| A year had gone by and John and I were very happy and doing well, but I wasn�t pregnant and we never used any form of protection. John had 4 sisters and 2 of them had babies. I talked to one of them and had asked them whom their doctor was, since I had still not seen one. I scheduled an appointment, the doctor happened to be a specialist. I showed up for my appointment and was called in about an hour later. The Doctor came in and introduced himself, as did I � my name is Lori � I started my story. I let him know my husband and I had been trying to have a baby for a year with no protection and nothing was happening so could he please start me on fertility pills? He looked at me funny and said in a voice I hardly understood � it doesn�t work that easily� He needed to do the exam obviously. I let him know I had regular cycles I started every 28 days. As I was being examined I felt a very sharp pain up my left side, the doctor stopped and told me to get dressed and then meet him in his office. I figured something was wrong since he stopped and I didn�t think feeling a pain like that was very normal. The exam seemed so short. I entered his office and he looked up and told me to have a seat. I remember hardly being able to understand him and he seemed distant, like it didn�t matter to him weather I got pregnant or not. He continued on to let me know he wanted to do a Hysterosalpingogram, of course me not even getting a check up was like � a what? � he explained to me he thought something was wrong with my tubes. He went on to let me know they would basically insert a catheter and then shoot dye through it to check and see if both of my tubes were open and working. I didn�t think much of it and we set up the appointment for a week later. That morning John and I got up early and he had taken me to the hospital were it would be done. I asked if he could come in while it was done and they would not let him. As the process went on I thought �well this isn�t so bad� that is of course until they started to inject the dye. I wanted to jump of the table, the cramping was very intense and I could see the t v monitor of my tubes but of course didn�t know what I was looking at. I was just glad when it was over, although when I got up to get dressed I thought I was going to pass out, I never expected it to hurt so badly. They wanted me to go give blood after that to the lab too and when my husband saw me he took one look at me and said no way are they having blood right now and he took me home. A week later I found myself back at the doctors office to get the results from what I thought was the most pain I had ever felt in my life, you can tell I haven�t had a baby, (and yes I can giggle about that ) anyway I got called in again and found myself get an answer from a doctor I could hardly understand and was afraid to ask again because he didn�t seem to caring , but he was the best in the small town I lived in. He got the folder from his nurse looked at the results and then at me to let me know my left tube was blocked from top to bottom basically the blockage was the size of a sausage, I believe my eyes about came out of my head and my heart was in my stomach, but of course it never ends there when you are getting bad news, he let me know my right tube was open so it seemed strange that I still wasn�t getting pregnant, he continued on to let me know I would have to have a laparoscopy, again I was thinking � a what? � I would like to consider myself a pretty intelligent woman, I have been through so much in my life leading up to this next hurdle, boy did I feel stupid right at that moment I asked him what that was and he gave me a fast break down that it was a surgical procedure and that they would go through my belly button and insert a telescope so they could see my tubes �surgery! � I had never even had a broken bone. My heart had never beat so hard. I asked him when it had to be done and he let me know within 2 weeks. I was thinking more like 2 years so imagine my surprise when he said 2 weeks. I asked why it had to be done so soon, he let me know with the size of the blockage in my left tube if I waited I would take the chance of my tube rupturing. So of course I scheduled it with the hospital, I was given a pamphlet on the procedure and sent home. I read part of it that night and stopped at the point that I was told a tube would be put down my throat. I guess I figured I would be out anyway so I didn�t want to know what they were going to do. The 2 weeks leading up to surgery felt more like 2 minutes because I didn�t want to do it. The came the other major obstical through this whole ordeal for me I had no health insurance, but what could I do? Let my tube rupture because I didn�t have insurance? Of course not. |
| My mother came to be with me for surgery, I think when all this stuff came up John kind of lost interest in it all, you know the old story where sometimes people tell you in the beginning of a relationship what you want to hear and then when it comes down to it , it all changes. My husband never went when I had surgery, thank god for my mother, she was the only one there with me. Surgery was supposed to take 45 minutes, but of course since it had to do with me and my luck it took close to 2 hours and of course my mother was panicking because no one had filled her in and she had expected me back in my room by then. And then there is the recovery time, so here I am 2 hours after surgery still in the recovery room waking up to the slight voice that I heard calling , �Lori��.Lori? � I opened my eyes to see this very blurry person with a slight shadow of a face calling my name I squinted and to my relief after a few moments saw the face turn into a nurse. I then felt the oxygen mask come off and heard someone tell me to take deep breathes. The next thing that happened was the nurse coming over to me and asking if she could remove my bandage to show the other nurse the tattoo on my stomach, of course being out of it I said �.or more like nodded. I thought this is very odd, it all felt so surreal. I finally got back into my room to my mother who was very happy to see me. All I knew at the time was the aweful taste in my mouth and how dry my throat felt. Next thing I knew the nurse came in with macaroni and cheese for lunch, I thought you have got to be kidding me, 5 minutes back in my room and they are giving me macaroni and cheese? I looked at my mom and told her to eat it and asked if she could get me a popsycle, she tracked one down which looked far better than the macaroni and cheese. After that the next order of business for me was to take a nap, I remember the door always being closed and I found out why shortly after I woke up. Since the town I had lived in was small there was only 2 hospitals there, one for specific nights of the week and the other one for the other nights. They were getting ready to combine the 2 into one. When I awoke I asked my mom to open the door, she was hesitant but did. They had me on the maternity floor, I was right across from the nursery. She thought it would bother me, but it didn�t at all for all I knew I was fine and the next time I would be there would be to deliver my baby. About 2 hours later the doctor came in to let me know what he did, he said they unblocked my left tube and that my right tube had been layered with scar tissue so there was no where the sperm could go for me to get pregnant, he let me know they cleaned everything up and that I should be ok. I had my follow up appointment 6 weeks later. I had developed a cyst but otherwise everything was fine, except for the fact that he still seemed distant to me and like he really didn�t care weather I got pregnant or not. I had made the decision then not to go back to him. Then my next issue, my husband not being there for the surgery, I think it started to take its toll on him, the talking about it, the bills and surgery. He eventually forgot and seemed to really want a baby again. |