Imagine this senario: you go to your favorite bar. You go in the back, where the pool tables are, you decide to order a few and tip a few back with your friends. As you are about to take your first drink of beer, you begin to hear sounds similar to:
"(WHAP)!"
"Turn......turn.......TURN!"
"Go right!!!!! GO RIGHT!"
"Backspin!!! BACKSPIN!!"
"(pounding of fist to big video game)!"
Yep......you guessed it. It's GOLDEN TEE GUY! Golden Tee Guy can be found at any establishment where Golden Tee exists, which seems to be almost everywhere today.
Golden Tee Guy comes in a variety of shapes and forms. But he almost always has the same traits. First off, before Golden Tee Guy plays Golden Tee, he first takes out his wallet and pulls out not only his money to play Golden Tee (I think it costs about $4.00 a round now, what happened to 25 cents for Karate Champ?) but pulls out his Golden Tee Players Club Card, which keeps track of all of Golden Tee Guy's stats & scores. Next, Golden Tee guy begins his round. His first shot consists of: ever so slowly rolling the big ball shooter backwards so Golden Tee Guy can get his proper shot (hook, slice, etc.) ready, pausing for a minimum of 5 to 7 seconds before..........WHAM, Golden Tee Guy puts a 2 foot run into his shot. Golden Tee Guy usually holds a follow through for at least 5 seconds which then is followed by words such as "DRAW," "CUT," "LEFT LEFT LEFT," "GO RIGHT, GO RIGHT" or "Fu$% Yeah!"
Golden Tee Guy's main objective is to let everyone in the bar know that he is playing Golden Tee. Golden Tee Guy believes that everyone else in the bar is either jealous of him or is interested in him, as if all the women are now going to flock to the Golden Tee machine to watch this athlete display his talents. If women were into guys with video game talents, Scoops & Punchy would have been scoring with women 10 years older than me back in the 3rd grade when they were owning the "Karate Champ" machine down at Blip's Arcade.
This next beer goes out Golden Tee Guy.....hopefully he doesn't hit us with his when he wacks the Golden Tee machine when his ball doesn't "FADE RIGHT!"