Circumstances preventing Bryan Ward from writing work on "Say Goodbye to Yourself" for one month's time have given him opportunity to remaster The Seagreen Incorruptible's Posthumous Music back catalogue from the original master tapes.
Posthumous Music: Volume 1 - Synchronized Dreaming will be posted in the next few days along with outtakes and rare sounds unheard for over ten years.
March 01, 2007:
Media content has finally been added!
Please visit the Download section to see what's been included.
MP3s and video files from The Seagreen Incorruptible's entire history will be added regularly.
February 01, 2007:
It's February, and still nobody to wish a Happy New Year to.
Work on "Hotel Coffin Assemblage / Casablanca II / Ghostbusters 2 / Back to the Future 2" continunes steadily as bottomless depression and humanity abandonment permits.
Visit the "Hotel Coffin Assemblage" page for record information.
December 09, 2006:
Thanks to everyone who came out for the recent show. There will not be another.
A publisher word count approximation places the current and second draft of "Say Goodbye to Yourself" at exceeding 900 pages. A Wikipedia publishing article qualifies this as an "Epic."
November 19, 2006:
Bryan Ward has just completed the first draft of "Say Goodbye to Yourself."
The Seagreen Incorruptible are scheduled to perform at The Darkroom in Chicago on November 27 @ 9:30 for their only show this year.
September 26, 2006:
MILFORD, N.H. - A teddy bear has been implicated in 2,500 deaths. Of trout, that is. State officials say a teddy bear dropped into a pool at a Fish and Game Department hatchery earlier this month clogged a drain. The clog blocked the flow of oxygen to the pool and suffocated the fish.
Hatcheries supervisor Robert Fawcett said the bear � a Paddington Bear dressed in yellow raincoat and hat � is believed to be the first stuffed bear to cause fatalities at the facility.
"We've had pipes get clogged, but it's usually with more naturally occurring things like a frog or even a dead muskrat," he said. "This one turned out to be a teddy bear, and we don't know how it got there."
The deaths prompted Fawcett to release a written warning: "RELEASE OF ANY TEDDY BEARS into the fish hatchery water IS NOT PERMITTED."
He said it's not known who dropped the bear, but urged anyone whose bear ends up in a hatchery pool to find a worker to remove it. "They might save your teddy bear, and keep it from becoming a killer," he said.
"It's kind of a cute little teddy bear and people wouldn't think that a cute little teddy bear would be able to kill fish."
August 8, 2006:
With studio access limited during the recent Chicago heatwave, Bryan Ward has concentrated on compiling a working draft of his book, Say Goodbye to Yourself.
August 1, 2006:
This past week, Calvin Shields performed at Hotti Biscotti in Chicago and, contrary to his experiences with The Seagreen Incorruptible, actually received apologies from the staff rather than the other way around.
Recording work on Win a Date With Galactic Heartthrob's "Lose Weight, Feel Great" has been called off indefinitely.
July 16, 2006:
It has been said that finding true love is easier than finishing Proust. Well, somebody please bring on the true love because after many pleasant weekends of reading on the job, Bryan Ward has finished the final volume of In Search of Lost Time, coincidentally on the same day Syd Barrett passed on.
Death sometimes supersedes the impact of those around us, the various personalities supporting the art that is our own lives. In this way, people who have never heard or seen us, in our personal canonization of their words, pictures, and sounds advance our own condition, deepen our senses, sensitize us to exposures of beauty, and continue to inspire and comfort in the later stages they themselves have unknowingly helped design.
June 18, 2006:
We've added the first piece of multimedia content in over seven years!
The Patron Saint of Space, Dave Duck, has directed a stop motion animated video for "Flying Machine Built from a Bird Corpse" of all things.
The song was originally released on the Bon Voyage LP in 1997.
The tyranny of Bird Corpse continues unabated!
June 4, 2006:
Casablanca Two: Hotel Coffin Assemblage; Ghostbusters 2, Back to the Future: Part 2 and Calvin Shields' Win a Date with a Galactic Heartthrob are both moving along reasonably well.
Bryan Ward is lazily digitizing the ENTIRE back catalogue of The Seagreen Incorruptible for a twenty-four hour / seven days a week internet radio streaming - for a large fee - from this site in the near future. Obviously, these guys never threw anything out, so there is tons (read: hours upon hours) of unheard material.
April 23, 2006:
The very moment The Seagreen Incorruptible finished 10 Things to do with 90,000 Sequins, their new record label, Birds & Rockets, went bankrupt.
In other news, Bill Lyon is now playing in a Seagreen Incorruptible cover band!
April 7, 2006:
10 Things to do with 90,000 Sequins has finally been mastered!
Does this finally conclude the painstaking making-of process?
Hell, no!!
Unsatisfied with the smooth jazz sound post-mastering, Bryan Ward has elected to remix the original final mixes of 10 Things... and release the record without engaging in the predictable process of record mastering whatsoever.
Make sense? Of course not.
April 1, 2006:
The marathon of drinking, lethargy, and self-abasement that was the mixing of 10 Things to do with 90,000 Sequins has finally concluded!
Birds & Rockets will still be releasing 10 Things to do with 90,000 Sequins with Chubbsy Christmas hat artwork on compact disc this summer, just in time for your top down, mermaid fondling drug binge. The true release date will be posted when the language of the manufacturor & distributor is figured out and a translator secured.
Bill Lyon has elected Calvin Shields to finish his Win a Date With a Galactic Heartthrob LP, "Lose Weight, Feel Great" with Bryan Ward at Spectra Mobile in - home of the worst sounding room in Chicago.
Could a Brian Thomas solo record be far off?
March 1, 2006:
Primarily known for his primal, lenitive rapping under the evocative name Patron Saint of Space, local artisan Dave Duck is currently filming a video for The Seagreen Incorruptible.
In typical band fashion, the video will not be promoting a track off the upcoming 10 Things to do with 90,000 Sequins album, but rather a stop motion featurette for the old chestnut "Flying Machine Built from a Bird Corpse;" a song more than ten years old and openly despised by at least one member of the band.
Somehow, the clip will hopefully be available on this site soon after its completion or released on an extremely ill-advised DVD retrospective.
February, 24 2006:
For the first time in over a year the founding members of The Seagreen Incorruptible were all in the same room together. Two cried and all three laughed while enjoying leftover holiday beer bought on clearance.
January, 25 2006:
This update marks the end of a very special era for The Seagreen Incorruptible.
Bill Lyon's Marantz 4-track recorder has died.
With it goes the last link to the dream of committing suicide rather than be formally educated and the decade-long Posthumous Music series of home recordings.
As one shit encrusted door closes, a window gradually opens allowing in the scent of dead skunk.
Bill Lyon has nearly finished demoing the feel-great record of fuckfest 2006 "Lose Weight, Feel Great" under nom de plume Win a Date with a Galatic Heartthrob.
Bryan Ward has finished mixing Pitchfork writer and fellow Egg Nog enthusiast Dominique Leone's premiere release for the Birds & Rockets label.
No one knows what Brian Thomas is doing.
Finally, Birds & Rockets has agreed to release the finished version of "10 Things to do with 90,000 Sequins" with original Chubbsy Christmas hat artwork! Release is scheduled for late spring / early summer with actual tour dates with actual band members.
November, 04 2005:
Whatever's left of The Seagreen Incorruptible will 'perform' at the Darkroom (2210 W. Chicago Ave.) on Monday, November 7th.
Start the holiday season off in suffocating misery at the Darkroom!
February 19, 2005:
Due to the overwhelming response from you - the fans - "10 Things to do with 90,000 Sequins" will finally be finished!
We almost hired a secretary to handle the volume!
A grand total of one letter was received; the text of which follows as written:
please mr. ward, please finish 10 things to do...my valentines day will be meaningless without it!!!
As much as we hate to dump on anyone at this website (especially our one semi-literate fan), The Seagreen Incorruptible are confident that your Valentine's Day was quite meaningless indeed.
Enjoy your ride down the black waterfall!
January 17, 2005:
Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday (where applicable), Happy New Year's, and Happy MLK Day from the Seagreen Incorruptible.
Wow, no update for half a year! This is one extremely busy group, huh?
As might be expected, recording sessions for the new LP never happened.
"10 Things to do with 90,000 Sequins" remains unfinished.
If a single person writes in requesting its completion, Bryan will walk the ten paces down the hall to the computer and sit there for a total mixdown before vomiting and going back to sleep.
The fate of this album rests in your lithe fingers dear listener!
August 27, 2004:
Have you caught the Hotel Coffin Assemblage Fever?
The Seagreen Incorruptible will begin recording their new LP over the next week!
Fortunately, Bryan Ward will not be producing, and suicidal mainstays Billy Lyon, Brian Thomas, and Dave Duck have all elected, perhaps through the silence of the grave, not to return. As of this release, Cancer Smock is the only remaining functioning band member.
Cancer Smock, will attempt to finish the bloated opus "10 Things to Do with 90,000 Sequins" this week, a record that cost $57,000 and will be liked by no one, especially you.
August 10, 2004:
Thanks for visiting the site!
July 16, 2004:
Someone went back to the dawn of time and hit your caveman self in the head with a rock.
Fuck you and your understudy.
June 11, 2004:
Several people reported witnessing Bryan Ward running amok in N. Indiana with silver nitrate pouring from a cauterized nasal cavity.
These reports were indeed accurate.
Beauty has been eliminated from all living things.
This is the revenge of the dead.
Have a terrible summer.
April 22, 2004:
Bryan Ward has been officially replaced by a sink full of blood.
Shares of Seagreen have climbed steadily since morning.
April 14, 2004:
Well, it looks like money pit/time bandit known as "10 Things to do with 90,000 Sequins" is finally coming to an end.
In preparation for The Seagreen Incorruptible's upcoming live date at Subterranean, opening the festivities for the ?nd annual AV/Explo, Bryan hastily assembled a presentable version of the album for the sole purpose of selling it for COLD HARD CASH!
The Seagreen Incorruptible will be starting at 7:30 Central time on Saturday, the 17th and play for roughly eight minutes.
This is not a joke.
After a phoenix-like set, the band will lead followers into the sunset - roughly 8:08 Central time.
There will be no refunds.
Absolutely no refunds.
If, for some reason, you'd like an advanced copy of "10 Things to do with 90,000 Sequins," please send an email or something.
It's like sharing an apartment with a drunken velociraptor.
Ah yes, the shit release valve has been pulled.
April 2, 2004:
The Seagreen Incorruptible will be dead by the end of this sentence.
If you knew anything except crap, you'd have killed yourself in the womb.
Everything meaningful has been handed to a worthless hobgoblin. No running!
The ultimate swimwear model fathered the black week.
The Seagreen Incorruptible have accomplished everything they ever wanted. That's why they convinced your Mammy to disect you in the pre-Civil War void that was your momma, extreme fucknut.
November 3, 2003:
The perfect moment for us to talk has past.
You missed The Seagreen Incorruptible last in October because you were dead.
Now that you're back to life, see them at Subterranean on the fourth Monday in November.
The uncontrollable binge drinking that has sabotaged efforts to complete a final album mix has now been replaced by uncontrollable hatred of arch-enemies, public falling down, and internet traffic school for tickets received on lame ass birthdays.
A high five from a baby is a precious thing.
"10 Things to do With 90,000 Sequins" is scheduled to be mastered by somebody in late Novemeber.
Could it be you?
August 31, 2003:
It's raining inside your monitor.
Would an elephant that rules the orange evening sky vomit stars only from his mouth or from his trunk as well?
This is all that remains of a deathly serious letter that Bryan Ward wrote a mere fortnight ago to in effort to stave off death in an abandoned basement hovel.
Newborn babies are all virtually insane.
In more uplifting news, the bright colored liquid in your wife's wine glass is really watercolor paint.
"10 Things to do with 90,000 Sequins," will hopefully be completed over the next weekend when final drum tracks and midnight graveyard banshee wailings are scheduled to be recorded. Mixing will be a pleasant, drunken blur and then on to the pressing plant!
As soon as we regain focus on the keyboard, lyrics and hate mail pages for the new record will be activated.
Just like Metallica.
"I wish I had something meaningful to tell you, but then you probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. Like the time I told you that calling the new omelet at your all night diner "Spider Fuck" was not a good idea."
Brian Thomas was pistol whipped by Jasper, the flamboyant Anglo magician.
Bill Lyon was abandoned on a pungent hospital cot, weeping for his uncontrollable toy car that was last seen bound for a destination unknowable.
And you - are totally fucked.
August 1, 2003:
As was alluded to in a previous update, The Seagreen Incorruptible are in the final stages of production work on their first studio LP.
In actuality, the production work consists of Bryan Ward recording deflated basketballs and unlit candles in between alcoholic blackouts and sending menacing and bizarre emails to local bands demanding grammatical corrections on their own web sites.
The studio itself, resting unpeacefully in the middle of a bog, consists of a damp, haunted basement, packed with spacious valleys of slimy, overflowing sinew, a perpetually frozen Frosty, and several dozen eunich servants.
"10 Things to do with 90,000 Sequins" is realistically scheduled for ultimate completion by September 31.
The motherfucker:
Make a Dress
Decorate Your Teeth
Confetti
Shove Them Up Your Ass
End Your Life
Sprinkle Your Ice Cream
Build a Castle
Treat Your Senile Mother Well
Wading Pool
Invest
Andre the Giant vs. Andre Dawson. Who had the better life?
The video game.
Jukly, 20 - 2003:
Bryan Ward.
Bill Lyon
Brian Thomas.
Socrates killed all of the above with a large piece of concrete.
New record coming out in a month~! Professionally recorded by anti-professionals.
"Fuck you!" says Yoda.
"Absolutely horay for... I don't care if I'm misquoted," says Dave Duck, session mascot and guest vocalist(s) / floutist.
More to come, if you can fucking handle it - professional knob.
April 29, 2003:
The Seagreen Incorruptible spent more time throwing up last week than at work in the studio.
A message was recently posted on the Forum section of www.moonpix.com by a drunk guy that Bryan met after one of last month's Cat Power shows.
It reads in part:
i was impressed with her friend.
i was really drunk, so i dont remember the whole thing, but we had fun talking, and they knew who darby crash was. anyone that knows who darby was and can appreciate a real growl is cool as air, in my book.
he was looking like really clean cut, really like i duinno, almost like yale or some shit. That's what was even cooler about him knowing who darby was. And the other guy too, her friends are really cool people.
i bet they were just random people that were lying to me, but that's cool too.
haw ha.
Random, yes! Lying to a drunk, never!
Cool as air, baby. Cool as air.
April 24, 2003:
Breaking News!!!
Bryan Ward and Bill Lyon have formally begun recording the first album by The Seagreen Incorruptible in over six years! The full length record, entitled and detailing "10 Things To Do With 90,000 Sequins," is scheduled to be completed by late June / early July.
This record promises to do for sequins what Astral Weeks did for viaducts!
More Breaking News!!!
After one promising tracking session, Bryan has vowed never to record music again, while Bill has locked himself in his basement to avoid being taken to the studio.
April 9, 2003:
Will this be the month you evaporate?
All alone on an inhospitable afternoon with no food, Bryan Ward began tracking material at Spectra Mobile. The session was "an unmitigated disaster."
The previous week was squandered watching the first season of Twin Peaks (in 2.0 sound!)
Bryan Ward and Bill Lyon have revolutionized the walk on... by making unsolicited appearances in people's dreams. You could be next! Save me mama!!
Brian Thomas went to work on Saturday.
The "Say Goodbye to Yourself" lyrics were never updated. Surprised? I'm not.
Bryan Ward is scheduled to appear at the Downer's Grove library this upcoming Monday. He will be signing all sorts of books until the police are called.
March 29, 2003:
World class turntable jockey Kid Koala took time out of his book launch tour last weekend to give Bryan Ward some encouragement. In regards to the "Say Goodbye to Yourself" project, Eric San told him to "keep on." Bryan then alienated him by running off in mid sentence to catch a train that he missed anyway.
Several people caught the Black Death last weekend at Brian Thomas's band Earl Grey's maiden performance in the evening shadow of the United Center. Looking forward to the next one, guys!
Not to be outdone by Bill Lyon's exhaustive letter writing campaign to Queen Latifah, Bryan Ward is now at the post office mailing bootlegs to Austria.
Lyrical stocking stuffer will be replenished in the next few days!
March 13, 2003:
Bryan's coat served the enviable function as a pillow for Chan Marshall last weekend.
As for Bryan himself, he failed to convice Chan on the merits of Doral Menthols and completely forgot to propose. A top experience!
When not busy suffering from episodes where he enters into a state of his own living death or smelling paint where there is none, Bryan is talking with a wide variety of musicians to organize a coin twirling tournament.
Any interested parties should send email through this site's address.
Realizing that the technology to create MP3's has been in our possession for years now, The Seagreen Incorruptible will have a few tracks available for download in the near future - our time.
February 12, 2003:
Hey~ What's up motherfuckers?
If you want to know what's going on, all you have to do is ask.
February 07, 2003:
All planned recording sessions, tour dates, etc.. have been cancelled, with the exception of the permanent rainbows.
Progress on Bryan Ward's "Say Goodbye to Yourself" album will continue its painful, delirious crawl, as he now insists on releasing the multi, multi disc set in full length dub form.
Bryan Ward's car was recently towed, against his will.
January 22, 2003:
Welcome all new drummers/bassists of The Seagreen Incorruptible!
The band is scheduled to enter the recording studio in early February to record full band arrangements of several new tracks including "Albino Goblin" and "President Pumpkin, Your Wife is a Gourd."
The results will be issued via mini-cd throughout the seedy Chicago underworld as the premiere release of a new record label run by a local Dragonball-Z fan club. Sadly, this is not a joke.
Inspired by his new found love of dub, Bryan Ward is currently planning a wide scale tour with the best band in the world - Fat Man's Misery. Check back for tour dates that will never appear!
Bill Lyon is approaching renewal status on his library card. Will time run out for the Invisible Minstrel?
In Brian Thomas news, the man himself will be signing autographs for a limited time at the Guided By Voices show at the Metro this Friday night.
Lyrical stocking stuffer has been replenished.
December 6, 2002:
Bryan Ward recently checked out Sterne's fictional memoir "Sentimental Journey" from the Columbia College Library, prompting one hipster to remark "it looks like that book's been on a sentimental journey, man."
Bill Lyon is currently teaching a homemade windchime class at a local community college.
With his residuals from "The Great Depression," Brian Thomas recently purchased a car that he never heard of.
In a matter of days, a battery of new songs will be added to the "Say Goodbye to Yourself" lyric database; the perfect stocking stuffer.
November 6, 2002:
Earlier this week, Bill Lyon had a premonition that Bryan Ward was dead. This was later proven false.
Bryan Ward, suffering from work, drug, stress, political, art, news, film, Goya, and seasonal related insomnia, has been recently plauged by disturbing nightmares. Main themes include being killed on a Swiss hillside by a Slinky-esque waterfall, and the death of Morrissey.
Last night, at his bookstore job, Bryan was offered ownership of two slices of sausage pizza, because, he was humorlessly informed, "nobody else wants them." He is currently seeking new employment.
This morning, Bryan heard the worst imaginable sound in the physical plane. He was last seen soaking his head.
Brian Thomas may or may not have ordered several CD's online.
October 30, 2002:
As a special Halloween gift to their half dozen fans, The Seagreen Incorruptible have made available the original, handwritten lyrics to the classic odd rock outtake "Supernatural Gorilla"
Bill Lyon's garage, the band's first and last rehearsal / recording space, has been turned into a gay gym.
Bryan Ward bought a new coat, brown with red trim, and immediately made a new friend on the Metra.
As of last weekend, two out of Bryan's last two bosses have called him "Moneybags" regarding unreleated instances of petty corporate fraud.
New lyrics will be updated before the weekend, songs include Oh,Julius!, Intimate Volunteer, Extra Innings in the World Series of Erotica, Thanks for the Cocaine, and I Want Immediate Access to Autumn.
Oh.. and the band is back together again.
September 28, 2002:
Earlier this afternoon, Bryan Ward illegally charged a delicious Chocolate Cream pie from Baker's Sqaure in Orland Park to the Books-A-Million company. Thanks fuckers!
After months of engaging and productive rehearsals, The Seagreen Incorruptible have disenegrated into the cold, dark void.
Better luck next time around, guys!
September 17, 2002:
Bryan Ward nearly choked to death on a cookie yesterday afternoon in the kitchen of his parent's home in Oak Forest.
Later that evening, Bryan was watering the deck when repeatedly bit by mosquitos. A few hours later, he noticed a numbness in his left arm which is suspect to be the first symptoms of virus. Bryan and his mother then had a pleasant conversation about his eventual death.
Bryan Ward is currently recovering in his residence.
Work on the record / novel has been very steady and creatively satisfying over the last few weeks until this latest, hopefully momentary, setback.
August 28, 2002:
Bryan Ward has been too busy with his new Cat Power bootlegs to do any work.
July 26, 2002:
With Brian Thomas once again accounted for, The Segreen Incorruptible have been steadily rehearsing and will be scheduling some live performances in the very near future, for real this time.
If you or anyone you know, would like to join The Seagreen Incorruptible on a semi-permanent basis, send us an email through this site. No experience necessary! No upfront fees!
July 15, 2002:
This may be the lowest point in The Seagreen Incorruptible's entire history.
After just one rehearsal, Brian Thomas has fled the state to parts unknown.
Bill Lyon, who had been reluctantly playing bass, is suffering from bouts of amnesia; at one point unwittingly stealing a bag full of cables, pedals, and processors from Bryan Ward, who is planning on turning the remnants of the band into a do-wop vocal group.
June 24, 2002:
Keeping out of the public eye for the last few weeks, The Seagreen Incorruptible were recently spotted on wooded road near Willow Springs, late in the evening. It appeared they were lost.
Bill Lyon, possibly out of guilt for implicating Bryan Ward in a public health scare some years back, has genorously donated the infamous "Nestled in Gum tapes" to the archives. Thanks Bill!
Bill was also cleared on charges of guitar fraud this past week, and made out handsomely!
June 5, 2002:
The Seagreen Incorruptible continue to have problems as a live band. Recently, members expressed frustration with the rigorous schedule and stressful practices. Hopefully, the band will adopt a more relaxed approach in the future.
Concerned that history will forget Elian Gonzales, Brian Thomas is planning on performing another piece dedicated to the child over the summer. The composition will be the next in what Brian hopes will become an annual event, entitled "My (Annual) Dinner with Elian."
Tickets are available in advance through this site.
Almost near completion is Brian's song cycle about on chasing Osama Bin Ladin through a jungle with an ambulance. "Looking for Osama" has been pencilled in as Fall schedule replacement for the Elmhurst music college.
Bill Lyon has been on his hunger strike for the three days now.
Bryan Ward killed his car in order to attend Alejandra & Aeron's two Chicago performances last weekend. His review: slightly mindblowing.
May 15, 2002:
After downloading a voice synthesizer, Bryan Ward has vowed never to record another live vocal track. Rather, he will type in his lyrics and whatever the computer outputs will be instantly tracked as a finished vocal without concern for the result.
"All the Angels in Heaven vs the Blob" was completed this afternoon. It was finished before the voice synthesizer was downloaded; therefore, it has the meaningless distinction of the featuring the last authentic Bryan Ward vocal.
May 9, 2002:
After the painful realizations that the world is not ready for "Pug Nanny" and the rights to ET will be forever kept away from him, Bryan Ward is half-heartedly back to work on "Say Goodbye to Yourself."
Bryan has gone on record as being "horrified" that Bill Lyon has yet to seen the movie "Tron."
April 29, 2002:
This Friday evening, The Seagreen Incorruptible will hold the first rehearsals with their new line up. It is unknown if anyone will show up.
Bryan has briefly abandoned all his current projects to develop a pair of pilot scripts; "Pug Nanny" and "ET in Ikea." Check your local listings.
April 8, 2002:
The Seagreen Incorruptible welcomes their newest member, second drummer John Szymanski!! John is best known for his organization of fund raising concerts to provide Chicago suburbs with beautiful, high-quality bike paths.
Work on Bryan Ward's audio-literal project will be interrupted for a short period of time will he is undergoing a battery of tests for his dehabilitating migraine headaches.
If you should see Brian Thomas, remind him that his jacket is at Bryan Ward's house.
Bill Lyon has agreed to donate a handful of never before heard tracks for the upcoming Bill Lyon retrospective scheduled for relase later next month. Rumor has it, the legendary "Nestled in Gum" tapes will be among them.
April 1, 2002:
Bryan Ward's whirlwind romance with Chan Marshall culminated in a hastily assembeled April 1st wedding in Las Vegas, with Brian Thomas as best man, and Bill Lyon filling in for the absent maid of honor- the priest, of course, was Elvis himself. Chan has described the union as "sexually fulfilling." She went on to declare her plans for married life: "I'm retiring from music. I don't want to take the spotlight away from my highly creative and brilliant husband. The only thing you'll hear from me is backing vocals on Bryan's songs. Like the Cocteau Twins, but with complete male dominance."
As a graduation present, Bill's parents and grandparents have finalized a deal to give power of attorney to their legal heir. This includes a near complete liquidation of a family fortune over a century in the making. The new multi-millionaire plans to retain a small allowance for world travel, and the rest will go to Ronald McDonald's children's fund. The Dalai Lama will be granted a brief audience with the famous international playboy.
Raves from both Downbeat and the papal encyclical Divinorum Musicae are merely highlights in the sudden mass acceptance of Brian Thomas's self-titled double CD debut for Warner Elektra. Ken Burns, upon hearing "Brian Thomas", is rumored to have set fire to the master copy of his recent documentary. Combining the compositional genius of Debussy, the improvisational freedom of Ornette Coleman, and the lyrical power of a young Bob Dylan, Thomas has created a new form of music that others can only hope to copy. Sometime in May, Bjork, Thomas, and the reanimated frozen body of Walt Disney are scheduled to found a utopian lunar colony, with the decendants of Thomas comprising the Judical branch of government in the so-called "demonarchy."