Johnny the wolf. Johnny was a wolf, not the type you find in the zoo- they're way too tame, no sir, he was a wild one. Years ago when the earth was young, wolves and other animals roamed freely - the way nature had intended. One day whilst Johnny was out hunting for food, he saw a young woman in a little Corvette, it was an old car with rust on the blue-gray body and an unsprayed red hood. The young woman was on her way to visit her grandmother, on her father's side of the family. Her gran lived in an exclusive retreat, next to the woods where Johnny stayed. The young woman, riding in her red hooded car, decided that she was thirsty and pulled off the road, even though there were signs posted all along the roadside warning the public not to get out of their vehicles, nonetheless, she was a rebel - in a bad way - and "no rules were gonna apply to her". So she got out and decided to have a quick brunch, since she was stopping in any case, and right there next to the road, that was next to the woods where gran stayed - which meant where Johnny also stayed, she took out an enormous cooler box filled with all kinds of goodies (We're talking premium stuff. ie smoked ham, cold Turkey drumsticks with honey basting, sweet-and-sour pork spare ribs - with her uncle Merv's secret sauce - and the like). Now as you all know wolves are of the canine family, same as dogs, which meant that he could smell food and especially a feast like this from a mile away. With the smell of food came the idea of food and with the idea of food came the craving and with the craving came the drooling (a fact which Pavlov popularised in his famous experiment - but that's a different story). So, drivin by his wild instincts and senses he had to get hold of whatever brought that smell, as we all know you tend to associate things with their smell afterall, and so he tried to eat the woman in the little red hooded corvette and got shot by the gamewarden (some will tell you he was killed with an axe - little chance of that happening, believe me). So now Johnny was dead, through no fault of his own, not to mention his wife and little ones, who starved in their den, whilst waiting for daddy to bring home the food... The end.

Andy Kaufman, this page is dedicated to your memory. (1949 - 1984)

I want to tell dee joke yes. There was dees tree people yes, who had a cannon dey wanted to use in dee war yes. So dey pulled dee cannon over de mountains weef alot of effort. When dey come to dee war dey forget to breeng de cannon ball, de end. Tenk you veddy much

Lamb Casserole 1 medium onion, finely chopped                  1/2 teaspoondillwood 1 medium greenpepper, minced                    3 tablespoons butter or margarine 1 garlic clove, crushed                                4 shoulder lamb chops Pinch of thyme                                           1 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon rosemary                                 1 package(5 1/2oz.) scaloped                                                                           potato mix Combine onion, green pepper, garlic and herbs. Cook in butter or margerine until onion is soft but not brown. Remove onion mixture from pan. Sprinkle chops with salt; brown slowly on both sides in drippings left in pan. Prepare scalloped potato mix as directed on package, using shallow 1 1/2 quart baking dish. Arrange lamb chops on top. Devide onion mix in 4 equal parts; mound on chops. Bake at 350' for 30 to 35 minutes or until potatoes are golden brown and tender.                                                                                      Makes 4 servings.