Dear Bn,
I avoided reading your letter until late - I already knew what it would
say, even if I hadn't run into you this afternoon. I somehow knew this
would come soon.
What can I say to you? You are right to do this; in my mind I know this.
In my heart, I don't want this. I am torn because this is a loss - a loss
of you not only as a playmate, but as a friend. One of the best friends
I've ever had, truly. But I know this is how it has to be. You tried to
tell me that once before.
You are a special, wonderful person. You are not just a mistress,
although I may treat you that way. You are not just another lover, although you may had felt that way with me. You are one of the most unique human beings I've ever met. You are loving, very full of knowledge and wisdom, sensitive, giving, tolerant, selfless, beautiful and you have a wonderful spirit.
You gave me so much. I hope I did the same for you. More than anything, I
hope our relationship did not hurt you; that I did not hurt you. I can be
insensitive sometimes (like that's news to you!); I hope that the
experience of our relationship was as wonderful for you as it was for me.
I know I cannot give you what you need in your life now. I wish I could;
it would be great. You will run into that person some time; probably when
you least expect it. I want that for you more than anything else; more
than you as a lover; even more than you as a friend. But I hope some day
we can continue the friendship - you are much better at it than you think.
This saddens me. I can't deny that. But remember that one of my
greatest joys is seeing you happy and enjoying yourself. When that truly
happens for you, I will be happier than I have ever been.
I will always love you and remember our good times together.
Goodbye.
Your Friend.
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