Editors Note: Scoops McCracken has given up the reigns of ESOX beat reporter to his younger brother, Skip McCracken, a recent graduate of THE Ohio State University. Scoops will continue to write ESOX columns, but will be more of an opinioned columnist. This is his first article as a non-beat reporter & columnist.
A FEW BOLD PREDICTIONS FOR THE COMING YEAR
This is what will happen during the next 12 months based on what I saw recently in my crystal ball:
Late May-Minnetonka takes 2 of 3 from the Twins. Twins sign Jesus, Son of God, to close out the 3rd game and win the series, but he is rocked for 4 earned runs & 7 hits. Tonka then promptly wins the state tournament by a 3 game combined score of 135-2.
Early June-Anaheim G Jean Sebastian Giguere has finally met his match in fellow French-Canadian G Martin Brodeur as the Devils win the cup in 6 games. The Spurs beat the Nets in the NBA, but nobody still cares.
Mid June-Nebraska goes 0-2 at the College World Series, prompting the Cornhuskers to be officially dubbed �Barbecue College.�
Early July-A 12 yr. Old moron in Kentucky blows his right hand off with a black cat. His mom then sues claiming that the firework company was making her son play with fireworks.
Mid July-Minnesota hockey players Thomas Vanek, Keith Ballard, & Paul Martin announce they will all be staying in school for the 2003-04 season. NCAA headquarters begins engraving championship trophy and UofM athletic department orders three-peat championship banner.
Late July-Sports Illustrated begins airing their NFL preview video collection, which gives fans of every team hope that they will win Super Bowl XXXVIII. Meanwhile, ESOX get swept by the Richfield Ramblers again.
Early August-75,000 fans show up to watch Ohio State�s Saturday intrasquad scrimmage, which is broadcasted live on KBBL Channel 6 news. Fans call in wondering what is wrong with QB Craig Krenzel�s out passes.
Mid August-Yankees GM Brian Cashman trades for Mark Prior, Pedro Martinez, & Barry Zito to add some bullpen depth for the October playoffs.
Late August-John Madden strokes Packer QB Brett Favre because �he�s not a quarterback, he�s a football player.�
Early September-Gopher football team defeats Troy State 44-13 in front of 13,456 fans at the Metrodome.
Mid September-Wild open up training camp with 450 media members on hand all asking �do you think you can advance to the Stanley Cup this year?�
Late September-Twins ask Randy Moss & Daunte Culpepper to pitch in weekend series against Detroit so Gardenhire can set up his rotation for the playoffs. Moss goes 6-1/3 scattering 2 runs and Culpepper earns save as Twins defeat Tigers 7-4.
Early October-Daunte Culpepper becomes 1st NFL QB to throw for 350 yards, rush for 150, run for 2 TD�s, and fumble the football 6 times in an NFL game.
Mid October-Minnesota defeats Michigan and wins the Little Brown Jug for the 1st time since post Iran-Contra era. Students don�t know what to do and celebrate the win with a riot, causing the jug to break, which causes the rivalry to cease.
Late October-Barry Bonds becomes first player to hit the top row of the upper deck with a HR at the Metrodome during game 6 of the 2003 World Series. HR comes off of Twins P Rick Reed.
PAGE 2 OF SCOOPS' PREDICTIONS
