Dear Bn,

This is one of those things I've been meaning to do for some time now - to write and try to put some of my thoughts about our relationship down. One of the reasons it's taken so long is that this relationship is hard to explain, as well you know. So I've realized that I should not try to explain it, but just enjoy it.

First, I want to thank you again for the great gifts you have given me - I enjoy them all frequently. This is a bad habit you have, spending money on me - you should stop immediately! I will take backrubs instead.

Next, I want to tell you again how much fun I have when I'm with you. It is still surprising to me how comfortable I feel around you; how much fun we have; how good everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING) is with you. It is not something I've had in a while - great fun, great sex, a great friendship.

Maybe that's why I sometimes am also confused by this relationship. Not confused in a bad way, but more like I'm observing it from outside myself and saying "Well, that's interesting!" I sometimes think that I must be careful with what I say or do with you - but not because you have given me any reason to worry - rather, because I do feel so comfortable with you, I fear that I may be leading you on, taking advantage of you, confusing YOU with my strong reactions to you. Does this make sense?

You are a wonderfully unique being. I don't think I've ever met anyone quite like you. Your sense of adventure is exciting. Your willingness to try new things is interesting and very cool. Your complete enjoyment of sex and your body is incredibly erotic and fun to watch (I like to watch, you know). You have a great sense of pride, and intelligence, which is reflected in your very special daughter. You are a great person!

And you have allowed me the privelege of seeing some of your pain, your past, your struggles. But you don't do this in a self-serving way. Rather in a way that makes me feel honored - that you feel close enough to me to risk those potentially painful memories and experiences. This is another part of our relationship that I feel happy to have. And you allow me to do the same with you, which is very comforting.

What else can I say, friend? I love our relationship the way it is now. I hope I do not take advantage of it or your feelings. I hope we can continue to have great fun together. I want to continue to be one of your best friends, and for you to be one of mine. And, I really, REALLY like the backrubs you give!

Thank you for all the love, the intimacy, the fun we've had together. I can't wait to see what's next!

Your Friend.