From: KENYON::RADAKS "Spellbinder" 14-DEC-1992 15:11:57.51
To: @MCBRIDE.DIS
CC:
Subj: One More Time
Hello boys and girls, it's that time once again. Let's all get into the
Christmas spirit. What's wrong ? Awww! It's those damn finals. It's kinda
like staring into the face of a loaded gun (or a full case of Rainier) isn't it
? Well just CUT IT OUT FOR A SECOND. Relief is here. Oh yes you know what
time it is. It's time for: (loud blaring trumpet music fanfare)
RRRRR AA GGGGG IIIIII N N GGGGG
R R A A G II NN N G
R R A A G II N N N G
RRRRR AAAAAA G GG II N N N G GG
R R A A G G II N NN G G
R R A A GGGGG IIIIII N N GGGGG
BBBBBBBBB UU UU LL LL 333333333
BB BB UU UU LL LL 33
BB BB UU UU LL LL 33
BBBBBBBB UU UU LL LL 33333
BB BB UU UU LL LL 33
BB BB UU UU LL LL 33
BBBBBBBBB UUUUUUUU LLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLL 333333333
THE FINAL EXAM PERIOD
Ironic Statements
- Andy Richmond ? Yeah, I know him. I can't ever imagine him drunk.
- So it's $7.99 for fifteen. How bad can it be ?
- You mean the AD's actually pressure you to drink ?
- I don't think underage drinking is a problem at Kenyon. After all where
would they get it from.
- Only 18 alcohol related arrests ? See I told you they don't drink
around here.
- It's only a Coors cup. That doesn't mean there is beer in it.
- His breath just smells bad; so what if we're ten feet away ?
Timeout For Truth
What is this shit ? Oh, never mind. I'm too drunk to care.
100 bottles of beer all the wall, Andy and Mark drank then all.
They took them down and passed 'em round then went up for shotgun
round.
Oh no, Rainier Day three is coming !!! One must give great respect to
its participants. They are the only people I know who can drink that much
poison and get out of bed the next morning (or is that fall out of bed, or
heave out of bed, or spew in the bed, or get off the floor because they didn't
make it to bed, or get out of some strange bed and wonder where they are, or get
out of some strange bed and not wonder where they are, or get up off of Middle
Path because they didn't make to any bed...you get the picture)
HISTORY FLASHBACK:
"I drank Rainier ? Quick give me the hemlock !"
-Socrates (circa long time ago)
The Christmas Wish List
Melinda: The Book on How to Manipulate People into Doing Dumb Shit. Vol. 2
Sarah: A bomb to blow up her Bio class with.
Carol: A French boyfriend to do her French 39 papers
Mark M.: A faster shotgun time
Mark A.: An unembarssing shotgun time and a new alimentary canal to replace
the Rainier rotted one
Andy: Instant hangover cure, a new alimentary canal and a new liver
Tracy: A vacation to use on Rainier Day
Matt: An obnoxious cure for drunkness
Steve: A girlfriend, some new jokes for Nineteen Nineties Studio, and all
my money from the school for Wednesday's P A R T Y !!!!!
Any One I forgot: Boxing gloves to hit Steve in the face for forgetting them.
The Twelve Days of Christmas: Kenyon Style
Day 1: A case of Rainier
Day 2: 2 bottles of wine and another case of Rainier
Day 3: 3 kegs of Strohs and another case of Rainier
Day 4: 4 Bacardi Breezers and another case of Rainier
Day 5: 5 cases of Rainier
Day 6: A six-pack of malt liquor and another case of Rainier
Day 7: Seven encores of the "Boxer" and a case of Rainier for everyone
Day 8: 8 bottles of Jack Daniels Downhome Punch and a case of Rainier
Day 9: 9 feet of spew from drinking all of that Rainier
Day 10: 10 hours of hell from the hangover from all that Rainier
Day 11: 11 hour promise not to drink Rainier for as long as we live
Day 12: 12 cases of Rainier in attempt to make the biggest Rainier Day ever.
To you, all my friends, I raise my glass and cheer.
When I toast to you our parting it's a full can of Rainier.
It's been and awesome semester and I hope the next one is even better. Have a
great winter vacation and I hope you get everything you want for Christmas. I
sent out my love to you all.
MERRY CHRISTMAS from Nineteen Nineties Studio and Spellbinder Productions.