. 

 

“Because my friend Jane, at school knows this girl, who knows this guy who’s sister’s brother’s…”

 

”Dawnie…I’ll take care of this,” Willow assured the worried teenager. 

“I…I’m just not sure how yet, but I will.”

 

“I know how!” Anya yelled, a little too loudly.  They all turned and looked at her expectantly.  “Um ... i-if you wanna pay every bill here, and every bill coming, and ... have enough to start a nice college fund for Dawn…” she paused, smiling brightly, “you and Tara, start charging.”

 

“For what?” They both asked in annoyance.

 

“You know…for doing spells and stuff.  Not only would you be providing a valuable service, performing spells to help people, but…you know, you could…make it a sort of show…with costumes and you could work the spells together and act all sensual and sexy….” Her eyes glazed over and she smiled lazily, mentally picturing her suggestion.

 

“Two girls performing spells together, I’m sure you would draw a good sized crowd.  It would be like a circus act!”

 

Both girls scrunched up their noses in disgust at the suggestion.

 

“We’re witches, Anya, not circus folk,” Willow explained, her voice hinting toward her irritation.

 

“A-and besides, that’s not what magic is for,” Tara added.

 

“Any other suggestions?” Willow asked wearily.  “Any less…insulting…suggestions?”

 

“Well, I mean…it’s not…SO crazy,” Anya said, pouting slightly.

 

“Yes, Anya, it is,” Willow insisted.  “You can’t charge people for helping them like that.”

 

“Doctors do it all the time,” Anya argued.

 

“That’s completely different.”

 

“Is not.”

 

“Is too.”

 

“Is not.”

 

“Is…argggg,” she stopped, shaking her head in frustration.  “Xander?”

 

Xander looked back and forth between the two.  Finally he answered. 

“Uh, I think they’re right.  Charging people to do magic would not be a good idea.”

 

Anya glared at her boyfriend.  “Why don’t you ever take my side?” 

Standing up she stormed out of the room, and Xander quickly jumped up, following her out.

 

“Anya, I AM on you’re side!” He yelled after her.

 

“I’m so glad you two don’t ever fight like that,” Dawn said, smiling at the witches.

 

Both Willow and Tara smiled awkwardly and looked away from each other and Dawn.

 

~****~

 

Willow sat in the stately loan office, nervously smoothing out her skirt and contemplating whether it would be ethical to cast a small spell to ensure she got the loan.

 

‘It’s not like I’d be stealing the money or anything,’ she thought to herself.  ‘Just, sort of, you know, persuading him to give it to me.’  Finally, with a defeated sigh, she decided against it.  Just then, the door opened and a man walked in.

 

“Sorry to keep you waiting. Carl Savitsky. Loan Officer,” he said, reaching out to shake her hand.

 

Willow stood, shaking his hand before they both sat across from one another.

 

“Willow Rosenberg,” she said with a nervous smile, “penniless college student.”

He didn’t look amused by her joke and as she was becoming increasing nervous, Willow did the one thing she knew how to do best….babble.

 

“I..uh, I didn’t know what you would need, so I kind of brought everything,” she gestured to a large, thick folder, handing it to him.  “I’m very responsible that way.  Really.  You’d be amazed.  In high school, I was such a nerd, but i-in a good way.  The responsible, dependable kind of a way…that…you know, makes people want to loan you money?”  She looked down sheepishly, trying to think of something better to say.

 

“Okay. I don't think I'll need this ... or these. Old report cards, definitely not,” he said, leafing through the papers.

 

“Oh, well, you know, I just thought…in case you wanted to see what a good, conscientious student I was, and…I graduated top of my class!  Would have given a valedictorian speech, ‘cept for the demon mayor that sort of cut graduation a tad short.”

She smiled weakly.  “So…about you giving me that loan?”

 

“Yes, well, uh, it looks as if, financially, uh, we have a bit of a tangle,” he told her, putting the folder aside.  “Miss Rosenberg, you have absolutely no collateral at all, no income and no job.”

 

Willow opened her mouth to speak when suddenly the body of a man came crashing through the window.  She jumped up and looked out into the bank lobby, hearing screaming and seeing people running in all directions.  Then, her eyes fell on a large demon standing in the middle of the room, just as he let out a loud roar. 

 

 “No job?  Yeah, right,” the redhead mumbled, rolling her eyes.

 

“Hey!” She yelled, getting the demon’s attention.

 

The demon turned around and looked directly at Willow.

 

“Yeah, you...the big demony guy causing all the fuss. How’s about you NOT destroy the nice, defenseless little old bank, huh?”

He stared at her for a moment, surprised to see this small redhead addressing him.

 

He took a few steps toward her.  “Yeah...I don’t think that’s going to be happening,” he told her, decidedly. “And I really don’t think a little girl like you is going to stop me.”

 

“I pack a lot more power than you’d expect, buddy,” she told him, “and unless you want your ass thoroughly kicked, I would suggest leaving...now.”

 

“Give me your best shot,” he challenged.  She gave a terse smile, before closing her eyes for a moment and mumbling something.  Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light and the demon found himself thrown back into a wall.

 

Pulling himself up, he shook his head, slightly dazed.  Before Willow had a chance to react, he was in front of her.  Just as he threw a punch, she shouted out a blocking spell and he found himself hitting a barrier in front of him.  Again and again, he tried in vain to attack her.  Finally, Willow reached an arm out, ready to throw another bolt of energy at him, when the demon grabbed a hold of the redhead and lifted her up.  As he began carrying her through the bank, he stopped suddenly, hearing a gunshot behind him.  Turning around, he saw a very nervous security guard pointing a gun at him.

 

“Put the girl down,” he shouted. Before Willow had time to react, the demon threw her into the guard, knocking them both to the ground.

Struggling to stand up, Willow saw the demon heading for the exit and began to call out a spell to stop him from leaving.  Before she was able to finish, the demon grabbed a nearby man and shoved him into her, causing her to loose her concentration long enough for him to escape.  With a huff and a sigh, she turned back toward the loan officer, still standing in his office with a stunned look on his face.

 

“Now, about that loan,” she said, trying to appear hopeful.

 

~****~

 

“He still turned me down!  Can you believe it?  It’s crazy!”  Willow exclaimed, plopping down onto the couch next to Anya.  “I mean, even if the bank did get robbed, which me, fighting the demon, couldn’t possibly have known...you would think there would be some kind of reward for that, right? But no!  They’re like, ‘Oh, we’re not gonna give you money unless you prove you don’t need it.’  I mean, what kind of system is that?”

 

“You know, I still don't get it. I mean, what kind of a demon would rob a bank?" Xander said, sitting down at a table with Tara and Dawn.

 

"The kind that wants money," Anya answered.

 

"What do you even call that?" He asked.

 

"This?" Dawn questioned, holding a book up. "This look like your guy, Willow?"

 

Willow looked over before nodding absently.  "Yep, that's him.  Maybe they turned down his loan application too."  She smiled and looked around but no one else laughed.  "This guy was pretty strong.  H-he didn't have any weapons that I saw, but he was really dangerous.  Packed a good punch, and..."

 

Willow stopped mid-sentance, as the front door burst open and a smoking blur ran into the room.  Shrugging off the smoldering blanket, Spike tossed it to the ground, his arms flailing under it for a minute, before standing up straight and taking a deep breath, smoothing out his hair with his hands. 

 

He looked around the room as nonchalantly.  "What?"

 

"Felt like a daytime stroll?" Xander asked, shaking his head.

 

"Well, yeah...got a bit bored sittin in the crypt," Spike responded.

 

"Aren't you supposed to…sleep during the day?"  Willow asked.

 

"Well..." he started, turning toward Willow, "I just...hey...what happened to you?" 

 

"I, uh, had a little run in with a demon at the bank this afternoon," she said quietly.  He took a step closer, looking over the darkening bruise on her face and she looked away, growing uncomfortable under his gaze.  She hadn’t seen him since the night she told him about where she was from and what she had seen and done.  Unsure of just how much to tell him, she had given him a slightly edited version.  He knew about Tara’s death, about Warren’s death, about her almost destroying the world.  He had been shocked and amazed, as expected, but she had been surprised at how much sympathy and comfort he had shown her, never once trying to give her a high-five or tossing in a “way to go” or “knew you had it in you.”  He seemed to know how what she had gone through had effected her and understood the sensitivity of the subject.  Beyond that, she had briefly filled him in on how Buffy had been when she came back and that The First had returned, but she left out Buffy and Spike’s relationship, thinking that hearing about it would only hurt the blond vampire.  She also didn’t mention his newly acquired soul, thinking it would lead to too many questions about why he had gotten it.

 

"Bank robbing demon?" He asked.

 

"I found him!" Dawn proclaimed proudly, showing him the book.

 

"M'Fashnik demon," he said with a nod.  "Nasty buggers.

 

"You know it?" Tara asked.

 

"Demons into slaughter and mayhem for the highest bidder," he explained.  "So the question you SHOULD be asking is what's out there powerful enough to control one of these things."

 

 

 

"We had a deal. You got what you wanted. Now give me what I want. The head of the Slayer," M'Fashnik demanded, slamming his fist down hard.

 

"Okay," Warren answered.

 

"Sure," Jonathan said.

 

"We can do that," Andrew agreed.

 

"Just one little problem," Warren added.  "Turns out, the...ah...Slayer is dead."  The demon growled lowly. "Yeah, it’s the darndest thing. See, we didn't know that either, before now."

 

"You hired me to create chaos and carnage for you. Told me you were powerful men, commanding machines, magicks, the demon realms below," the demon bellowed angrily.

 

"We are," Warren said with a nod.

 

"We're like, super-villains," Andrew explained.

 

"I will kill you," the demon growled, losing all patience.

 

"No, wait! Look, we said we'd pay you and we will!  It's not our fault the Slayer is gone," Jonathan explained.

 

"You can't pay me with paper," the demon told them.  "You promised the Slayer, and now you can't deliver.  For that, you must die."

 

"Okay, wait, I got an idea," Warren stated, moving over to the demon and putting his arm around him, handing him a small piece of paper.  "The Slayer is gone, but there's this whole little group of do-gooders that have taken over her job.  This is their address.  You want to kill a couple of good-guys...this is the place." 

 

The demon nodded, grabbing the paper with a growl before turning and walking out.

 

~****~

 

 

“Willow, how are you?” Giles asked Willow, sitting down next to the weary looking redhead at the kitchen table, huddled over a cup of tea.

 

“I’m ok,” she said quietly, not looking up from her cup.  “A few bumps and bruises, but nothing new there.”

 

“How are you doing, really, Willow, with your whole…time change?” He clarified.

 

She looked up at him and found she couldn’t lie with “goods” and “fines” right then.

 

“Not too good.  I mean, I’m managing, but…it’s hard,” she answered.  “A lot harder than I expected it to be.”

 

“You never really told me what happened…what was so bad, that you came back and that you were so…changed,” he told her. 

 

“You noticed that too, huh?” She said with a small, sad smile. Seeing that he was not going to give up easily on the topic, she thought for a moment about how much she should tell him. 

 

“I brought Buffy back…you know that much…and, I touched dark magic.  Darker than anything I’d ever come close to before.  I’ve gained so much power, but in the end, it got the better of me.”  He watched her silently, waiting for her to continue.

 

“Tara and I…we broke up when she tried to tell me I was using too much magic and I didn’t agree.  She was right, though and eventually I tried to quit, cold turkey.”  Giles eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him.  “I know now that was not the way to do it, but I didn’t know then.  A-and you weren’t there to help. You left.”  He looked away from her at her words, ashamed to think that he had just abandoned them when they needed him. “It’s okay, Giles,” she reassured him.  “It needed to be done.  There was a lot of other stuff too….with Buffy and with Spike and her having come from heaven.  Being here, with us again, it was like she was in hell…and I had done that to her.”  This time, it was her turn to look down, ashamed.

 

“I’m sure your intentions were good Willow. You had no way of knowing that she would be in heaven, and…”

 

“No, I know…but still...” she shook her head, clearing her thoughts a bit.  “There was a group of…nerds…that kept messing with Buffy and eventually she stopped them from carrying out whatever their master plan was.  Two of them were arrested, but one got away and he came to the house to shoot Buffy, and he did.”  Giles looked at her in surprise.  “She…she didn’t die.  I stopped her from dieing, but….Tara did.  Stray bullet through the window and…she died right in my arms.”  Giles listened in horror as tears began to stream down Willow’s cheeks.  “That was when I lost it, let the magic take control.  Killed people, hurt people…tried to destroy the world.  I…I almost killed you and then you and Xander…stopped me in time.”

 

“My god, Willow…”

 

“There’s more,” she explained. “The First returned, wiped out the council, killed a lot of potential Slayers.  You brought the remaining ones to us and we tried to fight it, but we weren’t winning.  We wouldn’t have won.”  She looked down, wiping at the tears on her face.

 

“Willow…I…I can’t imagine how you must feel…remembering all that,” he said in a quiet, shocked tone.

 

“It’s horrible,” she confessed.  “To remember what I had done, to remember what happened with Tara, and being with Buffy again…I feel so removed here. I feel like these people, my friends, are strangers.  They don’t know me…the real me, and I don’t remember them.”  She looked up at him, her eyes haunted and empty and whispered her next words.  “It’s killing me, Giles.”

 

“Willow, if I knew how to help…”

 

“There is something you could do,” she told him.  “I’ve thought about it, for a few days, and…I think…I want you to do it.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“There’s a spell…to forget.  I…I can’t perform it myself…just trust me on that, but…you could. I would ask Tara, but I don’t want her to know about any of this.  But if you performed it, and I didn’t remember anything from the last year, I could live my life normal and happy again, and…and I could just forget all the pain and suffering I keep reliving.”

 

“Willow, what you’re asking…I don’t know that it’s entirely wise.”

 

“Giles, please, I don’t know how much more I can take here, like this,” she pleaded.

 

“After everything you’ve gone through, Willow, you should know better than to ask for something like that,” he said angrily.

 

“I understand, Giles! Believe me, I do! I know how powerful magic can be, but I’m asking you to do this, only to me, for me.  Please…at least, just think about it.”

 

He nodded grimly and she stood up, walking to the door.  As she opened it, she turned around to look at him again.  “Giles, I know it’s a big thing for me to ask you to do.  I know it’s dangerous, but…it hurts SO much, and…I don’t know if I can survive in this world, like this.”  With that, she walked out into the backyard, leaving the watcher alone to think about her request.

 

~****~

 

Sitting on the steps to the back porch, Willow had her head down buried in her arms and resting on her knees.  Hearing a soft rustle of bushes near by, she lifted her head up, not bothering to turn and look in his direction.

 

“Hello, Spike,” she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. She was beginning to feel like she would never stop crying.

 

“You know, pet, one of these nights, it’s not going to be me skulking around your back yard waiting to take a bite out of your cute little neck.”

She gave him a little smile and he sat down next to her.

 

“I would ask how you were doing, but I suppose that would be a sort of no-brainer right now, wouldn’t it?” She simply nodded and rolled her eyes.

 

“I had a…talk…with Giles tonight,” she told him.  “He doesn’t understand…how hard it is…what I’m going through.”

 

“Doubt anyone can understand what you’re going through, Red,” he told her.  “Coming into this time from another, that’s got to be tough enough.  Throw in your girlfriend’s murder, your own decent into the darkness and memories of over a year of pain and suffereing…” he trailed off, looking at her with sympathetic eyes.

 

“I just don’t know what to do anymore,” she whispered.  “I’m so lost here.  I’m so…”

 

She stopped suddenly, hearing Dawn scream and the two ran into the house to find the large demon from the bank robbery attacking Giles and Dawn.

 

“Hey, you!” Willow shouted, getting the demon’s attention.  “Remember me?  Yeah…I think we have a little unfinished business!”  Before she could say another word, the demon was descending upon her.  Just before he reached her, a clawed hand out-stretched, Spike jumped in, throwing a hard punch in to the demon’s jaw.  He got several punches and a few good kicks in before the demon finally managed to connect a solid right hook with the vampire’s face, knocking him across the room and into a table, sending it and a lamp crashing to the floor.

 

“Man!  How am I supposed to fix that?” Willow shouted in frustration, calling the demon’s attention back to her.  This time, as he lunged at her, though, she was prepared and quickly held up her arm, sending a large bolt of energy into the demon, knocking him across the room.

Spike quickly recovered and grabbed the momentarily stunned demon, shoving him toward the kitchen.  Remembering how Buffy had killed him last time, she quickly shouted for Spike to head toward the basement and mentally flung the door open for him.  Spike let go of the demon as he reached the open doorway and Willow let loose one more heavy bolt of energy, sending the demon down the stairs and into the flooded basement before simply sending a bolt of electricity in after him, effectively electrocuting him.

 

Panting slightly, feeling a bit drained, she looked around, seeing everyone in the house staring at her in surprise.  Spike was the first to find his voice and looked up from where he had been peering down into the basement.

 

“You know it’s flooded down here, Red?”

 

~****~

 

The next night, Willow was sitting on the living room floor, trying to glue the broken lamp back together, with very little success, when Giles walked in, coming to sit on the couch next to her.  With a frustrated sigh, she tossed down the ceramic pieces she had been holding and hoisted herself up to sit on the couch beside him.

 

“I give up.  This lamp has had it,” she told him.

 

“Willow…I…I wanted you to know…I haven’t come to any decision yet about whether or not I’ll do that spell you asked about,” he told her hesitantly.  She nodded in understanding. “There are so many consequences to something like that to consider.  I just want to be sure it’s the right thing before I agree to do it.”

 

“I understand, Giles,” she reassured him.

 

“I also…wanted to give you…this,” he added, handing her a folded piece of paper.  She took the paper from him and slowly opened it.  Seeing the large amount written on the check, her eyes widened.  “Giles, this is…wow…I mean, I…I can’t accept this, can I?”

 

“Of course you can,” he told her.  “Willow, you’ve done so much, taken on so much, and being here, watching over Dawn…no one else could have done it.  This is the very least I can do to help you.”

 

“Giles, thank you so much,” she said, a genuine smile crossing her face as she leaned over and hugged him.  Sitting back, she thought for a moment before speaking.

 

“There’s something else I’ve been thinking about,” she said slowly.  “Being on the hellmouth, without Buffy…I think we need a slayer.”

 

“Yes well, I do agree, but…”

 

“I think we need Faith,” she explained, much to his surprise. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I’m not sure if I could even make it happen…if it’s even possible, but I think we should start…or I should start, looking for a way to get her out of prison and back here to help us.”

 

“What makes you think she would come here and help us even if you did get her out of prison?” He asked.

She shrugged.  “No idea, but it’s the only option we really have right now, so I think it’s at least worth looking into.  I mean, Buffy was always good at the whole demon fighting thing.  We do alright, but really, the rest of us, we were always much better at researching or getting donuts, or…you know, being the damsel in distress.  We need a new warrior.”  He nodded his agreement.  “I’ll start researching; see what I can come up with.  I’m thinking, until we find a way to actually get her out, we shouldn’t really bother mentioning it to the others.”

 

Again, he nodded.  “I suppose that wouldn’t hurt, for now.  Let me know if you come up with any ideas of how to get her out.”

 

This time, it was Willow who simply nodded, her mind already spinning with ideas.

 

 Previous Chapter Next Chapter