| We had tried for another 2 years for me to get pregnant, still nothing. I thought I had better make an appointment and make sure everything was still ok. John had a friend who�s wife had just had a baby and she had had problem getting pregnant too. I had asked for his name and made an appointment. A few weeks later I had an appointment with this new doctor, he seemed very nice and really seemed to take pride in his ratio of success with infertility patients, which was the first time I was called that, an infertility patient. He was very nice about the way he put everything though. I had gotten all my surgical records for him so he would know what the other doctor had found and did. He then let me know he wanted to do another Hysterosalpingogram to make sure my tubes were still open. I of course about died remembering the pain of the last one, it may have been 2 years ago but it might as well have been yesterday the memory was still very fresh. I reluctantly agreed to have it done, I mean what else could I do? I had no choice if having a child was what I had really wanted. Again an appointment was set up for about a week to have it done. The morning of the procedure I wanted so badly to turn around and just stay in bed, but my desire and drive to have a child was larger than anything I could imagine and it made me get up and go, alone again. My husband didn�t go to this one, and again I laid in this cold room with a large light in between my legs and a man truly a stranger to me doing things in such a private area. I felt the dye start to hit its mark, I was I tears asking him to stop it had hurt so bad, he urged me on and said almost Lori, I am almost done. He then yelled they are both open and fine. I felt so relieved, more so that the pain had stopped and then that my tubes were still open. I got dressed and asked what my next step was he told me to go to his office in a week and we would go to the next phase of testing to see why I wasn�t getting pregnant, I went home that night and let my husband know my tubes were ok, he seemed interested but not, by this time he did his own thing and was away a lot, either at car races or card games. It was hard because I had left my home and all my friends to move to his home when we got married and had very limited friends there, the ones I did have I really wasn�t close enough to and would never ask them to go to the doctors with me, yet my husband and I still had sex to try to have a baby. I went to my doctors appointment the next week, alone again. The doctor let me know he wanted to snip part of my uterus lining to run a few test on it , to see if I was ovulating and if I was , if the timing was right, he also took some blood, compared to the hysterosalpingogram him snipping my lining was nothing, what a relief! I had the follow up appointment a few weeks later. Everything came back fine, all my hormonal levels were normal. Because I didn�t have insurance I figured if everything was ok I didn�t have to go back and maybe my timing was just off and I needed to try something different. My husbands friends wife, the one that referred me to this doctor made copies of a chart for me and showed me how to tell my ovulation time by my temperature. I wasn�t very lucky with that though, my temperature never seemed to vary that much. I think by this time about 4 yrs later since I had started trying took its toll. I was tired of my husband not participating except in the sex part, I wanted him to want this as much as I did. It never ended up that way and eventually I was not happy in my marriage, the only way I would know he was leaving was to hear the car start up, he would say he would be home in an hour and 3 hours later after no call and cold dinners I just didn�t care anymore, I was falling out of love with him and had to decide weather my happiness as a person or having a baby was more important. I wanted to try, I honestly did I figured this was the man I said I do to I had to at least try. I feel I did, but I did that alone. One day I just packed my stuff called a friend and left. Needless to say he freaked out, he stalked me for a long time and I let him know it was over. |
| He eventually moved from our small town in NY to Illinois, it had been about 6 months that we were separated, he established himself and called me and basically begged me to give him another chance, that he had changed and really wanted me and wanted a family. I took sometime and knowing I was not in love with him and that again I would leave the place I had moved to be with him, where I had now established some good friends, were I now considered home, I would leave once again because of my loyalty to whom I said I do to. I took a train from NY to Illinois, were I went with him to live at his uncles until we had gotten our own place. His uncle was married to a woman who had already had 3 kids and wanted one with him, she apparently knew a lot about having babies, and my husband was very eager to try to have a family. I didn�t doubt that for the simple fact it would mean he would be sure I wouldn�t leave him if I did. I was actually very excited because I thought � wow� I am in Illinois not far from Chicago, I knew there would be some good doctors there, that I had more than the small town choice. I found one from a referral and set an appointment. I walked in the office that day, again alone very excited though about the possibilities of what could happen. I filled the doctor in on my history and let him know about my surgery and that I had had 2 Hysterosalpingograms, I heard the best news I have heard in a long time at that moment, he said he was not going to do another one of those because if my tubes had stayed open the 2 years in between the 2 test odds are they would stay open, I was more than overjoyed by that. Then he asked me what I had never thought to ask myself � has anyone ever asked about your husband being tested?� My eye�s widened and I thought hmmmm they had not, I guess the doctors as well as myself had always assumed it was me because of my tube being blocked only once. He told me befor he did any test to me he wanted my husband tested for sperm count. I let him know I would talk to my husband and get it all set up. I think I laughed to myself all the way home knowing the man who never went to any of my appointments, but wanted us to have a family so badly now was going to have to put up or shut up. I was actually surprised when I let him know that and he actually agreed to go. He went to his appointment, alone. We got a call from the doctor about a week later and we set up an appointment. I think it�s the only one we had gone to together. We went in and he let us know Johns sperm count was normal and things seemed normal for me, he then said what I had waited 5 yrs to hear, he was going to start me on fertility pills and not only that, they were going to do artificial insemination. I was in shock. Unfortunately I still had no insurance but was pleased to see it�s not to expensive for the artificial insemination. |