Love Defined
(by the Bible)
"Falling in Love" vs. True Love
The true meaning of love, as defined in the Bible, has been corrupted
in the common usage of our English language and society. Most often, love
is confused with infatuation - that elated, "high" feeling we get when we
"fall in love." This kind of "love" is something that lasts typically less
than a year, and unless replaced by true love, results in broken
relationships.
Origin of Love
The Bible indicates that love is from God. In fact, the Bible says "God
is love."1 Love is
one of the primary characteristics of God. Likewise, God has endowed us
with the capacity for love. This capacity for love is one of the ways in
which we are "created in the image of
God."2
Different Kinds of Love
The Greek language (the language of the New Testament) uses two
different words to describe and define love. The most commonly used Greek
word translated "love" in the New Testament is "agape." This love is
represented by God's love for us. It is a non-partial, sacrificial love
probably best exemplified by God's provision for our rebellion:
"For God so loved (agape) the world, that He gave His only begotten
Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal
life. (John 3:16)
The gift3 of God's son
as a provision for sin4
was given to all humans,5
regardless of who we are.6
God's love is unconditional.7
In contrast, our love is usually conditional and based upon how other
people behave toward us. This kind of love is based upon familiarity and
direct interaction. The Greek word "phileo" defines this kind of love,
often translated "brotherly love." Phileo is a soulish (connected through
our emotions) kind of love - something that can be experienced by both
believers and non-believers. This is in contrast to agape, which is love
extended through the spirit. Agape love requires a relationship with God
through Jesus Christ, since the non-regenerated soul is unable to love
unconditionally. Agape love gives and sacrifices expecting nothing back in
return.8
A good example of the difference between agape and phileo can be found
in the Lord's interaction with Peter following his denial of being a
disciple of Jesus (Matthew 26:31-75).
So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon,
son of John, do you love [agape] Me more than these?" He said to
Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love [phileo] You." He said to him, "Tend
My lambs." (John 21:15)
He said to him again a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you
love [agape] Me?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love [phileo]
You." He said to him, "Shepherd My sheep." (John 21:16)
He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love [phileo]
Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love
[phileo] Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know
that I love [agape] You." Jesus said to him, "Tend My sheep. (John
21:17)
In this exchange, Jesus used the word agape the first two times,
whereas Peter replied with the word phileo. The third time, Jesus used
Peter's word, phileo, and Peter finally caught on and replied with the
word "agape." Those who have studied the Bible and know about Peter's
character know that Peter was ruled by his emotions and often responded to
situations emotionally, rather than thinking before acting. Sometimes this
kind of response lead to good things (e.g., Peter walking on the water to
meet Jesus - Matthew 14:25-33), whereas at other times, Peter's response
was inappropriate (He was interrupted by God while suggesting that he
build three tabernacles, one for Jesus, one for Moses, and one for Elijah
on the Mount of Transfiguration - Matthew 17:4). Peter was quite
proficient at expressing phileo love, and was probably very popular
because of his dynamic character. However, God wants us to express both
phileo love and agape love. Peter expressed this idea in his first
epistle:
Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a
sincere love [phileo] of the brethren, fervently love [agape] one
another from the heart, (1 Peter 1:22)
Believers in the churches of Asia Minor had already expressed phileo
love, but Peter was encouraging them to fervently express agape love as
well. If you are a Christian, you are encouraged to express both soulish,
familiar love and spirit-led unconditional love.
The most famous biblical chapter on love is from 1 Corinthians:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I
am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of
prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a
faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I
give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but
have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does
not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never
fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are
tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass
away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection
comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a
child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a
man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as
in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I
shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain:
faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1
Corinthians 13:1-13)
This is a description of apage love. It is described as being patient,
kind, truthful, unselfish, trusting, believing, hopeful, and enduring. It
is not jealous, boastful, arrogant, rude, selfish, or angry. True love
never fails. The description perfectly fits God's love toward us, and
should be the way we love each other and God. However, I have never met
any person who perfectly fulfills this biblical definition of love. The
Bible says that this unconditional love is more important than everything
else (a partial list includes oratory ability, prophecy, knowledge, faith,
philanthropy and hope). All of these things, which are "good" things, will
pass away. Only love is eternal, since love will be the basis of eternal
life. In fact, when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, He
said,"YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL
YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND." (Matthew 22:37)9
He then added that the second most important law was "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR
NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." Jesus said that the entire law was dependent upon
these two commandments.9
If you are not a Christian, I hope you desire to express love as
defined in the Bible. However, wanting to do so and attempting to do so in
the power of your own will is guaranteed to fail. This kind of love is
only possible through relying on the power of God, through faith in Jesus
Christ. Even if you are a Christian, you will succeed if you do not abide
in Christ. May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into
the steadfastness of Christ.10
References
- Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1
John 4:8)
- So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created
him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)
- being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which
is in Christ Jesus; (Romans 3:24)
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life
in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23)
For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of
yourselves, it is the gift of God; (Ephesians 2:8)
- In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and
sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:10)
- So then as through one transgression there resulted condemnation to
all men, even so through one act of righteousness there resulted
justification of life to all men. (Romans 5:18)
For the death that He [Jesus] died, He died to sin, once for all; but
the life that He lives, He lives to God. (Romans 6:10)
...God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the
knowledge of the truth. (1 Timothy 2:3-4)
For it is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed our hope
on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of
believers. (1 Timothy 4:10)
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, (Titus
2:11)
and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only,
but also for those of the whole world. (1 John 2:2)
- For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for
salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the
Greek. (Romans 1:16)
For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is
Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call upon Him; (Romans
10:12)
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man,
there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. (Galatians
3:28)
- But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were
yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)
- But love [agape] your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them
without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great,
and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the
ungrateful and wicked. (Luke 6:35)
- "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And He said to
him, "'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH
ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.' This is the great and foremost
commandment. The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS
YOURSELF.' On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the
Prophets." (Matthew 22:36-40)
- 2 Thessalonians 3:5
Copyright GodandScience.org
©2001
LongJohn Network Designs
All Rights Reserved.
Contact Us
A Partner of The
Woconline Online Server